Ask the Lesser Known Z Fighters!
by Satu-D-2
Summary: Hehehe... Tien, Chiaotzu, Yamcha, Krillin, Piccolo, Dende and King Vegeta have been kidnapped and transported to my room... Feel free to ask what you want. Yajirobe is our newest recruit
1. Chapter 1

Satay: Welcome...to the most diabolical place on Earth... my bedroom! (random lightning) Ahem... The members of the Z fighters we will be 'interviewing' today will be arriving soon. They're really very eager to meet me. Now, since Yuko the Saiyan has Goku and Vegeta, Tempz99 has both the bad guys _and_ the girls, Radiza-Saiyajin-Goddes has the Saiyans, Dragonballgeek101 has the kids, and The Ultimate Saiyan has the Ginyu Force, I kinda had to make do. I'm happy with who's left over, but I would have loved to have interviewed Vegeta. Mm...Vegeta (drools) Uh...anyway, (wipes mouth) I think our first guest is arriving now!

(Hole opens in the ceiling and Yamcha drops through wearing his basketball uniform)

Yamcha: What the -? Where am I?

Satay: Hey, Yamcha! How are you today?

Yamcha: I'm confused...

Satay: Well, you just wait for a second, the others will be here soon.

Yamcha: Others?

(Hole opens in the wall and Krillin is catapulted into the room. He lands on Yamcha's lap)

Krillin: Yamcha? How did you get to Kame House so quickly?

Yamcha: (sounding oddly sinister) You're not in Kame House any more, Krillin.

Krillin: I'm not...? Who's that?

Satay: (mysteriously) My name is not important for the moment. We've just got to wait for the others to get here.

(Hole opens in the ceiling again and Tien and Chiaotzu drop through)

Tien: What in Kami's name?

Chiaotzu: Where are we?

Satay: Hi, guys. (shyly) Hi, Tien.

Tien: Uh...hi?

Satay: (giggles like a schoolgirl)

Chiaotzu: Tien, I'm scared.

Tien: Me too, Chiaotzu...me too.

Satay: Ok, we've only got a few more people to show up. They're taking their time though, aren't they?

Krillin: I know why we're here! You've got some diabolical scheme to take over the world, so you're capturing all of us to make sure we can't stop you! Oh Kami! I bet Goku and Vegeta will be next.

Satay: (rolls eyes) You underestimate me, Krillin. Who needs Goku and Vegeta? I'll be happy once our last two guests get here and I can start the interviewing process.

Tien: Yo-you're not going to kidnap Goku and Vegeta?

Satay: Kami, no. Why would I? Other people are interviewing them. I put dibs on you guys (grins)

(Hole opens in the floor. Piccolo and Dende are pushed up through the hole.)

Piccolo: What the hell?

Dende: Now, Piccolo. That's hardly appropriate.

Piccolo: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Dende. What I meant to say was: Holy crap, what the hell?!?

Dende: (frowns)

Piccolo: (smirks)

Tien: Dende? What's Dende doing here?

Satay: I think he's cute. Aww...look at his little antennae.

Dende: Uh... alright then...

Satay: Aww!!!

Piccolo: Hmph... Why are we here?

Satay: Oh right, the interview thing. First I'll introduce myself. My name is Satu. I'm 16, and I'm a girl (I know you guys know that, but with a name like Satu, no one else is really sure). Also, you can call me Satay.

Krillin: Uh...why?

Satay: Because it's one of my nicknames!

Yamcha: But your author's name is Satu-D-2.

Satay: Another one of my nicknames, which also gives the reader a clue on how to pronounce my name the Australian way...not the original Finnish way... (sidles up to Tien) You can call me Saucy Satay if you wanna.

Tien: Uh...

Satay: Anyway, you guys get comfortable. Krillin, you can sit on my bedside table, Yamcha on the toy box – yes, I still have a toy box...it's not like I play with the toys anymore (shifty eyes) – Piccolo, you can do that floaty thing you do. Dende, can you do that too?

Dende: Uh... Yes?

Satay: Well then, that's better. Kami it's crowded in here! I shouldn't have used my room.

Chiaotzu: Where do Tien and I sit?

Satay: You can sit on my bed...with me (blush). Don't worry, I'll sit on the pillow and you guys can space yourself around and...yeah.

Krillin: Is that a poster of Vegeta?

Satay: No... (pulls down the numerous posters from the walls) Ok, now we can forget that and move along.

Yamcha: Are you going to ask us any questions?

Satay: Well...not really. That's for the fans to do. They've gotta leave reviews with questions for you or me or whatever! They'll also give you food...if they're kind.

Krillin: Why can't you give us food?

Satay: Because if I open the door you'll escape... I'm not going to hurt you, by the way, so don't try attacking me.

Tien: You're not another one of those half-Saiyans that we never knew existed, are you?

Satay: Kami, no! I'm just a human (albeit a super genius who got an A in Maths B on the first try ;) ), although I eat like a Saiyan (basically inhaling my food, always first finished at the dinner table by a long period of time, I consider a drink to be a distraction...you get the idea...). But I'm cute, so you wouldn't hurt me...would you? (puppy-dog eyes)

Tien: Uh...

Piccolo: (groans) I'm so tired of this... Let's get this over with then.

Satay: Alright. You heard the Namek, let's get those reviews/questions rolling in! I'll update when I've got enough (cough-at-least-5-cough) and we'll get started :D:D:D:D

Yamcha: Why do I have a sense of foreboding?

Chiaotzu: I don't know...but I've got it too.

Satay: Aww... Chiaotzu, you're so cute!

Chiaotzu: AH! Tien!

Tien: Don't worry, Chiaotzu, I'll protect you.

Satay: I'd be more worried about yourself, Tien. (growls and does that little paw-swipey thing)

Everyone: O.o"

Satay: (ignoring them) Oh yeah, and if you want any other people added, then just put that in your review as well. I'll put them in if I deem them suitable :D:D:D:D (deem is such a weird word...) (and yes, I know I spell Chiaotzu weirdly...I just can't break the habit now...) Also, ss talos also has Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Krillin, so make sure to send the same questions to as me to them, ya? Ya.

Krillin: How can I be in two places at once?

Satay: (hissed under breath) Shut up, Krillin. (smiles like a game-show host on crack to readers). Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Satay: Welcome to chapter two (or is it one? Uh...I'll get back to you on that) of Ask the Lesser Known Z Fighters.

Yamcha: Lesser known!?! But I'm one of the most popular!!!

Satay: Aha...sure, Yamcha. You won't think that when you hear our first lot of questions. Ahem:

**Dragonballgeek101 asks:**

**YAYAYYAYAYAYAYA lol loved it**

**Yamcha: DIE U BASTURED! (hits REALLY hard on the head wit my mallet) VEGETA'S MINE! U CAN'T KILL HIM MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Krillin: Right now, do u have hair? ur cute**

**Tein: I think Satay has an obbsession wit u and Vegeta... VEGGIE MINE!**

**Chiaotzu: Ok, I cant spell ur name, so ur Pie for now.**

**Dende: (bows) bow 2 the cute Namek**

**Piccolo: hehehehehehehehehehehe Pie... Do u miss ur home Planet?**

**Satay: lol this is a great story. Hey, nobody will bring in King Vegeta. Could u?? I want to beat the shit out of him for giving Cut lil Veggie away 2 lipstick man. (aka frieza) lol U ROX! (kisses feet)**

Yamcha: (pales) Uh...I couldn't kill him if I wanted to... Please don't kill me... (cowers) Ow...

Krillin: I have hair. See (runs hand through hair). And thanks! I love being called cute!!!

Yamcha: How come you get called cute and I get hit by a mallet? That's hardly fair!

Krillin: Because I am cute. Nya (pokes out tongue at Yamcha)

Tien: Uh...obsession?

Satay: That's nothing. Close your ears, Tien. (whispers) Shh...he doesn't know yet.

Tien: Yes I do.

Satay: Shhh... I'm also obsessed with Piccolo, but he's asexual, so that doesn't lead anywhere. However, I have put dibs on Tien... Mm...triclops.

Tien and Piccolo: O.o"

Chiaotzu: Pie? Is that my new nickname or...something?

Tien: You do look like a Pie.

Chiaotzu: But I'm not a pastry with some kind of sweet or savoury filling.

Everyone: O.o"

Tien: You take things too literally sometimes, Chiaotzu.

Dende: Aww, you don't have to bow. It makes me feel kinda...

Krillin: Smug?

Yamcha: Superior?

Tien: Conceited?

Dende: Uh... All of the above. So please don't bow. I'll take a handshake though and thanks for calling me cute! (smiles)

Satay: Ok, Piccolo, your turn.

Piccolo: (reads book)

Satay: Piccolo! Stop being anti-social!

Piccolo: (sighs and puts book down) Fine. Earth is technically my home planet, because I only went to Planet Namek once. However, Nail does miss it a lot. And as he's a part of me now, it could be said that I miss it...slightly. And...pie? I mean...what the-?

Satay: Good boy. Hey...that's a good idea! I'll bring him in at the end of the chapter.

Tien: King Vegeta? Where's he going to sit?

Satay: Uh... He can sit on the...bookcase. Anyway, that's not the point. Everyone would like to beat him up. How dare he give little Vegeta (aww, the bangs!!!) away to that freaking (Russian profanities) Frieza.

Krillin: I've never heard so many Russian profanities...

Yamcha: That's very impressive...

Satay: Why thank you. I don't even speak Russian. :D:D:D

Piccolo: (mutters) Oh dear sweet Jesus... (pinches the bridge of his nose)

Satay: Anyway, moving on to question number two! Ahem:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**Nice Story!**

**Tien: Why do you have 3 eyes?**

**Chiaotzu: Exactly WHAT race are you?**

**Krillin: How do you breathe without a nose?**

**Piccolo: Get laid you bum.**

**Dende: Take Piccolo somewhere where he can get laid.**

**Yamcha: Do you want revenge on Vegeta for taking Bulma?**

**(Tosses cookies everywhere) ENJOY!**

**Satay: Could you review my DBZ Q&A? In it, Join me as I poke fun at the Ginyu Force!**

Tien: Now that's a very good question. You see, the fact is that my mother took a lot of drugs when she was pregnant.

Chiaotzu: Tien! That's not true.

Tien: True, but it's more plausible than the real answer.

Satay: Tien, I love ya, but we have to be honest here.

Tien: (sighs) Fine. My mum had two eyes but my dad had four, alright? It didn't work out after I was born. They couldn't believe they had a child with an odd number of eyes. (sniffles) I was their shame.

Chiaotzu: There, there, Tien...

Satay: You have a question too, Chiaotzu.

Chiaotzu: Oh. Right. Uh... I think I'm a human. It's hard to tell. My parents kind of...how can I put this? They thought I looked funny and dropped me off at the Crane Master's house. He didn't want me, but what else was he supposed to do?

Tien: You tell the full story too, Chiaotzu, I'm not letting you off.

Chiaotzu: (blushing) Well, I did kinda paralyse him when he threatened to drop me off a bridge.

Yamcha: Nice!

Krillin: My turn! I breathe through my mouth mostly. I do have a sense of smell though, but I don't know how... I tried to ask a doctor once, but he threw a smoke bomb and ran away. Strange that...

Piccolo: (growls) I'm asexual, damn it.

Dende: Uh-oh.

Piccolo: As such I don't have the freaking equipment to –

Krillin: Wait, Piccolo, does this mean you don't have a -?

Piccolo: (pinching the bridge of his nose) No, I don't. There's no need.

Everyone but the Nameks: O.o

Satay: Dang...I knew this was leading nowhere...

Everyone but Satay: O.o"

Krillin: (loudly) Yamcha! Why don't you answer your question?

Yamcha: Yeah...good idea. Uh... I would like to take revenge on Vegeta for takin' my girl! She was my girlfriend, dammit! We were in lurve!

Krillin: Lurve?

Yamcha: Shut up! (smacks Krillin on the head)

Krillin: Ow...

Satay: Ok, I'm going to go right ahead to question three! Ahem:

**watergoddesskasey asks:**

**O!! i gotta question!! (raises hand) how do namecks reproduce you only see guy ones so does that mean theyre all gay and have hot smexy yaoi lemony butt love? (lol butt love) (throws bagel at namecks) AMSWER ME! RAR!**

Piccolo: (still pinching the bridge of his nose)

Dende: Uh... I'll answer that. We have a process in a special organ we call a neira. It's underneath our stomachs, with a connection to our oesophagus. When a Namek decides he wants a child, he undergoes a fertilisation process in this organ which forms into a –

Piccolo: He's saying we cough up an egg. End of story.

Dende: (sounding a little putout) Yes, basically, that's what we do. There is only one sex of Namek.

Piccolo: Krillin, take this (tosses bagel to Krillin). We don't eat either. We only drink water. And don't get me started on the 'hot smexy yaoi lemony butt '-

Satay: (interrupting) Ok, to interrupt this increasingly awkward scene, I give you question four! Ahem:

**Maric asks:**

**Piccolo: Do many people considered of you as a gentleman fighter?**

**Krillin: What did your parents though when you first introduced 18 to them?**

Piccolo: Hmm... Gentleman fighter? Do you mean if I consider many people to be them, or if many people consider me one? If the former, I consider none of these fools to be gentlemen. And I don't care if people consider me a gentleman, but I do try to be polite to people when I'm not trying to kill them.

Yamcha: (sarcastically) Yeah, polite!

Piccolo: (venomously) I'd stay out of this if I were you, Yamcha. (evil glare)

Yamcha: Ok, shutting mouth.

Krillin: Oh...uh...They thought at first that I was some kind of insane paedophile to marry a teenager. It took me ages to explain to mum that she was an android and wouldn't age physically. Yeah... That didn't go well. Then when 18 brought Marron in...things just went from bad to worse...

Tien: Explain.

Krillin: Well, Marron was about three at the time. So that meant that my parents thought I'd knocked up some 15 year old girl, then married her to make it less of a scandal. Don't ask me how that works, my parents are strange people. Alright?

Satay: Moving onto question five! Ahem:

**Tien Shenhan asks:**

**Excellent! Finally an interview with my favorite characters.**

**Everyone: At first, all you of were at least somewhat able to keep up with the Saiyans. Now it seems that even Piccolo Daimoa has been left behind despite the additional powers he acquired when he fused with Kami-sama. I thought that at least Tien and Piccolo Daimoa would keep up because of their special powers. What happened to all of you?**

**Everyone again except Piccolo Daimoa and Dende: Doesn't it dissapoint all of you that at least one Earthling hasen't emerged possessing powers rivalling those of the other races? Seriously! How would you all react if a human fighter did emerge who had powers that were on par with the Saiyans? Would you feel sad because you all trained your entire lives without accomplishing anything besides being a speedbump for the next evil ki fighter until Goku has time to save the day?**

**Tien: You are my favourite character. I'll give you a T-bone steak with a side order of fried potatoes. Why didn't you just use the evil containment wave during your fight with Nappa? It would have saved both you and Choatzu alot of trouble.**

**Krillin: Did you ever get a chance to train under King Kai like the others? (Krillain gets grilled hamburgers!)**

**Yamucha: How does it feel being the only normal (not to mention the weakest) fighter in the group? (Yamucha gets steak and eggs!!)**

**Piccolo: Your my second favorite character. What are you honest opinions on the subjects of human fighters? If Saiyans have a transformed state and Nameks have one then wouldn't you say that a Human would have one as well? Surely humans have some kind of higher form.**

Tien: First, thanks for the food. I love T-bone! Here, Chiaotzu, you have half.

Chiaotzu: Thanks!

Tien: Secondly, I was always annoyed at being left behind by the Saiyans. We've been left to eat their dirt! It sucks! But I'm still going to be there, for every fight, because while I can do something, I will.

Satay: Good on ya, Tien!

Tien: Right... Anyway, I don't really have many special powers. The only thing that really sets me apart from humans is my third eye and my ability to communicate with Chiaotzu. Like I've said, my dad had four eyes, and Chiaotzu has that power too... Piccolo has always been way stronger than me, I don't stand a chance against any of 'em. If a human fighter rose up who could beat the Saiyans I would be pissed! Seriously! I've trained too hard to be beaten by some little dweeb who's barely trying. It's not fair, dammit!

Chiaotzu: Calm down, Tien.

Tien: Alright, I'm calm (deep breaths) To answer your last question, I decided it wouldn't be very effective. He probably woulda just sliced right through it, and would have sapped a lot of my energy. Plus the fact that during that battle I lost my arm, which sucks by itself and really shatters one's concentration.

Chiaotzu: Ok, I'm not too annoyed by being left behind. Even Tien leaves me behind when we go into battles. My strongest attack is a self-destruct, and no way in hell am I doing that again! It's just not affective. So, I don't mind anymore. I'll happily stay at home and take care of stuff until Tien gets back (grins) Also, I would feel bad for Tien if anyone strong enough showed up. I mean, just look how he reacts.

Tien: (hyperventilates)

Satay: (fetches paper bag)

Krillin: O.o Oh, right, the question. Well, my reaction is pretty much the same as Tien's. It's really annoying, sure, but the Saiyan's just keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm just glad they're on our side! I mean, if they were against us again, it would suck. Royally. No, I never got to train under King Kai. When I died on Namek, I was just a spirit... And I was in the back of the line, too... I was about halfway through before I was wished back. Thank god they gave me my body back. It would suck being a little floaty cloud thing... Thanks for the hamburgers! They look just like the ones 18 makes for me.

Tien: (removing the paper bag) 18 cooks for you?

Krillin: (blushing) Oops...I'm not supposed to mention that...she's gonna kill me.

Satay: Don't worry, I'm sure they'll wish you back with the dragon balls.

Krillin: (dejectedly) Great, that's a real comfort.

Dende: Uh... I'm not much of a fighter. Never have been, never will be, so it's no bother to me what happens in the fighting group.

Yamcha: (through a mouthful of steak and eggs) Thanks for the grub, mate! Love it! I hate being left behind by the Saiyans (especially that snooty Vegeta! ARGH!), but it's not all bad, I guess. At least we know we're safe, right? There are no humans stronger than us, because we're the most awesome! And I AM NOT THE WEAKEST!!!

Piccolo: Yes, you are.

Yamcha: Alright, I guess I am. But what about Master Roshi? He's pretty ordinary looking!

Krillin: (sing-song voice) Someone's in denial.

Yamcha: Shut up, I am not!

Piccolo: Idiots, all around me... Oh, god, save me!

Dende: I wish I could, Piccolo.

Piccolo: Ok, first of all, I am the strongest fighter _except_ for the Saiyans. That is one thing that gives me comfort. Second, I have run out of strong Nameks to fuse with. Unfortunate, I know, but that is all that gave me my boosts in strength. If I unfused with Nail now then I would be much weaker. However, Nail is quite happy being a part of me, and I'm quite happy as long as he's not plaguing me with pictures of Planet Namek. My honest opinions, now that's an interesting question. Gohan is the best fighter, no doubt, although with his pursuits to be a scholar I don't know how he managed it. All the Z fighters are very noble, including Vegeta surprisingly. Yamcha's annoying, as is Krillin sometimes. Tien and Chiaotzu keep to themselves and are very quiet, which is an admirable quality to me. Goten and Trunks rush into things without thinking, generally earning themselves a slap from their mothers. I don't know why 18 stopped fighting, because she was very powerful.

Krillin: She wants to take care of Marron.

Piccolo: Right... That's admirable...I guess... Moving on. Humans do not have a higher state. It is unfortunate, but their bodies do not have the ability to power up to those levels. Tien, as the strongest of the human Z fighters, is also noticeably the biggest, rivalling me in stature. As such, it is to be assumed that as a human gains strength they also gain size, making it nearly impossible for them to power up so much.

Krillin: Then how come I'm not bigger than Yamcha!?! I'm stronger than him!

Piccolo: Yes, but you were born a midget, and Yamcha is an idiot.

Tien: What has that got to do with anything?

Piccolo: Nothing, but I wanted to say it again. (smirks)

Yamcha: (busy eating) Wha-?

Satay: Nothing, nothing, Yamcha. Finish your meal.

Yamcha: (shrugs and continues eating)

Satay: Phew, that was fast. I never thought we'd get so many reviews! Anyway, that's the end of the questions...

Everyone but Satay: YAY!

Satay: ...for today.

Everyone but Satay: Aww...

Yamcha: Damn!

Satay: So send in some more reviews and let's get another chapter of this thing!

Krillin: I want to go home.

Satay: Quiet, Krillin, or you won't get more bagels.

Krillin: I'll be quiet...

Satay: Good. Also, I'd like everyone to welcome our new guest: King Vegeta!

(Hole opens in ceiling and King Vegeta drops through)

King Vegeta: What the hell?

Satay: Welcome to Earth, oh mighty father of the elegantly hot Vegeta.

King Vegeta: I repeat: what the hell?

Satay: Yeah, I'm Satu, 16 years old, girl...blah blah blah, that whole introduction thing. If any of you reviewers have any questions for the ex-king of the ex-Saiyan race, then feel free to ask. If not, he will be banished again.

King Vegeta: I thought I was dead...

Satay: You kinda are.

King Vegeta: So how am I...?

Satay: Don't ask questions..unless you're a reviewer (winks). Don't take your time :D:D:D:D


	3. Chapter 3

Satay: Ok, I've decided that this will be chapter three. How exciting! I'd like to give out a big thank you to everyone who reviewed, you have no idea what a great feeling it is to wake up and have loads of reviews just sitting in your inbox. Yay! Unfortunately, I have to post this in the afternoon coz I've got school (tear)

Krillin: Wait...but you've been here the whole time!

Satay: Did I say school?

Yamcha: (after a pause) Yes, you did.

Satay: Well I didn't mean to. Anyway, moving on to question one! Ahem:

**ss talos asks:**

**this is a very good fic. and have you considerd adding another fighter? i might add a sabiman or a cell jr to my own fic. if you want one pick it and i will take the other.**

**piccolo there is actuly a higer form of human! i know because i have reached it!**

**krillin i think that you have the potentul to reach that form.**

**tien do you know that your great great grandfather was guldos race?**

**that is all for now. but i will be back!**

Piccolo: (sarcastically) You don't say. Well, proved wrong again.

Satay: Piccolo! Be nice!

Piccolo: Ugh.

Krillin: Really? Aw, thanks!

Tien: What about me!?!

Yamcha: (opens his mouth)

Piccolo: You don't stand a chance, Yamcha. Don't even try.

Yamcha: Dang.

Tien: Oh god no!!! I can't be part of that race! They're ugly!!!!!

Yamcha: (opens his mouth)

Tien: Don't you say a word, Yamcha.

Yamcha: Dang.

Tien: (starts sobbing)

Chiaotzu: There, there, Tien. (pats his back comfortingly)

Satay: Uh...I've never seen Tien cry before.

Tien: I'm not crying!

Yamcha: Sure you're not.

Tien: Shut up!

Satay: Moving onto question two...before this gets too weird for my taste. (whispers to Chiaotzu) Calm him down, quickly.

Chiaotzu: (nods and comforts Tien)

Satay: Ok, question two! Ahem:

**Maric asks:**

**I'm glad that you brought King Vegeta here**

**King Vegeta: Do the men in your family go for women who just came out of bad relationships? Was your mate a lonely broken hearted woman when you first met her?**

**Tien and Chiaotzu: Do you miss your friend Lunch?**

**Dende: What is the worst thing about being guardian of the Earth?**

**Yamcha: Have you ever tried to win Bulma back?**

King Vegeta: What? Broken hearted? God no! My mate was a strong-hearted woman. She was a noble-woman of elegant blood. I was her first man. (smirks)

Satay: Stop being so smug, King Vegeta.

King Vegeta: No.

Satay: Ugh... Your turn, Tien and Chiaotzu.

Tien: (has stopped crying) Lunch? Uh...well...

Chiaotzu: (laughs nervously) Not really.

Tien: We broke up... She tried to make me go to a dress-up party as a Cyclops.

Yamcha: So?

Tien: So...well... (flushes) she taped my two eyes closed. I couldn't see anything! (points to third eye) This eye only really senses movement and heightens the sight in my _other two eyes!_ I was running into things all night. We had a big fight and she left. So...I don't really miss her that much...

Dende: I'd have to say looking down at the Earth and seeing all these bad things happening, and not being able to do anything about it.

Piccolo: (sarcastically) How noble.

Dende: Quiet, you!

Yamcha: Well, that's a funny story actually. After Bulma dumped me, and I found out she was dating Vegeta, I did one of those romantic serenades outside her window. I had my guitar and I was singing my heart out.

Krillin: I didn't know you could play the guitar.

Yamcha: Well, funny thing that, I can't. Anyway, Vegeta comes out on the balcony, gives me one look, laughs and shoots a ki-blast at me. Then when I flew up to kill him, I heard Bulma say, "What was that awful noise?" Then Vegeta said, "Nothing, I took care of it." Then Bulma said, "Good. Come back to bed." I didn't stay after that.

Krillin: Good move.

Yamcha: I thought so.

Satay: Nice. Take that, Yamcha! Now, onto question three! Ahem:

**watergoddesskasey asks:**

**BOBS! i got more questions! piccolo do you like the fact your name is a corny gay flute? sounds like pickle to and their green and yummy m...pickles**

**Little pie man! **

**you look like a mime i hate mimes may they burn in the fiery pits of the 7****th**** layer of hell...but i guess cause your small it just makes you cute..anyway how old are u? WHY DONT YOU PEOPLE AGE!? (cept piccolo hes old lol time for someone to asexully reproduce)**

**qustion for all**

**do you hate the fact that goku is super strong but has the IQ of a mossy rock? god that man is dense... bet he didnt know where babies came from till his wife told him...lol**

Piccolo: (growls) My name means 'Other World' in Namekian. Do you want to take this outside?

Satay: Now, Piccolo, you know you're not going outside, and no way in hell am I letting you destroy my bedroom! Plus, no fighting with the reviewers!

Piccolo: (pinches the bridge of his nose) And I am not, in any way, to be compared to a pickle. (twitches) And I am only four years older than Gohan. I'm not ready for a son.

Chiaotzu: I'm not a mime. I can talk...right? I'm not talking in my head again, am I?

Tien: No.

Chiaotzu: Good. I'm two years younger than Tien. That would make me...uh...

Tien: I want to say 32, but no one will believe that.

Satay: I would!

Krillin: Huh, you wish.

Satay: Yes, I do...

Tien and Chiaotzu: O.o"

Tien: Anyway, let it suffice to say we're both on the wrong side of 40, kay?

Chiaotzu: Anyway, Tien's aging. He doesn't want anyone to know he's going bald.

Tien: I AM NOT GOING BALD! I SHAVE MY HEAD! THERE IS A DISTINCT DIFFERENCE!!!

Chiaotzu: Sure...

Krillin: Don't worry, I used to shave my head too.

Tien: But I do it coz it got in my eye...that's all. (shifty eyes)

Satay: That looks so cool when you've got three eyes.

Tien: Why, thank you.

Yamcha: Ok, onto the last question. I think I speak for all of us when I say that it doesn't really matter. Goku's naïve, certainly, but he's our best friend and the one who converted us all to the good side.

Krillin: Hey! I was good to start with.

Yamcha: Ok, converted us all to good, except for Krillin...(catches Dende's look) and Dende.

Piccolo: (snickers) Mossy rock.

Dende: Shh...

Satay: Anyway, onto question four. Ahem:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**Okily Dokily...**

**Piccolo:Is it true you have a lust for Gohan?I KNOW IT'S TRUE! (Holds up a picture of Piccolo kissing Gohan)**

**Krillin:Is it true that you have a small wang?**

**Tien:I have a girl I think you would like to meet...**

**Launch:TIEN!HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME! (Starts shooting at random things)**

**Chiaotzu:Is that face paint that makes your skin white?**

**Yamcha:Bulma dumped you because you were cheating on her.You got what you deserved.**

**King Vegeta:HOW DARE YOU SEE VEG-MAN TO FRIEZA!(Kicks in baby maker)**

Piccolo: I do not (twitch) lust (twitch) for Gohan (twitch-twitch)

Krillin: I don't know, Piccolo. That's a pretty good photo.

Piccolo: You can do anything with photoshop these days. Look at that picture Yamcha found of 18 making passionate love to 17.

Yamcha: He has a point. That was a very disturbing picture.

Krillin: Anyway. HEY! I do NOT have a small wang! My wang is of adequate size!

Everyone but Krillin: O.o

Krillin: What? My wang is big enough to keep an android satisfied, why are you doubting me?

Yamcha: We're not! Just...please stop talking about your wang.

Krillin: (flushes)

Tien: AHHH!!! (cowers behind Chiaotzu) Don't hurt me! Save me, Chiaotzu!

Chiaotzu: Uh...boo?

Lunch: Ahh!! A mime! (disappears through hole in ceiling)

Tien: Oh thank Kami for that. My life flashed before my eyes. (falls backwards)

Chiaotzu: There, there, Tien. (pats Tien's arm) No, it's not face paint. My skin is naturally really pale. And my cheeks are naturally this rosy red. Not fair, is it? I was born looking like a clown. My parents thought the doctor was playing a joke on them at first.

Krillin: (laughs)

Yamcha: I wasn't cheating on Bulma! I told her a thousand times, that busty blonde had a heart attack and keeled over on my sofa! I was giving her CPR! My pants were restricting so I had to remove them!

Piccolo: (twitches) Please...stop.

King Vegeta: (splutters as he falls to the ground clutching his wounded pride) Argh...my...ego...

Tien: Aren't you going to help him?

Satay: No. He deserves it. He gave Vegeta away to Frieza.

Everyone but Satay and King Vegeta who is still on the floor: (slowly) Right...

Satay: Anyway, moving onto question five! YAY! Ahem:

**Dragonballgeek101...**

Yamcha: Oh no! I remember her!!!

Satay: As I was saying...

**Dragonballgeek101 asks:**

**OMG! SWEET!**

**Yamcha: ur lucky Kingy is here for dis chapter. I'll beat him wit my mallet. So, ur off the hook... for now -.-**

**Tein: What do u think of TRunks?**

**Pie: Ur so small and cute! But, U still dont add up to Veggie and Raditz when they were 4 and 5. BUT UR STILL KAWAII!**

**Dende: (shanks hands with the cute Nakek) UR SO KAWAII!**

**Piccolo: so, ur not a male?**

**Satay: Ok, Kingy here is going to Very hurt this chapter for giving cut lil Getii away to lipstick man Frieza...**

**ex-Kingy: (bashes on da head with a mallet the size of planet Vegeta) HOW DARE U GIVE cute lil Getii AWAY TO THE GAY LIPSTICK-MAN FRIEZA! I'LL LIKK U! (bashes on da head a milloin more times)**

**Everyone: Yes, I am Vegeta obsessed. But, HE'S SO HOT! U really cant blame me. But, kingy here looks like Getii-chan, BUT HES UGLYER THEN YAMCHA!**

Yamcha: Oh thank Kami! Praise to all that is holy!!!

Tien: Trunks? I've got nothing against Trunks. Trunks from the future was much nicer than Chibi Trunks. He was awesome. Chibi Trunks is kinda spoiled.

Chiaotzu: Thanks?

Satay: Hehe...I almost called him Pie (grins)

Dende: Thanks .

Piccolo: (sighs angrily) Why did you bring me here? All they do is insult me!

Satay: Aww...don't worry, I still love you.

Piccolo: That is of little comfort. (groans) Alright, I'll answer the question. Humans had classified that the entire Namek race is male despite the fact we don't have...certain appendages... I am considered a male, because I am not a female, basically.

Satay: Right... Anyway, thanks! He deserves the pain!!!

King Vegeta: AH! Save me, my Saiyan warriors!

Satay: Uh...King Vegeta? Hate to burst your bubble, but they're all dead.

King Vegeta: Dead!?! NOOOO!!! (collapses under the force the blows from mallet)

Satay: Heh-heh-heh. Take that, King Vegeta.

Yamcha: I'm not ugly... (pouts) All they do is insult me too, can I go home?

Satay: There, there, Yamcha.

Yamcha: (sniffles)

Satay: Moving onto question six! Ahem:

**Tien Shenhan asks:**

**Tien Shenhan: What was it like training under Mercenary Toa? Despite the fact that he was and probobly still is an assassin, he was your first teacher. Did you and him ever try to patch things up after the debacle that occured between the two of you at the World Martial Arts Tournament or was he too hard-headed for that? (Tien gets broiled Lobster with shrimp)**

**Satay: I want to ask Mercenary Toa and Master Crane questions.**

**Choatzu: Both you and Tien have massive mental powers. It is said that the human mind only uses about 10 of its' full capacity. Considering that you both trained under King Kai, if you and Tien somehow unlocked whatever was left of your brains' full potential could you display a KaoKen attack rivaling or even surpassing that of Goku's? The KaoKen attack really is about the mind. It's just a thought. If anyone can do it you can. (Choatzu gets large pepperoni pizza)**

**To Everyboy except the Nameks: Have any of you ever thought about training a new generation of Z warriors? Seriously! Goku isn't going to be around forever and neither are any of you. You have to plan ahead for when that day comes. Take on some students. You all know how to fight better than any of the teachers who trained you so teaching can't be that hard.**

**Dende: When was the last time a non-alien held the position of gaurdian? Considering that Mr. Popo has been around for thousands of years, surely you've heard stories about past Gods that he has served under. (Dende gets flavoured spring water.)**

Satay: I like this person; he sends long and good questions.

Tien: And good food! I love seafood! (grins) Hmm...training under Tao Pai Pai... It was very hard, certainly. He was an unforgiving tutor. Plus he taught me and Chiaotzu the Ki-ko-ho, which is apparently forbidden to teach. He's not an assassin anymore, because I made sure of it. He's living in a monastery high up in the mountains. (smirks) And no, we didn't patch things up. I forgave him for what he did to Chiaotzu, but he didn't forgive me for beating him so easily. He was pretty royally pissed...

Satay: Sure, I'll bring them in for a brief guest appearance, because I don't think they'll like staying around Tien for very long...

Chiaotzu: Tien and I have trained very hard to unlock our brains' full potential. It involves a lot of mental sparring, and we're really close to breaking the final boundary. Once we cross that boundary we're sure we'll be able to do a Kaio-Ken that rivals Goku's. I'm certain of it (grins) Thanks for the pizza...I haven't had pepperoni for ages! (takes a huge bite)

Krillin: We're all kinda busy doing other stuff. I'm helping 18 raise Marron, Yamcha's busy focusing on his sports.

Tien: Chiaotzu and I are working to break that mental barrier.

Yamcha: Yeah... Hopefully Marron turns out a really strong fighter, so we'll have another generation to protect us.

Piccolo: Well, her, Trunks, Goten, Pan, Gohan and Videl. That's quite a formidable group.

Tien: True...

Satay: I wouldn't want to invade. Thank Kami all you are protecting me.

Dende: (thinking) The last time a human (I assume that's what you mean when you say 'non-alien') was the Guardian of Earth was about two thousand years ago. He was a monk who actually achieved Nirvana, and gained wide insight. Mr Popo told me that although his reign was the shortest, he was one of the most innovative Guardians Earth has had. After that there's been Guardians from a small scholarly planet. He never told me the name... Then Kami came and took over, then I took over after Piccolo fused with him. Thank you for the water, it's very nice. (takes a sip) Do you want some, Piccolo?

Piccolo: (still pinching the bridge of his nose) No thank you.

Dende: (shrugs) Your loss. (takes another sip)

Satay: Alright, these were all the questions that were in my inbox when I woke up this morning, so now I'm going to assume that there are more when I get home. As such, here is question seven! Ahem:

Chiaotzu: Wait a second...what are we meant to do while you wait for school to be over?

King Vegeta: Uggghhhh...

Satay: Quiet, you! (nudges King Vegeta with foot) Anyway, nothing really. It'll be like no time at all has passed. That's why I can say something like 'here is question seven', and it will only seem like a second before I'm writing it down. (grins)

Yamcha: Alright, lets test it then.

Satay: Deal. Without further ado, here is question seven. Ahem:

**Radiza-Saiyajin-Goddes...**

Yamcha: Wow...that was quick...

Satay: And yet three hours have passed. How extraordinary. Anyway:

**Radiza-Saiyajin-Goddes asks:**

**King Vegeta: (hits him with the shovel) YOU WERE MEAN TO VEGETA! Just so you know, I'm keeping your son for my own Q&A, and he hates you with a deep unfathomable passion.**

**Yamcha: Where did you get the scars? I've been trying to figure that out...**

**Tien: Are you human, ya know, because of the third eye and all...**

**Chiatzu: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SPELL YOUR NAME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!**

**Piccolo: Do you fell like crap because your weaker then the saiyans?I feel bad for you, surrounded by asstards**

**Krillin: About what I said later, your the least asstardish of all the asstards. How do you fell about your daughter dating Trunks?**

King Vegeta: Why does no one like me? Maybe I had a good reason! Did anyone consider that!?!?!

Satay: No. Did you?

King Vegeta: Well...no... Tell him I hate him too. (under his breath) Squalling brat!

Yamcha: I got into a lot of street fights between when Goku parted ways with us and when we met up again. Some of those guys like to cheat. (frowns) I always kicked their arse though (grins)

Tien: I'm human. I don't think that I'm part of Guldo's race after all...he's too ugly to be related to me. (grins winningly)

Satay: (melts)

Tien: Note to self, do NOT do that again.

Chiaotzu: I don't mind how it's spelt.

Satay: (whispers into his ear)

Chiaotzu: But I apparently like it with an 'O' between the 'A' and 'T'. (gives weird look to Satay)

Piccolo: No, because I'm stronger than everyone else. And thank you for your sympathy. Finally someone who appreciates my pain.

Krillin: Yes! I'm the least asstardish of the asstards! Score! Marron is free to date who she wants to date, but they have to pass my test first. Trunks passed, but only just. (shakes fist threateningly)

Yamcha; Krillin, that's a little weird...

Krillin: Sorry.

Satay: Alright, now onto question eight:

**Goldenfightergirl asks:**

**Hey King Vegeta I think that your future grandson is hot!! (Mirai Trunks not GT Trunks) Krillin how does it feel to be middle age? And have some spaghetti. Yamcha, I hate you, end of story you pathetic earthling. (Kills yamcha) Mwuahahahahaha! Tien and Chiaotzu uhh... have some BBQ. Dende how old are you cause I forgot. And Piccolo, how do you feel being named after a flute? Water for the Nameks! Satay you can have some chocolate chip cookies. Oh and Mirai is my mate! No other fan is to be near him got it?! (turns super Saiyan and kills all unworthy people near trunks.)**

**oh and before i for get Piccolo can you sing the Pickle song for me? (Son Puppy eyes)!**

King Vegeta: Grandson? When did this happen?

Satay: About 8 years ago. (holds up a picture of Vegeta holding crying Chibi Trunks) Doesn't look very happy, does he?

King Vegeta: This isn't my grandson! He had purple hair! Eww!!!

Satay: That's what happens when a Saiyan with black hair marries a human with blue hair. (shrugs)

King Vegeta: Married a...human? (retches)

Krillin: Oh it's great! I love it! I don't have to worry so much about saving the world anymore, coz there are young fighters to do it for me! It's great! And thanks! I love spaghetti!

Yamcha: Well...that sucks... (dies)

Satay: Now, that won't do. People want to ask him questions. (reluctantly performs CPR on Yamcha) Ew... I'm gonna have that taste in my mouth for ages... Gross...

Yamcha: Thanks.

Satay: Don't talk...please.

Tien and Chiaotzu: Sausages! YAY!!! (leaps on BBQ)

Dende: Uh... Right now I'm about 14.

Satay: (whispered) I'm sorry, I don't know much about GT, so this is set at the end of DBZ...sorry, should have said earlier.

Dende: What was that?

Satay: Nothing!

Dende: Uh...anyway. Thanks for the water.

Piccolo: I'm not named after a flute, dammit! Piccolo means 'other world'! Stupid coincidental languages. (grumbles angrily under his breath) But thank you for the water, I guess.

Satay: YAY! Chocolate chip cookies! That will take the taste of Yamcha from my mouth! Thank you :D:D:D

Piccolo: (becoming slowly more angry) No, I will not sing the Pickle song. Those Son cute tricks don't work on me, either. Goku, Gohan and Goten would walk all over me if it did.

Satay: Right, before Piccolo explodes and sends us all to the Other World, let's move onto question nine:

**Anime Fan18.0**

**Hm...this is interesting! Okay,...questions...hm...OH, I KNOW!**

**Piccolo: How did you arrive on earth? I don't think they mentioned it in the early DBZ episodes (If so, I was about...6 or 7 when I last saw them) or in DB (Which I have BARELY seen at all!).**

**Tien: So...you're human? What was your father? Also, someone else who had an "alternate" Q/A fic who "has" you gues (his version stinks) said your great, great, great, great...well, ONE of your ancestors was an alien!**

**Krillin: Used to, you would wet your pants at the sight of Piccolo (My third favourite character! He's just so cool!). So now that he's a good guy, how do you feel about him? Also, you said that you didn't get your body in Other World when Frieza killed you. But when Buu killed you, you where on Grand Kai's planet with all the other heroes! Care to explain? (Scratches head)**

**Yamcha: WIMP! Haha, just kidding, you're not that bad...you just got lazy and wouldn't train. At least, that's what Krillin said in Other world after you went to Grand Kai's planet. ANYWAY, if it makes you feel better, I like to torture Veg-head (Vegeta) in another Q/A fic.**

**Dende: Yeah, um, why was it when Gohan was a teenager during the Buu Saga you were still kid-sized? THEN, in GT you're Piccolo's size?.?**

**King Veg-head: Well, I like to torture your son in anothre Q/A fic (Ask Goku and Vegeta), so I guess I can torture you too! (Grins evily) What happened to your wife? I'll torture you once I figure out just exactly WHAT would annoy you! (Frowns in disappointment)**

**Satay: Nice fic you've got going here! Unfortunately, the other fic, called "Ask the minors" was posted before yours. (WAH! AND HIS IS NO GOOD!) But, I don't think that'll be a problem!**

**For everybody: Here are some Ten course dinners made by the best chiefs in Frabce with ten bottles of Vodka! Only King Veg-head can't tough it, otherwise...HE BLOWS UP! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

Piccolo: I, or rather my sire, arrived on Earth as a Namekian child in a Namekian spaceship. His parents sent him to Earth to protect him against some danger, and he crash-landed on Earth. He grew up, split into Kami and Piccolo Daimao and yatta yatta yatta, blah blah blah, the exciting story of my birth.

Tien: Yes, I'm human :D And I always have been. I'm just a super evolved form of human because I've got three eyes. It's awesome! (grins)

Krillin: I didn't wet my pants! I'm not that weak! Never have been!!! He's still kind of scary though. He makes me nervous sometimes.

Piccolo: (glares at Krillin)

Krillin: Like now... oh yeah, when Frieza killed me he kind of...vaporised me. No body left to keep. But when Buu killed me he just turned me into a piece of chocolate. Since my body still existed in some kind of corporal form (despite this form being some chocolate sludge in a monster's digestive system), I got to keep my body that time! It was much better than being a cloud. (grins)

Yamcha: (cowers) Don't hurt me! Oh, right. I didn't get lazy, I just didn't see the point, ya know? I'm never going to be stronger than the Saiyans.

Tien: But you still could've tried!

Yamcha: Alright, I got lazy. Alright? Thank you, finally, someone's on my side!

Dende: I grew up. I went through that stage from a chibi-Namek to an adult-Namek. It happened over the course of a few months. It was scary, waking up and suddenly being tall.

King Vegeta: You torture my son? Well done...wait...you're going to torture me!?! Don't do that! I'm the king! I will execute you!!!

Satay: Can't do that here, Kingy-baby.

King Vegeta: (twitch) Don't call me 'Kingy-baby'.

Satay: Wow! I can really see the resemblance!

King Vegeta: Anyway, I assume my wife is still on Planet Vegeta.

Satay: Oh...yeah...shoulda told ya sooner, but Planet Vegeta was destroyed by Frieza not long after you died.

King Vegeta: WHAT!?! Oh, then she's dead. Shame that...she was a demon in the sack (chuckles)

Satay: Eww...gross.

Yamcha: I agree.

Everyone except Nameks, King Vegeta and Satay: (dive on food)

Satay: Thanks, I think that's going to keep them busy for a while. By the way, I have an arrangement with the author of the other one. As soon as I got the email saying it was ok, I posted the first chapter :D:D:D

King Vegeta: Can't I have just a little –

Satay: NO! Hands off! (slaps King Vegeta's hand away from the food) Hehe...that was fun.

King Vegeta: (pouts)

Satay: You know, that's only cute when Vegeta does it because he doesn't have the beard.

King Vegeta: Dang...

Satay: Anyway, thank you all for the reviews. Send in some more! I'd love to ask these guys more questions, and feel free to ask them embarrassing questions about their personal life. Take The Ultimate Saiyan's question to Krillin as an example (winks). I would also like everyone to welcome our new, short-time guests: Tao Pai Pai the ex-assassin, and Master Crane!! (golf-claps)

(Hole opens in wall and Tao Pai Pai and Master Crane catapult directly into my closet)

Tao Pai Pai: Oh, this isn't good.

Master Crane: Is that…Tien?

Tien: (sarcastically) Good day, Master. How are you today?

Master Crane: You traitor! And that little squirt Chiaotzu! Curse you both!!!

Satay: That's it, you stay in the closet. (random barrier comes up preventing Tao Pai Pai and Master Crane from escaping the closet). If any of the reviewers have any questions for Tao Pai Pai or Master Crane, please feel free to ask. Who knows, they might even prove to be popular. I doubt it though.

Master Crane: (pokes out tongue at Tien and Chiaotzu)

Tien: (death glare at Master Crane)

Chiaotzu: Oh…this is going to be funny…

Satay: Anyway, send in your reviews! See you soon!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Satay: Chapter four, already. Sorry it took so long… Geez, this is gonna be like building the Sphinx, I just know it.

Krillin: Uh...

Satay: I mean it's gonna be a big job. I mean, just look at the last chapter. 12 pages! In size 9 font! That's pretty extreme. But thank you! I love you all! (blows kisses to the reviewers) Platonically of course.

Everyone but Satay: O.o"

Tao Pai Pai: Let me out...

Satay: No. Onto question one! Ahem:

**Dragonballgeek 101 asks:**

**Yamcha: DIE U CHEATING BASTURED!**

**Pie: y do u look like a damn mine?**

**Kingy baby: HOW DARE U SAY U HATE VEGGIE! HE IS SO KAWAII! infact, i can get him talking 2 u. Vegeta: UR MEAN! Me: (bashes on head wit BIG mallet) hehe its fun hurting the two bastureds...**

**Tein: y did u want to kill Goku when u were younger?**

**Krillin: R u stronger then Master Rosie?**

**Satay: YA! More people to torture!**

**Crane person: UR GAY UR GAY! Y r u gay?**

**Tao Pai Pai: same as above**

**Dende: hes some water**

**Piccolo: ur one of da best people in da show!**

Yamcha: No! I don't want to die again!

Satay: I don't want you to die again either, Yamcha. CPR on you is not an experience I want to become a regular occurrence. It's just...gross.

Chiaotzu: Like I said, I was born this way. It can be either cute or weird. I prefer cute (grins)

King Vegeta: (twitch) Don't call me 'Kingy baby'! I am not here for your amusement!

Satay: Actually, you are.

King Vegeta: Damn... Alright then. Vegeta, my wretched human-loving son, is, and always was, ANNOYING! And stop hitting me! It hurts (pout)

Satay: We've discussed the pouting, Kingy.

King Vegeta: I can't eat, I can't pout, I can't execute people... What the hell can I do?!?

Satay: Answer questions and get hit by a mallet.

King Vegeta: Double damn...

Tien: I wanted to kill him first because he was a rival student. And trust me, that's a big deal when that freak (points towards Crane Master) is your sensei. Then I wanted to kill him because he killed _that_ freak (points to Tao Pai Pai) and I wanted revenge. Then I didn't want to kill him. Simple really.

Crane Master: I am _not_ a freak!

Tao Pai Pai: Me neither!

Satay: (rolls eyes) I'm glad they're stuck in the cupboard.

Krillin: I'm way stronger than Master Roshi now! I think everyone is. Except maybe those two (points towards closet)

Satay: I knew they'd be used mainly for torture. That's why I put them in the closet, so they couldn't run away (winks)

Crane Master: I am not gay! Why do people keep saying that!?!

Tao Pai Pai: Just because I care how I dress doesn't make me gay. I've killed more people than you'll ever meet, so don't cross me.

Satay: (snickers) Yeah, and Tien beat you in one hit.

Tao Pai Pai: Shut up!

Tien: cough-gay!-cough

Crane Master: You'll pay for this, Tienshinhan!

Satay: Yeah, you'll have to come out of the closet first, Crane boy.

Yamcha: Oh, well placed gay joke there.

Satay: Yes, it was rather strategic, wasn't it? I'm quite proud. Anyway, moving on. Dende? Your response?

Dende: Thank you for the water. (grins)

Piccolo: Thank you for the support. I'm glad someone out there actually appreciates me.

Satay: I appreciate you, Piccolo.

Piccolo: I'm glad someone _else_ appreciates me.

Satay: (staring at Piccolo with those little anime love-heart-pupils)

Piccolo: Ugh.

Tien: (nudges Satay)

Satay: (turns to Tien with same pupils)

Krillin: This is gonna take forever (slaps himself in the forehead)

Satay: (blinks and shakes head) Sorry, lost myself in one of those romantic fantasies for a moment. (flushes) Onto question two! Ahem:

**Maric asks:**

**King Vegeta: Which one of your lovely grandchildren will become the new ruler of Neo Earth-Vegeta?**

**Piccolo: Would you ever fight a matured classy female fighter? Who knows, she might find you attractive.**

**Krillen: What would you do if Marron ever learned your Distructo Disc all by herself?**

King Vegeta: I have more than one!?!

Satay: Yeah, about that... Here's a picture of your son with his beautiful little daughter Bra.

King Vegeta: A DAUGHTER!?! Jesus Christ! This is awful! She looks so human! GROSS!

Satay: Answer the question, Kingy.

King Vegeta: None of them...me! I will be the new ruler!

Satay: Remember, Kingy, you're dead.

King Vegeta: Oh...yeah... DAMN!

Piccolo: I wouldn't mind fighting a mature classy female fighter, but if she _did_ consider me attractive I would have to blast her.

Satay: Why?!?

Piccolo: Because people who find me attractive follow me everywhere and I would not get a moment's peace.

Satay: Oh...right.

Krillin: I would alternate between being proud and scared. Marron has this thing where when she learns an attack she has to practise it again and again...and I do love her, but her aim isn't very good.

Satay: Well, that sucks. Anyway, onto question three:

**ss talos asks:**

**this is doing much better than my story. so keep up the good work.**

**dende here is somone you have not seen for a while porunga!**

**porunga: get me out of here!**

**me: no any way tien your great to the times of 10 granfather was a member of guldos race i checked it up! also guldo is your second cousin! also i have descoverd an eightth dragon ball. it summons golden shenron who was the dragon of planet vigeta!**

**if anyone wants to say hello to themselvs say it now.**

**tien: listion i think i can get you guys out i will be back soon with more info.**

**me: what?**

**tien: nothing.**

Dende: Hi, Porunga! How is Planet Neo-Namek? Is the elder doing okay?

Tien: NOO!!!! Wait...if my great times ten grandfather was a member of Guldo's race, and my great times ten grandmother was a human, how the hell did they get together long enough to conceive my great times nine grandfather? I mean, Guldo's race is SERIOUSLY ugly. And it wouldn't work out to him being my second cousin either... My grandfather would have to be Guldo's race for that to work... Oh, thank god I found holes in that argument. You scared me for a minute there.

Dende: There is no eighth dragon ball.

Piccolo: Kami only made seven.

King Vegeta: AND WE HAVE NO DRAGONS ON PLANET VEGETA!!!

Satay: Had.

King Vegeta: What?

Satay: You _had_ no dragons on Planet Vegeta. Past tense. No planet any more. Remember?

King Vegeta: Damn.

Krillin: Hi, me! Are you getting good food? I am (pokes tongue out) Nya!

Tien: A way out? Of this bedroom? Really!?!

Satay: No chance. I've made it so escape is impossible.

Yamcha: How?

Satay: (evilly) I put shutters on the window! (evil laugh) Anyway, onto question four:

**watergoddesskasey asks:**

**hey! you know why everyone is mean to you piccolo? ITS CAUSE YOUR GREEN! GREEN WITH ENVY MUHAHAHA! besides blue is better then green any day! Why is your blood purple? green and purple...wait a min...YOUR RELATED TO BARNEY ARENT YOU?!?!? ah!**

**i dont care what anyone says i used to have the hots for Yamacha...till he got OLD that is! buhaha!hey did you ever get that tooth back you got knocked out of you in that one episode? cause you looked like a hillbilly...**

**king veggie/man/monkey/cannibal**

**do you throw your poop at people like a monkey? (throws banana) dance monkey dance!**

Piccolo: (twitch) I will kill you.

Satay: BE NICE!!!

Piccolo: (twitch) My blood is purple because ALL NAMEKS HAVE PURPLE BLOOD!!!! I AM NOT RELATED TO THAT BASTARD OF A DINOSAUR!!! I WILL DESTROY IT!!!

Dende: Crap.

Piccolo: (breaks off in mid-rant) Dende, did you just swear?

Dende: ... No...

Piccolo: O.O Dende swore...he must really hate it when I'm angry...

Dende: Yeah...

Yamcha: Yes I got my tooth back. Stupid Goku...knocking my tooth out. My attraction instantly went down two points.

Satay: You measure your hotness on a scale?

Yamcha: Yes, doesn't everyone?

Tien: No...god no...

King Vegeta: Poop? What is poop?

Satay: Oh god, I don't want to explain it to him. Someone else do it.

Yamcha: Poop is the stuff that comes outta your arse.

Satay: (sarcastically) Thank you, Yamcha, for that very eloquent and scientific explanation.

Yamcha: You're welcome (grins)

King Vegeta: NO I DON'T THROW POOP AT PEOPLE! I AM NOT A PRIMATE!!! Why is it because I have a tail people automatically link me to a monkey?

Satay: I think the fact that you turn into a monkey when you look at the full moon helps.

King Vegeta: ... That's beside the point! And I shall not dance! I didn't even dance at my bonding ceremony! Why would I dance now!?!

Satay: Hehe... Stupid monkey. Now to question five:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**Yamcha:Stupid lazy ass bastard. (Kicks in baby maker so hard they start to bleed)**

**Piccolo:I KNOW IT'S TRUE! (Hold up a picture of Gohan and Piccolo doing...things...)**

**Dende:Nice work protecting Earth! (Gives pie)**

**Tien:You chicken.Your afraid of a girl! (Puts him in a jean skirt that barely covers his ass) I shall call you...ASHLEY!**

**Krillin:Is 18 demanding in bed? (Gives a steak)**

**Chiaotzu:You should grow you hair out. (Gives soda)**

**King Vegeta:USELESS RETARD! (Kicks in Baby maker 3 times VERY Hard)**

**Tao Pai Pai:Idiot. (Kills)**

**Master Crane:Piece of crap. (Destroys)**

**Satay:From now on Tien is Ashley!**

Yamcha: (high-pitched) Ow... (falls off toy-box) That...really...hurt...

Satay: Here's a cloth (tosses old t-shirt) Wipe up that blood. That stuff stains!

Piccolo: (twitch) That photo is not possible for several reasons. One: I do not have that particular body part. Two: I have no libido. Three: Gohan hasn't had his tail for years now, how could he have it in this picture? Four: I have three fingers, not four.

Krillin: Well, that image will stay with me forever.

Yamcha: Yeah, no matter how fake that picture is, Piccolo, it looks really damned convincing.

Tien: I'm impressed you managed to notice a detail like the number of fingers on your hands, or the fact Gohan has a tail.

Piccolo: How could I not notice he has a tail in this picture? Look what he's doing with it!

Chiaotzu: (thoughtfully) Such dexterity. I never knew you were so flexible, Piccolo.

Piccolo: (pinches bridge of his nose) Ugh. Stop...talking.

Dende: Thank you! It's hard, but I wouldn't want to do anything else. (gives pie to Chiaotzu)

Chiaotzu: (grins)

Tien: AH! How did you do that without me standing up!?!?!

Piccolo: Ugh...that makes me feel sick...and I don't even have anything in my stomach to regurgitate. (points at Tien. His clothes materialize back)

Tien: How did you do that!?!

Piccolo: I have magical powers.

Tien: Well...that skirt was quite comfortable really.

Yamcha: Stop right there!

Tien: (mumbles under breath)

Krillin: (turns bright pink) Sometimes.

Satay: You have to elaborate, Krillin, otherwise the readers won't be satisfied.

Krillin: (sighs) Fine. Does it suffice to say that sometimes she's the man?

Everyone but Krillin: O.o"

Satay: ... Yes...it does.

Krillin: Good. (looks shameful)

Chiaotzu: Thanks for the soda! I tried growing my hair out once, but it didn't work. Due to some kind of weird genetic thing, I only have one hair. It's embarrassing when it's long, easy to hide when it's short. Simple enough.

King Vegeta: GACK! (collapses to floor again) MY...DIGNITY!!! OWWWWW!!!

Satay: (snickers)

Tao Pai Pai: Shit (dies)

Crane Master: I concur (dies)

Satay: No way in hell am I performing CPR on them. Dende, could you?

Dende: (sighs) Fine. (resurrects them)

Krillin: I didn't know you could do that, Dende!

Dende: Only when the people are really freshly dead. Like only just killed. Give it thirty seconds and I can't do a thing about it.

Krillin: Damn...that would have been a cool thing to have.

Tao Pai Pai: Death sucked even more the second time.

Crane Master: (shuddering) I never want to die.

Satay: Well, now that that's taken care of, let's continue onto question six:

**Holly EverGreen asks:**

**Okay i just have one Question for piccolo**

**the pink spots on your arms what are they? do your muscles not have skin on them or what?**

Piccolo: (studies his arms) They are simply variations in pigmentation used to highlight and compliment the muscle area. Nothing to it. Thank you for your logical question.

Satay: Alright, onto question seven:

**Kumori Ookami asks:**

**Glad I found this-it's good!**

**Tien and Chiaotzu: Are u 2 gay...together?**

**Krillin: I always thought that u were the strongest human Z fighter. Anyway, would u mind if Goten dated Marron? Oh! I read some fanfics with Yamcha and ur daughter, wat do u think about that?**

**Hi Mr. Piccolo! (waves) Have u ever once wished that u weren't asexual?**

**Yamcha: U should consider urself lucky, if I were Bulma and I found u cheating on me then I'd make u genderless, count ur lucky stars bastard...but finding a silver-lining! I have u to thank bcuz then Trunks wouldn't have ben borm, so thanks for being a man-whore! (grins and waves)**

**See ya!**

Tien and Chiaotzu: No.

Tien: He's like my little brother, you know?

Chiaotzu: That would be creepy...

Krillin: Thanks. I honestly couldn't say, though. I wouldn't mind if Goten dated Marron, but Yamcha can stay the hell away from my daughter! (angry glare)

Yamcha: I didn't even do anything! Jeez!

Piccolo: No, I haven't. I don't care for sex. It seems to complicate things.

Yamcha: I have counted them. There are seventeen. They're very pretty. And I was never a man-whore! If I recall correctly I have never been paid for my services!

Everyone: (stares at Yamcha)

Yamcha: Oh...wait...

Satay: Moving on (stares at Yamcha) to question eight:

**Anime Fan18.0 asks:**

**Cool! This was a good chapter! Questions, questions, whose got the questions? ME, thats who! Haha! (Random hand slaps Anime Fan18.0) OW! ANYWAY...**

**Piccolo: So...how old are you? Also, how old can a Namekian live?**

**Krillin: Okay, I get it (I guess). No questions this time, but hang in there.**

**Tien: I'm sure you'd like to pick a bone with Master Crane. So... (Releaes Master Crane) Have fun! OH, and if anyone else tries to stop him, you all will blow up.**

**Chiaotzu: Have you ever tried to enter a cooking contest? I'm sure you'd win!**

**Dende: Who made the blackstar Dragonballs?**

**Yamacha: No question for you neither. Sorry.**

**King-Veghead: If your own son had been born with the kind of power Brolly possesed, would you have tried to get rid of him like you did Brolly? Also, don't know if your as scared of worms as your son, so... (Brings in worms from Buu's stomach and increaes their size ten thousand fold) Have fun! (Grins)**

**Satay: I think ya got enough characters here. Maybe you should stop bringing in more characters: ya' keep this up and there won't be anymore for other people to use! Reusing the same characters can be confusing too, because one author makes a character say one thing, and ten more say something diffrent!**

**Now, the most delicious foods imaginable shall rain from the heavens with bottles of any drink you can imagine! This time, King-Veghead can have some, but not Genreal Toi or Master Crane! Seeya!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

Piccolo: I'm 26. And since Nameks can live for hundreds of years, I don't think I'm quite ready to have a kid yet.

Tien: Heh-heh-heh. I'm gonna enjoy this... (chases Master Crane, tackles him and quickly beats him to a pulp)

Chiaotzu: Tien, that's enough.

Tien: Alright, Chiaotzu. That's all... (tosses Master Crane back into closet) I did enjoy that though, thanks.

Chiaotzu: No, I haven't. Do you really think so? I think I will then (grins)

Dende: Some annoying little Namek who wanted to create a name for himself. Unfortunately, he gained nothing but making his name forbidden to be spoken. Funny that.

King Vegeta: Yes, I would have. I would have been proud if he was strong, but not that bloody strong. (eyes widen at sight of worm) Oh...dear...sweet...Jesus... (screams like a girl and runs away from room)

Yamcha: Maybe we should do something...

Satay: Nah, let's watch him suffer for a bit more.

King Vegeta: (hanging off the fan) I don't like worms...

Satay: Yeah, I know. Those weirdos (points to Crane Master and Tao Pai Pai) are only here for the short-term though. They'll be going home soon, I think.

Yamcha: Thanks for the grub!

Piccolo: (holding up a bottle of tequila) Thanks for the booze.

Satay: Piccolo! (snatches bottle away) Shame on you. (tucks it into pocket) Now, onto question nine:

**Goldenfightergirl asks:**

**Yeah! another question. Man, everybody is mean to King Vegeta. So I'm being sympathetic. Here some food (random saiyan food) but its human size! hahahaha! Anyways I brought my mate with me Mirai Trunks (future trunks not the present time one.) He wants to see everybody again. "Hi guys nice to see you all again." so Tien and Chiaotzu if you had the chance to torture the Crane idiot and his brother the girly man would you? Krillen before you ever met 18 did you ever get it on with your other girlfriends in bed? Dende uh...(thinking, thinking Oh!) how come in some fanfics alot of people who like to torture their cast always have you drunks and pulling pranks on the saiyans. (especially Gohan)? And Mr. "other world" since you didn't sing the pickle song you face with the consenquences (changes Piccolo the Namek into Piccolo the Human!) Now all of your girl fans will gomp you Muahahahahaha! Oh and Yamcha I'm killing you again. (Turns super saiyan and blast him to kindom come with no body left to do cpr. and you can't bring him back with the dragonballs Earth or Namek) sweat dropped "Honey, I think you'd been spending to much time with my father." (Picks Goldenfightergirl bridal style and leaves through the portal in the roof.)**

**Tien and Chiaotzu: more bbq**

**Dende: pina cola**

**Pickle:water**

**Satay: BROWNIES!**

**Krillen:orange chicken!**

**Crain idiot and girly man: sent to kingdom come with yamcha hahaha!**

King Vegeta: (gulps food) Mm... That was a delicious appetiser. Now, where is the main meal? (silence) Damn...

Satay: Hey, Trunks.

Everyone except King Vegeta: (assorted greetings to Trunks)

King Vegeta: Wait...he looks like the boy from the...

Satay: Yep, he's your grandson from the future.

King Vegeta: (stares at Trunks) Eww...he's more gross up close.

Satay: Kingy! How rude! (slaps upside the head)

Tien: Yes, I would...

Chiaotzu: But not too much...

Tien: Yes...too much.

Krillin: Yes...I slept with Marron (my ex-girlfriend, not my daughter) a few times...but 18 is by far the best lay I've ever had.

Dende: Uh... (flushes) Well... You see, because Nameks can get drunk...we sometimes do... And when I get drunk I like to play pranks on people... I've never played one on a Saiyan though, only on Piccolo.

Piccolo: (grumbles) I cannot be human...

Satay: (melts)

Piccolo: That's one very good reason why not. Dende! Turn me back!

Dende: Uh...I'll try.

Piccolo: (turns back into a Namek) (sighs) Thank you, Dende. I think I would have strangled everyone here if I was a human.

Satay: No...not again... We can't bring him back can we?

Dende: 15...14...13

Satay: That's right! Dende, bring him back! Quickly!!!

Dende: (sighs) Alright.

Yamcha: (pops back into life) Oh, thank you, Dende.

Satay: Please, no one kill Yamcha anymore... We'll run out of ways to bring him back...seriously... Now, onto what could sort of be considered question ten:

**Da FlAmE asks: (Well, doesn't really ask, but everyone deserves a chance, don't cha think?)**

**I have a few questions for Satay.**

**Did you know that script format is forbidden on Did you know that there are hundreds of this type of story? Did you know when this style of writing is used the author has 'jumped the shark'? Did you know that O.o" is the stupidest way to describe an emotion?**

**Seriously, I would much rather see an interveiw fic which had been written in third person. Script format is stupid and pointless to read. There are the sorts of stories that make authors abandon**

**Please, stop telling us was what the characters a feeling or the actions your doing. Show us. That's the point of writing, to show and not tell.**

**FlAmEd.**

Satay: (smiles congenially) Welcome to my fic, Da FlAmE. I have a few questions for you as well. Did you know that it's rude and rather strange to trail off in the middle of a sentence? Did you know that this has different characters, and I wrote for permission from each author? Did you know that for some people this type of fic is seen as a simple way to make friends and have fun? I would like to see an interview fic written in third person to. If you ever manage to write one, please write to me and let me know. And what do they make authors abandon? Sentences? Thoughts? Writing? I would really like to know, so get back to me on that.

Yamcha: Wow...this is intense.

Satay: Also, I would like to say one more thing to 'FlAmEd'... How annoyed to you have to be to take the time and effort to write something like this to a 16-year-old girl who just wants something fun to do after school? Seriously...you have my sympathy.

Tien: Mega intense.

Satay: Also, I would like to take the time to promote my new two series of one-shots. One is a non-related series called 'Platonic Love'. It's so much harder to write fatherly love, brotherly love, best-friendy love, than to write romance love. The second is a series of interrelated one-shots called 'Of Triclops and Telepaths' about Tien and Chiaotzu's life. I've been mainly writing them between the hours of 10 and 12 pm, so be kind. (mutters under breath) 'jumped the shark', my arse!

Piccolo: Right... Do you want to move onto question eleven?

Satay: Yes, yes I do. Ahem:

**Tien Shenhan asks:**

**Master Crane and Toa Pai-Pai: Will you ever take on anymore students? I believe that it is important that at least some alternative school of thought exists. Otherwise, the school of the Turtle Hermit would have a virtual monopoly on the fighting world? (Both men get soft drinks.)**

**Toa Pai-Pai: You are my third favorite character after Tien and Piccolo. Have you ever really stopped to count your blessings lately? Seriously! When you think about it, you are one of the luckiest people out there. No other bad guy who remained a bad guy has ever really fought Son Goku and got off as easy as you did. Everyone else who refused to become a good guy eventually was killed by Goku in battle (Although he did maim you). Also, you should feel lucky that you got paired with Tien instead of getting paired with King Piccolo When you fought in the World Martial Arts Tournament. At least Tien didn't want to see you hurt. Anyone else, especially Piccolo or maybe Goku, who would have tried to hurt you badly and would have succeeded. (Let's down barrier to release Mercenary Toa from closet and gives him spegetti and meatballs.)**

**Again Toa Pai-Pai: Aren't you at least a little proud that your old student Tien became as strong as he is? He stopped your Super Dodonpa with his breath for God's sake. And you know Tien never really trained under Master Roshi so where else do you think he got his style? It had to of been you!**

**Master Crane: Is it true that you and Master Roshi were the only survivors of Mutaiito's school of martial arts after your battle with King Piccolo? (Look out Master Shen! Piccolo is in the room with you!) What if it were discovered that there was one other survivor of the school? Would that mean that you and Master Roshi would have competition other than yourselves.**

**Everybody: You guys could make a fortune if you all went into the buisness of teaching new fighters.**

Master Crane: I have already taken on new students. They are very promising, though they don't show quite the same level of dedication as some of my...previous students (glares at Tien and Chiaotzu).

Tao Pai Pai: No, I've been retired...forcibly though it may be. Yes I am rather lucky in that respect, aren't I? I mean, look at Tien. He's become a wuss.

Tien: I beat you easily, old man!

Tao Pai Pai: I'M NOT OLD!

Tien: And I did want to hurt him! He almost killed Chiaotzu!!! I only didn't really hurt him because I know how to forgive.

Piccolo: That insect's life is of no consequence to me. I would have simply KO'd him and continued onto the next round.

Tien: Plus, Goku wouldn't have seriously wanted to hurt him either. When was the last time Goku wanted to seriously hurt _anyone_ who wasn't a real threat to him?

Tao Pai Pai: I would have been a threat to him!

Tien: (scoffs) Oh please. He'd have beaten you to a pulp with his eyes closed.

Tao Pai Pai: Thank you for releasing me. And thank you for the food.

Tien: Cough-freeloader-cough.

Tao Pai Pai: (glares at Tien) And I'm not in the least proud of my _ex_-student. He hasn't killed anyone in his life! He's a weakling!

Tien: You're pushing it...

Tao Pai Pai: He's become friends – friends of all things! – with people who are far below him. I mean, look at that! (points at Yamcha)

Yamcha: What?

Tao Pai Pai: Exactly.

Tien: I got my style from myself! Chiaotzu and I were training together before Master Crane started teaching us, and we trained afterwards! We have our own style, with their moves. (pouts)

Master Crane: If there was another student I would be VERY ANNOYED! No one at that school got along with anyone else, so it would just be another rival school to fight against. I wouldn't want that for anything!

Krillin: Yeah, but who wants a fortune? Who needs it? I'd rather settle down and help raise my kid than make lots of money.

Yamcha: I'd like to make lots of money...

Tien: (still pouting)

Chiaotzu: We don't want money either. (glances at Tien)

Tien: (nods)

Satay: Well, that's good. We now have a late entry, in the form of question twelve:

**Saiyaness28 asks:**

**I have so many questions!**

**Tien: Are you gay for chiaotzu?**

**Chiaotzu: (stares at him)…WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU!**

**Piccolo: I've noticed that no matter where Gohan is you always seem to rush in at the last minute to save him. Are you stalking him?**

**Dende:…I have nothing to say to you.**

**Krillin: Why don't you just stop fighting. Your pretty much useless anyway. (chuckles evily)**

**Yamcha: have you ever tried to seduce Bulma behind Vegeta's back? (he he)**

**And King Vegeta:**

**Its OK! I love you! I think that deep down you really loved your son, even if he did wine a lot. Let's not forget that you died trying to get Veggie back!**

**King Vegeta: Did you have an advisor who kept trying to seduce your wife?**

Tien: No! EW! Incest! …kinda…

Chiaotzu: I'm a human…I think. Not sure on that… I'm a telepath, I know that much for sure!

Piccolo: (pinches bridge of nose) I'm not stalking Gohan. It's not my fault I'm always there to save him when he inevitably gets into trouble.

Dende: Alright then…

Krillin: Because I like fighting (pout)

Yamcha: Once. Vegeta found out. Three words: Emergency Ball Retrieval. Enough said.

King Vegeta: Thank you, kind servant. Your loyalty shall not go unrewarded. And I did have an advisor who tried that once. And I vaporised him. Well, most of him. What was left was nailed up outside my palace as a warning.

Satay: (sarcastically) My, what a civilised society the Saiyans were.

King Vegeta: (silent pride)

Satay: We now reach the end of chapter four of Ask the Lesser Known Z Fighters. I would like everyone to say goodbye to Tao Pai Pai and Master Crane, because their brief cameo appearance is now over. (waves) Goodbye, Tao Pai Pai and Master Crane.

Tien: Bye, dickheads.

Tao Pai Pai: But I haven't finished my spaghetti!

Satay: Tough.

(Swirling portal of doom opens in the closet. Master Crane and Tao Pai Pai are sucked through instantly. Portal closes)

Chiaotzu: Why didn't that affect anyone else in the room?

Satay: Because it's only for bad guys.

King Vegeta: What about -?

Satay: Don't ask questions! Bad monkey! (slaps) Anyway, send in your reviews. I'm sorry once again for the delay (apologetic face)


	5. Chapter 5

Satay: Sorry!!! My memory stick died! (sniffles) so I had no way of getting all of your reviews onto the computer I actually do my writing on! We're back in business now, though, so no panic!! (grins)

Tien: What are you talking about?

Satay: Shh… It doesn't matter. All that matters is question one! Ahem:

Maric asks: 

King Vegeta: I know that the Saiyans are known for their eternal stregth and power. But are there saiyans that are cultered by science and art?

King Vegeta: Science? What the hell is science?

Yamcha: Smart people stuff.

King Vegeta: No, we didn't bother with that. The women were quite good at art, if I remember right. My wife did this glorious portrait of herself naked so I would remember her wherever I went. (wistful sigh) It was so hot…

Dende: Well…that's nice.

Tien: Are you going to suggest it to 18, Krillin?

Krillin: (blushes) NO!

Yamcha: Oh, you know you are.

Krillin: Shut up!

Satay: Moving on… Question two:

**jenn asks**

**So Satu are you,like,finnish.I am! So sorry for the spelling!**

**So..Don't you people know to show respect to Piccolo!He is the strongest person there. He and Dende get water or what was it vodga? boose anyway.**

**King Vegeta…what would you do if I would arange for you to be able to return to the past to the time before you gave Vegeta no Ouji to Frieza (most likely you were scared Frieza would destroy you and your planet (whitch he did))? You get a full cource? saiyan meal!**

**So Yamcha sorry to say but I hate Bulma 'cos of her terrible voice and shopping habbits…I think you should consontrate on you baseballcorrier, and why did you get lazy? You get coca-cola and pizza with what ever stuffing.**

**Krillin you are too much like my friend, well her personality is a mix of yours,Gokus,Gohans and she has a dirty mind…Dende help me! What is it like beeing a father?**

**Tien…your ok. Food for you and Chiaotzu and Krillin!Drinks too!**

**Piccolo I like you but I am no obsessed 'cos I think sex and love are needless. I would respect your peace of mind…could you be my martial arts sensei?**

**Food and drinks and and added kitchen,bathroom and livingroom to your bedroom for Satu!**

Satay: I'm half-Finnish, coz my mum is. I'm more English than Finnish, but I love Finland. It's so beautiful! I'm going there for New Years this year and I get to go to school! YAY! School in a country where I don't speak the language beyond 'Hei', 'Kiitos' and 'ole hyyva'! How exciting!! (grins)

Piccolo: I like this girl. (grabs bottle of vodka) Thank you.

Dende: (looks disapproving) Just water for me, thank you.

Piccolo: Suit yourself. (pulls of cap and takes a swig) Mm…vodka…

King Vegeta: I would probably keep training him. He was a strong little brat, brat though he may have been. I might not have given him to Frieza if given another chance, but I probably would have. (shrugs) Finally! Food fit for a king! (gorges on food)

Satay: Ew…

Yamcha: I'm trying to concentrate more on my sport now, but it's not easy. I keep getting distracted. Thanks for the pizza!

Krillin: It's great! Marron's my little angel, and 18 is such a good mother. You guys really wouldn't believe it.

Tien: Cheers! (starts eating with Chiaotzu & Krillin)

Piccolo: (still holding the bottle) Hm… I'll consider it. You'd definitely be less annoying than these guys. (gestures around the room)

Satay: YAY! It's like having an apartment in my own home!! YAY!!!

Yamcha: Dibs! (runs to the bathroom)

Satay: … Alright… That ruined the moment…

Yamcha: Ahh… that's better… (sits back down)

Satay: You'd better have washed your hands. (grimaces) Anyway, onto question three:

The Ultimate Saiyan asks:

**Nice…**

**Yamcha:Asstard. (Hits in baby maker with a mallet the size of the USSR)**

**Piccolo:YOU CANNOT DENY! I KNOW YOU LOVE GOHAN! (Gives video of Piccolo and and Gohan doing…things…with Piccolo wearing a dildo)**

**Tien: (Puts him in a speedo) You can have an orgasm now,Piccolo.**

**Chiaotzu:Aw..Too bad… (Gives a wig)**

**Krillin:Is it true that you used to have gay orgies with Goku,Master Roshi,and Yamcha?**

**Dende:Why do Nameks have antennae?**

Yamcha: ARGH! (falls over)

Piccolo: (twitch) That's foul. (twitch)

Krillin: That's actually more convincing than the picture.

Piccolo: (twitch) Oh please, (twitch) this is really getting ridiculous… (twitch)

Satay: Is that a vein throbbing in your forehead or are you growing another antennae?

Piccolo: (twitch) I feel sick…

Tien: Hey! I'm sitting crosslegged! How did you do that!?!?!

Piccolo: Ugh… (twitch) So sick… (takes big swig of vodka)

Tien: Hey! Can't you get my clothes back!

Piccolo: (twitch) Right…got it… (points at Tien and his clothes materialise back)

Tien: Thank god! It was getting kinda cold there for a second.

Satay: But we're in North Queensland, home of the hot sunny tropics! How the hell can you get cold!?!

Krillin: Excuses, excuses.

Tien: SHUT UP! (slaps Krillin)

Chiaotzu: Thanks! (puts on wig) Ah! (takes it off and scratches head with both hands) ITCHY!!! ARGH!!!

Krillin: If they ever did have orgies they didn't invite me.

Yamcha: WE DIDN'T HAVE MASS ORGIES!!!

Krillin: If you say so…

Dende: Well, you see…

Piccolo: (interrupts) Wait a second, how come Dende gets asked questions about how Nameks work, and I'm shown fake videos of me having impossible sex with my kind-of-adopted-son! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!

Satay: Let him answer, Piccolo.

Dende: As I was saying… Nameks, as everyone knows, evolved from lizards. Very early in the days of our evolution, the lizards were blind because they had lived under the ground. As a result, they grew antennas to sense their way around. Then, however, we moved above the ground and gained sight. They're just decoration now.

Satay: But they're so cute!

Dende: Uh…yeah…sure…whatever…

Satay: Anyway, onto question four:

Anime Fan18.0 

**ROFL! That was awesome!**

**King Veg-head: SO YOU ARE AFRAID OF WORMS! Like the saying goes, like father like son. Oh, and speaking of your son… (Brings Vegeta here) Vegeta, king Vegeta. King Vegeta, Vegeta. Now, Vegeta, you said you'd like to spend some "Father son time" with him, no?**

**Vegeta: I JUST WANT TO BEAT THE LIVING C#$ OUT OF HIM!**

**Me: Be my guest.**

**Piccolo: Does Nail or Kami sometimes just take over your body when they want to speak to somebody? Oh, and here's a bottle of tequila. (Makes booze appear) IF ANYONE TOUCHES IT, THEY WILL BLOW UP!**

**Tien: Your welcome! (Son grin) Is there anyone else you'd like to beat up? I'd be more than happy to bring them here!**

**Krillin: I watched one of my old Cell Saga DBZ episodes, and you said to Piccolo that the Solar Flare was a good escape attack, and that you'd been, "known to use it a couple of times." A COUPLE!? OH COME ON KRILLIN, BE HONEST! YOU TURN AROUND AND HIDE ALL THE TIME! Chicken…once a bowling ball-headed chicken! Oh well, still like ya'!**

**Yamacha: (Grina) Hm… (Blows up Yamacha) Oops…hehehe!**

**Satay: Okay, I understand. That's not a bad idea, bringing in a guest character every now and then.**

**To everyone: Alright, I'm gonna give you guys a chance to ask ME a questions! It hough It'd be a nice roll reversal for ya'll.**

**Instead of just making food rain down, I'll give you this: (Pulls out several different machines) It's a food-o-matic! Just tell it what food, or drink, you want and it will appear in front of you! Seeya!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

King Vegeta: (points at Vegeta) You stay away from me, Veggie-boy, or I'll tell your mother!!!

Satay: His mother's dead.

King Vegeta: Oh yes, that's right. I'll tell that giant worm! (pauses) GIANT WORM!!! (jumps onto fan)

Piccolo: No, but they can send me messages that they want to say. Like sometimes Nail sends me a message to give to Dende.

Dende: And sometimes you just want to tell me something, but _say_ it's Nail.

Piccolo: I do not. Anyway, no, they can't actually take over my body. Sometimes, when I get really stressed, they can get out for a while…but I always manage to pull them back.

Tien: Hmm…Well there was this one guy…

Chiaotzu: (warningly) Tien…

Tien: Oh fine. No, there's no one else (pouts)

Krillin: (flushes) So I have been known to hide a lot, I only used Solar Flare to escape once or twice. All the other times I just ran away. And I've got hair now…so I'm not a bowling ball anymore…

Satay: Crap.

Yamcha: (enters through new bathroom) Wow…that was weird.

Satay: Alright, anyone got a question for Anime Fan18.0?

Piccolo: Where did you get this excellent tequila?

Yamcha: (sobbing) Why?

Tien: Can you give me some of that tequila?

Satay: Come on, guys, serious questions now.

Dende: Where do you live and do you like the climate there?

Satay: That might be a bit too serious, but you're getting the idea.

Chiaotzu: (whispered) Don't get Tien the tequila…he can't handle his drink!

Tien: Shut up, Chiaotzu.

Chiaotzu: I didn't say anything!

Satay: Right… Thanks for the food machines, I'll put them in my new kitchen! Now, onto question five:

lesserguysfan asks:

**Why must everyone needlessly torture these lesser characters! I mean most of them probably had lost of cruel or painful deaths, so I am like the save point before the final boss in a video game! Heal up, everyone! Piccolo, you are very right being stuck with these people, Krillin, you're the one with the most deaths, I will show the most sympathy. You win a free mansion when you get out of this room! King Vegeta, I know you've been tortures, emotionally and physically, so I wish with the Namekian Dragonballs that for 1 minute, you will be in a saiyan food shop and have lots of saiyan currency! Tien and Chiaotzu, I wish you broke the mental barrier, and Piccolo, I give you the last wish! Oh, Dende, make sure Piccolo doesn't wish to get out, or else his name becomes Pukeollo! If you do that Dende, I've got 100 bottles of the best water in the galaxy! Yamcha…eh… You'll get a free extra large pizza with your choice of 3 toppings! No, I can't have you unkillable because I'm a guy showing sympathy, not a Gary Stu. Oh, send some food to Tao Pai Pai and the Crane Master, I know what you're thinking, that I'm crazy, honestly though, I ruin everything. Sympathy or bust!**

Krillin: Awesome! 18 is going to flip! This is great! (victory dance)

King Vegeta: Victory is mine! (disappears)

Tien: I…I can feel so much… Wow, this is intense… (starts running in circles) Tien go fast!

Chiaotzu: Oh dear…

Tien: Kiao-ken! (speed doubles) Tien go real fast!

Chiaotzu: (paralyses Tien) Uh…he just needs a second to calm down… Thank you, though.

Piccolo: Alright, so I can't wish myself out because Pukeollo isn't a good name for me…hmm… I wish for an iPod with really good music and big headphones! (they appear) YES! (puts in headphones and puts up volume to max)

Dende: Thank you for the water. It's wonderful (grins)

Yamcha: YES! MORE PIZZA!!

(portal opens and food for Tao Pai Pai and Crane Master is sucked through)

Satay: There we go, they'll get that now.

King Vegeta: (reappears with tonnes of food) Mm…delicious.

Satay: Anyway, onto question six:

Prince Vegeta-Sama Fanatic! asks: 

Cool fic! Tnx for kidnapping that Stupid Evil Kingy Veggie and Cheating Scar-Faced Man-Whore so I can torture them!

**Stupid Evil Kingy Veggie: I FUCKIN hate u so much bcause of what u did to poor Prince Vegeta-sama when he was small (hits u with a 10 tons of steel mallet) (justbecausehe'snotyourrealsonbecausefriezacastratedyouwhenyouwon'tsleepwithhim!!)…oopsie did that slipped? oh well! (puts an electrifying collar that will shock u to death when u pout or eat something) Suffer eunuch!**

**Cheating Scar-Faced Man-Whore: U are one of the most pathetic thing made in the whole universe second to Vegeta-sama's fake castrated father! (hypnotizes u to fall in love w/ stupid evil kingy veggie)**

King Vegeta: What cruel magic is this!?! I just bought all this food and now I can't even eat it! DAMN YOU!!!

Satay: I'll just put it in the fridge till your ready…

Yamcha: I'm what now? (stares at King Vegeta) Wow, you're cute. Wanna make out?

King Vegeta: WHAT!?! Stay away from me, baka!!!

Satay: Hehe… Anyway, onto question seven:

Dragonballgeek101 asks:

**Everyone: Who here thinks Goku is a idiot??**

**Yamcha & Weakling: (BAsh on da head wit new, shiny metal mallet) I LOVE Doin that! Hehe**

Piccolo: (raises hand)

Everyone but Piccolo: (stares at Piccolo)

Piccolo: What? He's a great fighter and everything, but you can't deny the man has the IQ of a rotten potato.

Satay: He has a point…but Goku's so sweet!

Piccolo: Sweet, but stupid.

Yamcha: Ow…

King Vegeta: Ow…

Satay: Where do you get your mallets? I want one!!!

King Vegeta: No more…

Satay: Hehe… Onto question eight! Ahem:

ss talos asks:

**i am back again**

**chiaotzu: you are human i know because i have i friend who has the same powers as you!**

**tien: your human too there was a mistake at the record centre.**

**king vigeta; what was planet vigeta like? and why was it named vigeta?**

**dende: there is in fact an eighth dragon ball. it was created by futer piccilo! he wanted to use it to stop the androids but shenron was sceard of being replaced so he sent it back in time. it eventuly ended up in the coer of planet vigeta and was relesed when friezA destroyed the planet!**

**yamcha: the eighth dragon ball is the strongest in the universe if you want i can use it to save you all!**

**oh by the way my i am gaving my ask the minnors to my brother.**

Chiaotzu: I suspected so.

Tien: Yeah, I thought so too…

King Vegeta: It was wonderful. The Saiyans named it after their handsome king after they conquered it. Such a proud race living on Planet Plant wouldn't do. It's like an anticlimax. Planet Vegeta is so much more terrifying!

Dende: I hope it doesn't interfere with the other eight dragon balls. It would be so complicated for me if another dragon came in trying to take over Shenron. I don't want that kind of hassle…

Yamcha: (gasps)

Satay: I'm sorry, Yamcha can't talk right now. I'll try to interperet. (bends down and puts ear to Yamcha's mouth) He says, "Don't take me away, I love it here." Well, that settles that then. Here, Yamcha. (gives Yamcha ice)

Yamcha: (weakly) Thank…you…

Satay: Well, wish your brother luck for me. That's about all we have time for today. I'll see you in the next chapter :D:D

Piccolo: (hic)


	6. Chapter 6

Satay: Welcome to yet another chapter. Wow, these are just flying off the fingers, aren't they? Wow…

Piccolo: (hic)

Satay: Can you make him sober, Dende?

Dende: (nervously) I can try… (taps Piccolo on the arm)

Piccolo: Nuu…I'm so much happier like this!!!

Dende: Sorry…

Piccolo: (sobers) Damn…

Satay: Right, now that's done we can move onto question one:

Dragonballgeek101 asks: 

Satay: kk here (hands over mallet) Its not as good as mine (holds up shiny, metal mellet) But, ur not as experiansed. lol

Yamcha: (BAM) Did that hurt? (BAM)

**Kingy: U know wat I'm gonna do… (brings in 4 year old Viggie)**

**Veggie: (tries to kill Kingy)**

**Kingy: (BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM) I think I got ur blood on dis thing. That only happened to Verta when He tired to kill Getii… WoW**

**Piccolo: lol ur the only one who thinks Goku's a morn. lol**

**Tein: Do u like delisouse pie? (The food)**

**dende: Do u think Getii was evil when he was a child? (when Evil-man gave him away to lipstick-man)**

**Krililn: Same as dendes.**

**i mean, the way everyone acts at Kingy for Veggie. That, and he has a SMOCKEN HOTT body. hehe. i'm goin off to looks at a naked adult veggie.**

**Singed: The crazy Vegeta obbsessed 11 year old girl named Akkuonna **

Satay: Thanks! This is gonna be useful. (evil grin)

King Vegeta: Oh no, what are you going to do with that?

Satay: Crack open nuts. Duh…

Yamcha: Ow…yes…ow…

King Vegeta: Stay away, brat! (fires ki-blast at Vegeta)

Satay: HEY! No ki-blasts in my room!!! (whacks King Vegeta with mallet) Wow, this is good…

King Vegeta: Urrrggghhh (collapses once again) This sucks!

Piccolo: That's because he is! Tien, you used to be his enemy once…don't you think he's stupid?

Tien: Oh fine, I do think he's a bit dim…

Piccolo: Ha! I'm not alone!!

Tien: But he's very loyal…

Piccolo: Don't change the topic. You think he's stupid too! HA! TAKE THAT!

Satay: O.o"

Tien: Yes, I do like pie (the food)

Chiaotzu: You don't have to say that, you know. You don't call me 'Pie'.

Tien: True, but people might get confused and think I eat you in our spare time…

Everyone: O.o"

Yamcha: Well…that's an image to remember…

Tien: (flushing) Anyway, yes I do like pie…

Dende: No, I don't. I think the only bad-guy who turned good who was actually born evil was Piccolo.

Everyone: (stares at Piccolo)

Piccolo: What? I'm the spawn of Piccolo Daimou! Don't look so surprised!!!

Dende: Uh…anyway… I think it was probably a combination of his father and Frieza's influence that made him evil.

Krillin: Yeah, that's a good answer… Let's go with that…

Satay: You have a naked adult Veggie!!! (jealous)

Chiaotzu: Uh…

Satay: Anyway, let's go on to question two:

Lilith-Shii asks: 

**YAY! Hi, hi!**

**I have been off in the world of Ask Goku and Vegeta, and decided, hell, let's ask some questions to these wonderful (Except for Yamcha) guys!**

**Piccolo: Do you feel like your a second father to Gohan?**

**Dende: I seriously think, without a doubt that Kami and Mr. Popo were romantically evolved (If I killed anyone's mind, I apologize!). So, is Mr. Popo proddin' up your tree?**

**Yamcha: Have you ever have a casual conversation with Vegeta without the result at the end, that you guys get into an argument on how Vegeta stole your woman? (So easily, may I say because Vegeta is a SMOOTH Operator) .**

**Krillin: Your freakin' awesome! You're the only male human I like. (Nod, nod.) How did you adjust to Vegeta joining the Z-team?**

**Tien: I used to have the biggest crush on you until Mirai Trunks came onto the scene. I still like you, but I LOVE him. (Well, Vegeta is staring to make is #1 Spot in my mind.**

Piccolo: FINALLY! Someone who understand the relationship between me and Gohan! Yes, I consider myself to be his second father. He is like a son to me, and I'm very proud of him.

Dende: Prodding up my _what_!?!?!?!

Piccolo: It means if you and Mr. Popo done what it showed me doing with Gohan in that disgustingly fake video.

Dende: (pales) Oh…god…no… We haven't! Not once! Never! Oh…my…god… (faints)

Satay: Wow…he must be really freaked out by that idea…

Piccolo: Can you blame him?

Satay: No…I can't…

Yamcha: (pouts) Yes, we had one shortly after Trunks was born. That ended in an argument about whether or not he was my son.

Tien: Let's guess who won.

Yamcha: Shut up…

Krillin: It wasn't that hard. I mean, he's a dick and all, but I think it was harder for Tien and Yamcha since he killed them.

Tien: Damned straight it was! I still don't trust him…

Chiaotzu: Oh, calm down, Tien. If you think about it, you technically killed yourself and that was with Nappa anyway.

Tien: I still don't like him.

Satay: Right…

Tien: And…thanks? I think…

Satay: Yeah, I kind of went an opposite way. First I had the hugest crush on Vegeta (because he looks kinda like Kazuya from Tekken), and then I had a wincey little crush on Gohan (adult) and Goku. Then (shameful) I had a little crush on Piccolo for a while.

Piccolo: WHAT!?!?!

Satay: What? You're cute! Don't deny it!

Piccolo: O.O

Satay: Anyway, now I have a huge crush on Tien. He's dreamy…

Tien: I am?

Satay: God yeah. Actually, speaking of god… (pokes Dende)

Dende: (wakes up) Wh-what happened?

Satay: If I told you, you'd just faint again. Anyway, I have some unfinished business… (sidles up to Tien and Chiaotzu) Do you guys mind if I call you 'Tien-chan' and 'Chiaotzu-chan'? Please?

Chiaotzu: Alright.

Tien: I guess so…

Dende: My head hurts…

Satay: YAY! (victory dance) Alright, Tien-chan and Chiaotzu-chan and everyone, we're going to move onto question three:

Maric asks:

**Krillen: Did you fell in love with 18 because of her intelligence?**

Krillin: Of course I did.

Yamcha: No you didn't! You fell in love with her because of her hot body and cute butt! You told me so!

Krillin: (flushing) No, I fell in love with her because of her smarts. I wanted to get into her pants because of her hot body and cute butt…

Satay: Right! Moving on! Question four:

The Ultimate Saiyan asks:

Heheheh…

Piccolo:IT'S TRUE! (Gives Video of Piccolo giving Gohan a blow job)

Krillin:1 word. VIAGRA.

Tien:Does your Third Eye get in the way of your sex life?

King Vegeta: (Hits in nuts with GIANT mallet)

Yamcha: (hits in nuts with SPIKED MACE)

Piccolo: (twitch) Oh god… (runs over to that food machine) Give me a bottle of tequila. NO I DON'T WANT ANY MIXER!!! GIVE ME THE DAMNED DRINK!!! (returns with large bottle of pure alcohol) I have two things to say to you. One: Can you imagine the damage my fangs would be doing right there? Two: CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT I DON'T LUST FOR GOHAN!!! I DON'T LUST FOR ANYBODY!!! (takes huge swig of tequila)

Krillin: Viagra? Why would I need viagra? I'm a studly man (strikes pose)

Satay: Wow, did you get that from the Ginyu Force?

Krillin: (shamefully) Yes…

Tien: Nope. Sometimes it even helps.

Satay: Yeah, I think his third eye is sexy.

Tien: (blinks)

Satay: (melts)

Tien: Right…

King Vegeta: ACK!!! (falls over)

Yamcha: (mouths soundlessly)

Satay: Well…how odd… Piccolo, are you sure you can handle that much alcohol?

Piccolo: Leave me alone. I'm having a very bad day. (takes another swig)

Satay: Alright then. Onto question five:

watergoddesskasey asks:

**im confused…piccolo if you dont have a baby maker how do u pee? out of your armpit like that freak catdog?**

**sausages for everyone! (waits till they take a bite) did u know sausage casings are made of pig intestines? YUM I LOVE ME SOME PIG GUTS!**

**YAMACHA! dude i wanna take you to a gay bar! (lol) YAOI!**

**krillian does 18 get really bitchy around that time of the month and blows up stuff?**

Piccolo: I don't pee either.

Yamcha: YOU DON'T PEE!?!?!

Piccolo: No. Nameks don't pee. We drink liquid and it is absorbed into our bodies then excreted through sweat. Thus, I am going to be sweating almost pure alcohol for the next few months unless this stops soon.

Satay: Oh, sorry about that, Piccolo, but you see…

Piccolo: (sigh) Thought not…

Satay: I love pig guts :D Have you tried black pudding? All sorts of creepy organs in that one… Or steak and kidney pudding? Or tongue? Or roast heart? (mm…heart…) Or liver? Or haggis? I love all kinds of organs!! Except tripe…that stuff feels like your chewing on plastic…

Everyone but Satay: O.O

Krillin: You…eat heart?

Satay: Only when dad cooks it…

Everyone by Satay: O.O"

Yamcha: Gay bar? A GAY BAR!?!?! But I'm not gay!

Satay: You are now.

Yamcha: Oh, lame!

Krillin: Yes, she does. I can't tell you how happy I am we live on an island in the middle of nowhere. People just think it's an underwater volcano or something when they feel the tremors on land.

Satay: Right… Anyway, onto question six:

Satu-D-2 asks: (Satay: I swear it's not me! SWEAR ON MY LIFE!!!)

**so are they going to take turns going to the bathroom??**

**Sorry that just popped in my head…that all I got.**

**beyoncepiccolo123**

Satay: It's not me, I swear it! I would never ask myself a question!!!

Krillin: Sure you wouldn't.

Satay: Shut up, Krillin! (smacks Krillin on the head)

Krillin: Ow…

Satay: And I hadn't thought of that, but I guess we'll have to. At least Dende and Piccolo don't use the bathroom.

Yamcha: Which is seriously messed up, if you think about it.

Piccolo: Hello! We're aliens! We're made differently to you, remember?!?!?

Dende: Calm down, Piccolo.

Piccolo: Ugh… (grabs another bottle of tequila)

Satay: Ok, onto question seven:

Anime Fan18.0 asks:

**This is getting good…**

**King Veg-head:…man, that was cruel, what Prince Vegeta-Sama Fanatic! did to you. Dang…I'll have pitty on you. (Takes off collar) There you go! Now suffer the raff (SP?) of my Pikachu army loaded with RYNO's from the Ratchet and Clank video games! (Ten thousand Pikachus loaded with RYNO's storm in and attack King Vegeta and destroy his food) MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Yamacha:Hm… (Sends to Pluto without a helmet) hehehe…**

**Piccolo: Dang…that was brutal what Ultimate Sayain did. Here's some more booze.**

**Tien, Chiaotzu, Krillin, Dende: Sorry, no questions!**

**Now, to answer YOUR questions…**

**Piccolo: Nh, I don't know. Some really good liquor store…**

**Yamacha: Why what? Why blow you up? Becuase it's funny!**

**Tien: Sure! (Gives tequila to Tien) Chiaotzu, if you take it, you will blow up to! AND NOBODY AND NOTHING CAN REVIVE YOU!**

**Dende: I won't answer the first, but the climate's okay.**

**Chiaotzu: Sorry, already did!**

**Satay: No prob.**

**Seeya!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

King Vegeta: Ow… Why does everyone hate me? I only gave away the brat because Frieza forced me to. If he hadn't of killed me my wife would have! WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT!?!?! (sobs)

Yamcha: (pops back into the room) How the hell did that happen!?!?!

Satay: I secretly asked Dende to create a time paradox. Whenever you die you just pop back into life here.

Yamcha: SWEET!

Satay: Don't push your luck. I can easily ask him to take it away!

Piccolo: Thank you for your sympathy. And for the booze. I really need it (hic)

Yamcha: But it's so mean! What did I ever do to you!?!?!

Tien: Thanks for the tequila… Hey, wait a sec…did you just threaten Chiaotzu?!?!? NO ONE THREATENS CHIAOTZU!!!! (makes to attack someone)

Chiaotzu: (quickly) Calm down, Tien. I'm not going to touch your tequila, so I won't blow up. Everything is fine.

Tien: Good… (sits back down and takes a sip of his tequila) Wow, this is good. Thanks!

Satay: Wow, he's got really severe mood changes…

Tien: Only when someone threatens Chiaotzu…

Satay: THAT'S SO CUTE!!! YOU TWO ARE LIKE BROTHERS!!!

Chiaotzu: Yeah, we kind of said that already…

Satay: AWWW!!! KAWAII!!!!

Dende: You won't even say the country? (shrugs) Oh well, fair enough.

Satay: Well now that's over with, lets move onto question eight:

Kimyou Doll asks: (Satay: I apologise if I wrote this in wrong, but it had like the euro symbol in it when I think it meant ' that thing, so I'm going to substitute…hope I get it right…)

I'm enjoying this very much. 'Bout time I ask some questions of my own:

Satay: Very nice lil fic u got here! R u gonna force your prisoners to redecorate ur room? BTW u might wanna let up on those window shutters…everyone's looking a little oxygen deprived. U should place a toll for anyone who wants to use your washroom ESPECIALLY those booze drinkers

Kuririn: When r u gonna move out of the Kame House? Don't u find it disturbing that ur former sensai watches & reads porn in front of ur lil girl?

Chaotsu: U r SO CUTE! (pinches cheeks til they turn hot pink)

Tien: I'd blow u a kiss, but I won't in respect to the author (bows to Satay). U r my second fav character. When & how did you get ur chest all scarred up? If it was from another fighter, I hope u kicked the bastard's $$

Yamacha: Isn't it true that u were dating Maron (Kuririn's ex) while ur with Bulma and while Kuririn was with Maron? (gives disappointing stare)

Veggie King (u know who u are): Isn't it true that ur wife was banging King Kold while u were selling ur son off to Frieza? (gives disappoint stare)

Dende: U r SO CUTE! (pinches cheeks til they turn bright purple)

Piccolo (the best for last): You are my NUMBER 1 FAV character! You should NEVER have become a lesser known! You are much too intelligent, superior, clever, formidable fighter to be kicked aside like a pair of King Vegeta's dirty pants after he pooped in them seeing worms or whaterver bugs he hats. U deserve greater respect!

However:

Isn't it true that Nameks are actually hermaphrodites?! That is u can switch from male to female whenever it's suitable. Or are u a special case because u were born on Earth so only u can switch sexes and are in total denial!!

Ta Ta for now

Satay: Thank you! No, I won't _force_ them to redecorate, however if some of them should kindly _offer_ to do so, I wouldn't turn them down. Maybe I should open a window… King Veggie's looking a little blue.

King Vegeta: Shut up!

Satay: (opens one lone window) Well, that's better. I don't think I'll charge them to go to the bathroom; that seems a bit excessive… Especially since Piccolo's the one drinking the most at the moment, and he doesn't even go there!

Piccolo: (hic)

Satay: Dende, better sober him up. He's got quite a long question later on…

Dende: Fine. But I'm doing it from a distance… (flies to the other side of the room and points at Piccolo)

Piccolo: (sobers) Damn it!

Krillin: Well, since I just won a mansion, I'm moving out as soon as I get out of this room! Call 18, we're going to Vegas!!!

Satay: I don't think your mansion's in Vegas, Krillin.

Krillin: Whatever… And I told him very sternly not to read that shit in front of Marron. I told him I'd have a huge bonfire consisting of all his tapes and magazines if he didn't, so Marron's never there when he reads it.

Chiaotzu: (rubs cheeks) Thanks?

Tien: (bitterly) Tao Pai Pai did it. It was at the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai in the quarterfinals. We were paired up. I was fighting for Chiaotzu, coz Tao really, really hurt him in the preliminaries.

Satay: AWW!!!

Tien: Uh…anyway… when he saw he was about to lose he pulled off one of his robot hands. Out shot a knife and he sliced me. And yes, I did kick his arse. But I didn't kill him…

Yamcha: (blushes and mumbles) Uh…we didn't date…it was just a once off…

Krillin: You did what!?!?!

Yamcha: (blush darkens) It was…you were out…and Bulma was mad at me…and we…uh…

Krillin: That bitch! You bastard! I hate you all! 18, honey, if you can hear me, find my ex and slap her as hard as you can! That double-crossing, two-timing, yellow-bellied…

Satay: Hold on there, Krillin, you sound like a character in a bad western.

Krillin: At least I did the dumping. Stupid girl…

King Vegeta: She never did! She was always with me!! By my side every single day until the day I died. Then she was by the side of my broken and bloodied corpse!!!

Satay: Calm the fudge down, King Vegeta.

Dende: Thank you… (rubs cheeks) Ow…that hurt…

Satay: Your cheeks turn purple when they're pinched?!? That's so cute!

Dende: Well we do have purple blood, you know…

Piccolo: Why did you sober me up before? I could have had five minutes of blissful inebriation!!

Satay: Just answer the question, Piccolo.

Piccolo: (sigh) Thank you for your respect, I agree that I shouldn't be here.

Satay: It's not my fault no one else took you. And I had to call it something.

Piccolo: Anyway, no Nameks aren't hermaphrodites. If we were, you would see female Nameks. But no, we're all guys, all the time. Asexual reproduction, gotta love it. (pauses for a moment) And I don't recall one instance – ever! – where I changed to a female. Not one.

Dende: I think I…

Piccolo: Stop encouraging them, Dende…

Dende: Sorry… (shame)

Satay: Right, well that's about it for today. Good news to everyone! Although it's getting to exam time (always a big deal for yr 11 students) the musical is over! We had our last show last night! This was a big deal, because although I was only a chorus member I was still there at every rehearsal, so now I'll have a lot more free time! Yay! More time to check my email and what-not!

Piccolo: (sarcastically) Halleluiah!

Satay: Anyway, that means more time for writing. Also, I'm thinking about taking down my fic _Of Triclops and Telepaths_ as no one has read it so far. I mean, I've writing over 19 separate 'chapters' for it, but I might take it down anyway… Could you guys tell me if I should or not? It would really help me out. Thanks a bunch.

Krillin: I can't wait to see my mansion!

Satay: Well you'll have to, Krillin. Anyway, I'll see you all next time! Bye!!! (waves randomly)

(A random fade-out begins)

Tien: What the -?

Satay: Sh! Just roll with it!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Satay: Welcome to another chapter! This is so much fun! I can't wait to write it!!! (squee)

Piccolo: (suspiciously) You're very happy today.

Satay: Of course I am! I've got a new memory stick!!! It's 2GB!!!! YAY!!! (dance)

Everyone: (sweatdrop)

Satay: Anyway, we'd better start the questions. That's what everyone's here for anyway. Question one:

**Maric asks:**

**Dende: How come there's hardly ever cute love fics about you? You're young, adorable, sweet, and very kind. You're a true gentleman Namekian. Any girl will love to have you. There are a lot B/V fics (mostly get togethers). Plenty G/CC fics. Many Gohan/Videl fics, Some K/18 fics. Even Piccolo managed to find love in fics (and with females. Even I know that Piccolo is not, I repeat, not gay!)**

Dende: Uh...I don't know. Maybe people don't like pairing me with anyone.

Piccolo: Or they pair you with Mr. Popo.

Dende: What?

Piccolo: Oh, nothing.

Dende: Uh... Anyway, thank you. I've never been called a gentleman before. It's really flattering. (grins)

Satay: Yeah, I kinda forgot to include Dende on my list of crushes.

Dende: Huh?

Satay: Yeah, I got a little crush on you (in the Great Saiyaman saga), because you were so adorable. It was around the same time I had a crush on Piccolo... I just liked hot Nameks, I guess.

Dende and Piccolo: O.o"

Everyone else: hehe...

Piccolo: You know what else I'm not; sexually orientated in any way!

Satay: Oh calm down, Piccolo. At least she knows that you're not gay.

Piccolo: (grumbles) Yes, that's something...I guess...

Satay: I read this really funny fic with you and Bulma, Piccolo.

Piccolo: WHAT!?!?! That shrew!!! The concept of sex is gross enough, but sex with _her_!?!?! Shoot me now.

King Vegeta: Alright.

Satay: You leave him alone, Kingy-poo.

King Vegeta: Don't call me Kingy-poo!!!

Satay: Hehe...'Kingy-poo'. Anyway, let's go onto question two:

**Goldenfightergirl asks:**

**hey Lilith-Shii MIRAI TRUNKS IS MINE! latches onto Mirai Trunks while he pats her on the back with a sweat-drop any ways on to the stuffals. Hey Piccolo about the one question you got about changing into a woman just sprung an idea to me evil laughter I'll shall change you into a woman for kicks and to laugh at. and piccolo you can't change back untill the end of the chapter! hahahahaha! any ways I don't got any more questions so you guys can ask me some cause I'm bored with nothing to do while I just move back to Cali a few weeks ago in a small town near san deigo. It's so boring! I really miss Vegas and all of my friends and torturing the boys who annoyed me including a certain black 15 year old name tony for no reson at all. hahaha... i miss my friends cries a bit untill she has a scary look on her face Hey Satay you mind if I could torture Yamcha and killing him for an hour? I mean you have dende's time paradox thing so you wont be missing him a bit since he just comes back every time he dies. cause im really bored here. well see ya sincerly Goldenfighter girl mate of Mirai Trunks. BACK OFF Lilith-Shii!**

Satay: (nervous laugh) I'm sure there's enough Mirai Trunks to go around... Eh-heh...

Piccolo: (promptly turns into a green-skinned, pointy-eared woman with antennae) What the -?

Satay: Hehe...

Piccolo: Oh...you are so dead.

Satay: Piccolo! Be nice! She only turned you into a woman!!! That's not so bad.

Piccolo: Sooooo dead...

Krillin: Ooo, Vegas! What's it like!?! I really want to go, but 18 won't let me. She says it's a town filled with...uh... 'women of the night'. Please, prove her wrong!!!

Satay: Yeah, you can have him for an hour. Feel free.

Yamcha: No!! Don't be cruel!!!

Satay: There, there, Yamcha. I'm sure she'll be really nice. (whispered) Be cruel! Very cruel!!

Yamcha: (whimpers)

Satay: Anyway, onto question three:

**pirate34** **asks:**

**satay:I developed a drug that makes nameks more...human, have a few needles full**

**piccolo:I feel like torturing you 'chichi pops out of nowhere'**

**chichi:piccolo molested gohan 'a dent proof frying pan pops out of nowhere'**

Satay: Yay! Thank you! (stares at Piccolo) I think I'll wait until he turns back into a man. Uh, question: when I use this, will he still have green skin, pointy ears and antennae?

Everyone else: O.O"

Krillin: You actually like the green skin, pointy ears and antennae?

Satay: He wouldn't be Piccolo if he didn't have them. (shrugs)

Piccolo: Uh...

Satay: Anyway, thank you!

Piccolo: Oh...dear...sweet...Jesus... (flies up near the roof)

Chi-Chi: Get back down here! (brandishes frying pan)

Piccolo: No! Go away! Go pester Goku!!!

Chi-Chi: You touched Gohan! I've seen those videos!!!

Piccolo: Ah! Why aren't you helping me!?!

Satay: You're perfectly capable of defeating her yourself; why don't you do it?

Piccolo: Because I saw what you did to Kingy over there when he defended himself! I'm not going to be hit by any god-damned mallet!

Satay: Oh fine.

(portal opens in wall and Chi-Chi is sucked through.)

Chi-Chi: (fading) I'll get you, you bastard!!!

Piccolo: (lands again) God, I hate her.

Satay: Piccolo!

Piccolo: What?

Satay: Ugh, never mind. Onto question three:

**jenn asks:**

**Kiitos!Thanks for answering.Damn I cant write proper english... anyway,Would you people stop bullying King Vegeta! If he hadnt let lord Frieza take Vegeta away, the hot prince would never have arrived on TellusEarth witch means The would be no lusting over him cos no-one would know who he WAS cos he would have DIED as a kidbrat! Satu dont go doing anything to your story I think Im gonna read it soon! So ones again DONT SHOW ... FAKE PICTURES OF PICCOLO TO HIM, SHOW SOME RESPECT AND PITY, THEYRE LIKE FATHER AND SON NOTHING MORE! So Yamcha, have you ever though what is the reason of your existens? I dont mean anything by it...if I do Gotzilla and can kill me. Krillen your not really a coward, you just know what you can do and what you cant do, and your not willing to take risks. Do you whant me to ask my friend that I wrote about earlier to babysit Marron,she loves kids? Dende what is it like beeing the guardian of Tellus/god?**

**Tien do you know ninjitsu? Chiaotzu what brotherlike(?) things do you do with Tien?**

**King Vegeta how can a mallet, steal or not, hurt a saiyan, and didnt you meat your wife when you were in hfil or ask Enma to give her a message from you if she died?**

**Piccolo Im looking forward to your lessons...good thing I am VERY patient. **

**I AM NOT SENDING YOU FOOD BECOUSE OF THE FOOD MACHINES, BUT I SHALL RE-DECORATE YOUR ROOM,SATU!**

Satay: Ole hyvää!

King Vegeta: Yes, that's right! If I hadn't given him to Frieza he would have been little dust boy! Now can you be nice!?!

Satay; That's a good point. I'm sorry I hit you over the head, Kingy.

King Vegeta: I DO NOT ACCEPT APOLOGIES!!!

Satay: Ok...whatever... Thank you, it's just that according to the stats 19 people have read it, and not one has taken the time to review. (tear) Except for you :D:D:D

Piccolo: Thank you! You have no idea how much I appreciate that!

Yamcha: No.

Satay: Yeah, that kind of thinking is way too deep for Yamcha.

(short pause)

Yamcha: Hey! That's insulting!

Satay: Slow!

Krillin: Thanks, that's sweet. I do get scared easily, but especially now that I'm a father, I really need to think about my family. I can't go rushing in headlong like Goku does.

Yamcha: Yeah, it always confused me how Goku would keep sacrificing himself. It's like he didn't think about his family once.

Piccolo: I told you! He's stupid!

Satay: Piccolo! He's noble! There is a difference!

Piccolo: Alright, he may be noble, but he's also stupid!

Krillin: Uh...anyway... Yeah, that'd be nice. Then me and 18 can have a romantic evening out (Groucho Marx eyebrows)

Yamcha: Who's Groucho Marx?

Satay: (twitch) Don't make me hit you... Groucho Marx was one of the Marx brothers; four comedians who played in old movies. They were hilarious. Groucho was the womaniser. He did this thing where he lifted and lowered his eyebrows a few times really fast. I can do it, much to my father's delight.

Yamcha: Oh... so... Who's Groucho Marx?

Satay: (twitch) You asked for it. (smacks Yamcha on the head with mallet) I didn't realise I would be using it so much...

Dende: It's a lot of fun, but sometimes it's kind of disturbing. I mean, there are a lot of bad things that go on down here, and I can only help so many people. But there are some moments that make it all worthwhile.

Satay: Wow...that wasn't cliché.

Dende: Shut up! It's true. I love giving advice and making subtle suggestions. It's my job!

Yamcha: Yeah, but you didn't have to say –

Dende: (blushing) Fine! I take back the first thing I said. But I stick with the second!

Everyone else: Fine.

Tien: Yeah, I dabbled in it for a while. I specialised in Taijutsu (when your only weapon is your body), and Chiaotzu was a great help during training. (grins)

Chiaotzu: Oh, we do all kinds of things. Some of them would be seen as less brotherly and more...uh...sexual... But I can swear that our bond is so deep we're not really like brothers, we _are_ brothers.

Satay: And some of those things are?

Chiaotzu: What?

Yamcha: Well you can't say something like that and expect no one to ask! C'mon, Chiaotzu! Spill the beans!

Chiaotzu: Well, we share a house which has only one double bed. You do the math. We train together, and I try to teach Tien advanced telepathy and he tries to teach me to meditate. We hug and we hold hands sometimes.

Tien: Brother stuff. I mean, I love Chiaotzu to death, but in a brother way, you know?

Chiaotzu: Yeah. (hugs Tien)

Satay: AWW!!!

Yamcha: You're right, that does sound kinda gay...

Tien: (yells) WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW!?! YOU HAVE THE EMOTIONAL IQ OF A TEASPOON!!!!

Chiaotzu: Calm down, Tien. He's a retard, remember?

Tien: (suddenly calm) Oh yeah, that's right. (grins)

Satay: Really extreme mood changes O.o

King Vegeta: (uncomfortably) This planet's atmosphere makes me weak.

Satay: Really? Well it made Vegeta (the hot one, not you) really strong. How does that work out?

King Vegeta: ... SHUT UP, that's why.

Satay: Right. You just don't want to admit that you were really surprisingly weak. I bet Geta could have beaten you up when he was an infant.

King Vegeta: (grumbles angrily under breath)

Satay: Don't go into a sulk, Kingy.

King Vegeta: (affronted) I'm not sulking! (sulks)

Piccolo: I look forward to it too. It should be very interesting.

(The entire room becomes Victorian themed)

Satay: YAY! It's so nice! Don't you like the new decor, guys?

Everyone but Satay: (vague murmurs of half-hearted appreciation)

Satay: (twitches) Stupid boys. Well, I think you did a wonderful job. Thank you very much. I love the Victorian era, and this is just beautiful. Thanks again! Now, onto question four:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**lol...**

**Piccolo:DO NOT DENY!(Puts a spell on him making Gay for Krillin)**

**Krillin:You better run man...**

**Yamcha:(Destroys nuts)**

**King Vegeta:(Destroys nuts)**

**Tien:So how exactly does that third eye help your sex life?**

**Dende:Why did you want to become the Guardian?**

**Chiaotzu:Why are you short?**

Piccolo: (twitch) Won't work. I'm a (shudders) woman now. (tries to cross arms angrily) What the -? (points to his now ample chest) WHAT THE HELL!?!

Satay: They're called breasts, Piccolo. Most women have them.

Piccolo: (stares at chest) THEY'RE IN THE WAY!!! GET THEM OFF!!

Satay: You'll get used to them, Piccola.

Piccolo: MY NAME IS PICCOLO!!! NOT PICCOLA!!!

Satay: Whatever. I'm just trying to give you a girl name.

Piccolo: I DON'T NEED A GIRL NAME! I'M GENERALLY A BOY!!!!

Dende: Kinda.

Piccolo: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, DENDE!!!

Satay: Calm down, Piccola. You just have to put your arms _underneath_ them. Like this (crosses arms)

Piccolo: (slowly copies) This is so uncomfortable... (grumbles)

Krillin: Yay! I don't have to run!

Piccolo: And I don't have to be gay for you. Aha! In your face!! You take that, creepy stalker person!

Satay: Piccola! Be nice!

Piccolo: MY NAME IS NOT PICCOLA!!!

Yamcha: Oh god! (collapses)

King Vegeta: Mummy!! (collapses)

Tien: How doesn't it? Just look what happens when I do this. (shifty eyes)

Satay: (melts) (reforms then faints) (wakes up then drools)

Tien: Pretty extreme, huh?

Satay: So...hot... (drools)

Tien: See?

Dende: I loved Earth while I was there. It was so beautiful! Of course, I didn't know about the nights then... But still, I don't regret my choice. It was an honour to even be considered, let alone be allowed. I was only a kid at the time, remember?

Chiaotzu: It's because I'm a telepath. Apparently telepaths age either very slowly or not at all. I am, unfortunately, the latter, so I'll look like this for a looong time. Anyway, I think it would make more sense to ask Krillin why he's so short.

Krillin: (flushes)

(A brief silence follows)

Piccolo: (snaps) Why the hell isn't Satay saying the next question?!?

Tien: Sorry, my fault...

Satay: (drool)

Dende: Wow, she's really out of it.

Yamcha: Wake up! (shakes Satay)

Satay: (shakes her head) Sorry, lost myself in Tien's...uh...lost myself in Tien there for a moment.

Tien: O.o"

Satay: Anyway, onto question five:

**Dragonballgeek101 asks:**

**Satay: i knew you'd like it... well, here's the new digitally remastered DBZ saga 1. HOPE YA LIKE IT! oh, Getii is looking extra hott here. hehehehehe**

**Kingy babay: HOW DARE U TRY AND KILL GETII-CAHN! NOW HE'S CRYING! I'LL FUCKEN KILL U! (bashes till only his head is seeable. like a hamer and nail. Ya)**

**Piccolo: ur crazy... here's some booze.**

**Dende: YA! u don't think he's was evil. GOOD!! cause me write fanfiction about lil cute Getii-chan in 1st grade!! ya!!**

**Tein: r u afrid of Launch?**

**Pie: MILK! ... O.o ME HYPER! FWEE!**

**Krillin: BALD! (puts dog-shit on head) now u have hair. -**

**Yamcha: (BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!) i'm bored and angrey so i'll take 3 of my anger out on u. The rest is from Kingy baby. (BAM BAM BAM BAM!)**

**THIS FIC IS SO FRICKEN ASOME!**

Satay: YAY! Mm...delicious Geta... Love him in his Saiyan armour. Very smexy ;)

King Vegeta: Ow... (tries to get out of ground) Um...could someone help me?

Satay: What was that? A plea for help from the unbeatable (except by Frieza...then you got beat bad...) Saiyan king?

King Vegeta: ...no...

Satay: Then there is no help for you. Moo...moo ha ha...

Krillin: Moo?

Piccolo: Thank you. I really need it this time (takes huge swig)

Dende: Why would I think he was evil? He obviously wasn't if he was able to turn good.

Piccolo: Hey! I turned good!

Dende: Yeah, but only because you had to.

Piccolo: (grumbles and takes another swig)

Tien: Sometimes, when she's blonde... She scares me a little then...

Chiaotzu: But you're stronger than her...

Tien: Yeah, but she's got a gun!

Krillin: Ah! It's in my hair!! AH!! (runs to bathroom) (a running shower is heard)

Satay: Uh... I see...

Krillin: (returns with wet hair) I'm not bald, damn it!!!

Yamcha: (cowers)

Satay: Hehe...

King Vegeta: Oh god no!

Dende: Hey! Don't take my name in vain!!!

Satay; Lame, Dende... Lame.

Dende: Sorry...

Satay: Thank you:D:D:D Here's question six:

**Anime Fan 18.0 asks:**

**Very good...**

**King Veg-head: It's not that I hate you, It's just that it's funny to torture you.**

**Piccolo: No prob. (Son grin) here's a bottle the size of Canada. Oh, and Dende, even if Satay asks you, if you try to sober up Piccolo during this chapter...you will blow up. **

**Tien: AHH! (Ducks behind Z-fighter proof shield) Oh, your not gonna kill me? Phew! (Note to self: never, NEVER, EVER threaten Chiaotzu again!)**

**Yamacha: You didn't do anything to me. It's just funny! EVERY Q/A fic has to have SOMEBODY to torture...besides King Veg-head. **

**Dende: Who's more powerful, Porunga or Shenron? **

**NOW! (Takes out ray-gun and vaporises King Vegeta and Yamcha) Wait for it...(Waits until they're revived and throws an H-bomb at them)WAIT for it...(Waits until revived AGAIN and takes a mallet the size of Russia and hits them both in the nuts, has Broly pound them, fires the Spirit Bomb at them, runs them over with a semi truck, crushes them with a safe, sicks Captain Ginyu (Who, last time I checked in "Ask the Ginyu force", is gay)on them, AND COMPLEATELY BLOWS THEM INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES, THEN BLOWS THOSE PIECES PIECES, AND CONTINUES UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-cough-vough-hack! Ehem, MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

**AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA**

**HAHAHAHAHA!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

King Vegeta: You're mean (pokes out tongue)

Piccolo: Thank you!

Dende: Hey! It's not like I want to!!! (pouts)

Piccolo: Try to sober me now! (promptly sculls the entire bottle)

Satay: Wow...I've never seen alcohol disappear so quickly..

Piccolo: (hic)

Tien: Yeah, you'd better not! Chiaotzu's my brother and if anyone hurts him I'll rip out their spleen and make them eat it!

Everyone: O.o"

Satay: (nervously) Have you ever done that before, Tien?

Tien: No...but I'm sure it's not that hard.

Satay: Right...

Dende: I would like to say that Shenron is more powerful, since I did a lot of work on him recently and he's basically my creation now. However, it would be a lie. Porunga is both older and more powerful than Shenron, as he was made by a more powerful Namek.

King Vegeta: You suck!!!!

Yamcha: Stop killing me!! Yamma is getting tired of seeing me!!!

Satay: Hehe... That's funny.

Yamcha: Shut up!

Piccolo: (hic)

Satay: Right... He'd better have enough equilibrium to answer question seven...

**Kittioto asks:**

**Hi! Lovin' this little story.**

**Piccolo - (because he's the hottest... EVA) When you sweat alcohol as a means of urination, does it smell worse than water? Or do you always smell like sweet potpourri?**

**Also... even though you claim to have no romantic interest due to a lack of necessity, you do have a close relationship with Gohan. That said, if you developed a tight friendship with a FEMALE would there be any chance of furthering the relationship (perhaps with the use of the dragon balls) ...? Looks hopeful**

**Tien - Do you have abandonment issues? (because you never really knew your parents... right?)**

**Dende - You're not my type, but green is still hecka sexy. How does that make you feel? grins Also: Do you still hang out with Gohan sometimes?**

**That's all for now. Piccolo gets any one thing he wants. Everyone else can come down with diarrhea. (maniacal laughter)**

Piccolo: (hic)

Satay: Wake up! (slaps Piccolo)

Piccolo: Oh...right...question... (blinks) Yes, it smells like I went swimming in a brewery. Unless I've been drinking strawberry daiquiris. Then I smell fruity (giggles)

Satay: Oh, god damn it! Dende could you -?

Dende: Hell no! I'm not taking that bullet!

Satay: Oh, fine. (whacks Piccolo over the head with mallet)

Piccolo: OW!!! That hurt!!!

Satay: Answer the question, Piccola!!!

Piccolo: (twitches) Fine. I apologise in advance. Though it would be possible to grow to love a human female, or male as I love Gohan, it is not possible to feel lust for them. In short, I would love you, but I wouldn't want to do anything beyond sparring. Kapeesh?

Satay: Hehe... 'kapeesh'.

Tien: Kinda. I didn't really mind when Lunch stormed out, but if Chiaotzu left I'd probably die... I almost did the couple of times he died...that sucked...

Chiaotzu: I won't leave, Tien.

Satay: Aww... (happy tear)

Tien and Chiaotzu: (blink and shift away)

Dende: Uh...I'm not really sure. Should I be relieved or confused...or upset...? Let's make it a weird combination of all of them. And yeah, I still hang out with Gohan...sometimes. The visits are tapering off a little, but we're both very busy. You know, he has his job and family, I have to look after the world. It doesn't really equate to a lot of free time...

Piccolo: (evil grin) I WANT LOTS OF ALCOHOL!!!

(it appears)

Satay: Piccola! NO!!!

Piccolo: My name is not Piccola (twitch) (sculls all of the alcohol)

Satay: Damn it!

Piccolo: (hic) Take thaaaa... (hic)

Satay: Wait, I have an idea! (grabs Piccolo's cloak and drags him towards the bathroom) (a running shower is heard)

Piccolo: (from the bathroom) Wha-?

Satay: (from the bathroom) Here you go, Piccola! A nice cold shower!

Piccolo: (from the bathroom) What?!? NO!!!

(loud splashes)

Tien: What do you think they're doing in there?

Chiaotzu: Beats me.

Yamcha: I don't really want to know.

Satay: (from the bathroom) Stop struggling! You're only delaying the inevitable!

Piccolo: (from the bathroom) No! Stop! This isn't fair!!!

Satay: (from the bathroom) HA! Take that, Piccola!

Piccolo: (from the bathroom) MY NAME IS NOT PICCOLA!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?! WHYYYY!?!?!

Satay: (from the bathroom) Come on back into the bedroom, Piccola. I think you'll be turning back soon.

(Satay appears in the doorway, dragging a soaking wet Piccolo)

Dende: Wow, that's a good look for you, Piccolo.

Piccolo: Shut up! (pause) What are you staring at, Yamcha!?!

Yamcha: Wow, Piccolo. You've got a good body.

Piccolo: (looks down at his female body) LEAVE ME ALONE! Holy crap, this is torture! When will I turn back!?!?!

Satay: Well, Goldenfightergirl said you'd turn back at the end of the chapter...and...

Piccolo: How many more questions are there!?!

Satay: Uh...well...none...but...

Piccolo: WHAT! Finish the damned chapter, woman!!!

Satay: Alright, alright. Jeez. Calm the fudge down! Okay, thank you all for reviewing, you keep it all together for me :D:D:D I'll see you in the next chapter of Ask the Lesser Known Z Fighters! Oh, also, I have another tortu-I mean 'learning experience' for Piccola, but you'll have to read _Mentor_ to understand it. It's just a little thing, but it really refutes his claim of Nail telling Dende stuff.

Piccolo: What!?!

Satay: Hehe... Anyway, see you next time!

Piccolo: (turns back into a man) YES!! Thank God! No more breasts! AHA!!! (crosses arms) (happy sigh) That's better...

Satay: O.o"


	8. Chapter 8

Satay: Welcome to chapter...uh...what are we up to, guys?

Piccolo: Eight...chapter eight...

Satay: Oh, thanks, Pic.

Piccolo: (growls)

Satay: Anyway, I'm sorry that it's been so long. I'm a terrible person, but I had my violin grade 7 exam (difficult), block exams (more difficult), then I went to Guam (rather pleasant). I thought I would have time to write this before I went to Guam, but I didn't. I got back at midnight last night and I'm very, very, very sleepy . 

Yamcha: When did you go to Guam?

Satay: Never mind. Welcome to chapter eight. We'll get right onto question one:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!**

**Piccola:(Turns into woman and puts unbreakable love spell on him/her making him/her lust for Krillin)NOW GET YOUR GREEN ASS OVER THERE AND MAKE LOVE TO KRILLIN!**

**Krillin:(Puts in unbreakable Love spell making him lust for Piccola)Cover your eyes people...**

**Yamcha:PIMPY McPIMPS-ALOT!(Force-Feeds Monkey Poo)**

**King Veg-head:SHAVE YOU BASTARD!(Completely and utterly destroys)**

**Dende:Did anyone ever try to rape you?**

Piccolo: Ha! I can't be affected by spells. Take that! Nya! (sticks out tongue)

Dende: You're still a woman, though.

Piccolo: What? DAMN!

Krillin: Hey, babe.

Piccolo: What? Ah! Get away! (flies near the ceiling)

Krillin: (who seems to have forgotten that he can fly as well) Come back, baby! (jumping up and down to get at Piccolo)

Piccolo: Dende! AH!!! Help!

Dende: I'm sorry, Piccola, they said unbreakable.

Piccolo: MY NAME IS NOT PICCOLA!!! DENDE DAMN YOU ALL!!!

Dende: Even me?

Piccolo: Especially you! Just change me back to a man then.

Satay: Oh, I smell another time paradox.

Yamcha: Sorry, that was me.

Everyone: O.o"

Satay: It's a figure of speech, retard. Oh, Kami save us all! Dende, just do a time paradox, please? (begs)

Dende: (grudgingly) Alright. (points at Piccolo)

Piccolo: (turns back into a man) Thank Kami!

Krillin: Get down here, baby! (still jumping)

Satay: No, Krillin! Think of your wife!!!

Krillin: Wife?

Satay: Yes, you know, 18?

Yamcha: The one with the hot body and cute butt?

Krillin: (slowly) Hot body...and cute butt... (shouts) I remember! Oh, honey, if you can read this, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me!

Satay: Let's just thank Kami it wasn't Piccolo.

Piccolo: WHAT!?!?!

Satay: Nothing! (quietly) Hehe...suss joke... (giggle)

Yamcha: AH! Gross! Bleh! (runs to bathroom) (running water is heard)

Satay: I think he's washing his mouth out with soap.

Tien: He'd better be...

King Vegeta: Shit. (is completely and utterly destroyed) (pops back into existence) (sarcastically) Well, that was pleasant.

Dende: Uh...not yet.

Piccolo: Hey, you're still young. I'm sure you'll grow up to be a find specimen of a Namek and then random fangirls will try to rape _you_ and leave me the hell alone.

Satay: Well, while Dende may grow up to be a strapping and very handsome Namek, he'll never had the sex appeal. Let's face it, you used to be the devil and Dende used to be that little green cuteness that was killed by Frieza. Which would you go for?

Piccolo: Shit...

Satay: Anyway, onto question two:

**Maric asks:**

**King Vegeta: Are Saiyans always such war like people or where they once a peaceful race over billions of years ago before our solor system was born?**

King Vegeta: Kami no. We've been blasting the crap out of a whole range of (now extinct) planets and their inhabitants for millions of years. Why, by the time your solar system was born we'd killed about 70.

Tien: How do you kill a solar system?

King Vegeta: How do you kill your face!?!

Chiaotzu: That was a crap comeback. Get a life, King Vegeta.

King Vegeta: No...

Satay: Right O.o Moving onto question three:

**Dragonballgeek101** **asks:**

**Kingy-poo: I kinda agree with Anime fan on that, I just hate u and love torturing u. - arin't I sweet?**

**Dende: uh i got nothin... -.-**

**Piccolo: I read A lot of fanfiction(when not Bulma and Vegeta highschool fics) about u and Getii havin sex. lol its good. I also read 1 with u and Bulma 2... HERES MORE BOOZE!**

**Yamcha: I just hate u. I a lot of, no, accutally, EVERY B/V highschool fic, u get bashed. Like, 1 u got ur wrist brocken by Veggie-weggie. how do u feel about that?**

**Krilin: (magicly makes u bald) there, now ur bald... (wait few seconds) BALD! (puts dog-shit on head) see!!?? I gave u hair now!**

**Tein: I think Satay wants 2 rape u. O.o watch out for her...**

**Satay: hehe, did I just ruin ur plan?**

**Everyone: Have u ever heard of the ASOME show Naruto? and the HOTT guys Kakashi, Itachi!, kisame aka Susan, and Zabuza? ZABUZA!**

King Vegeta: No, you're mean (pokes out tongue) You're not coming to my birthday party!

Satay: Would anyone want to go?

King Vegeta: Shut up...

Dende: Uh...alright?

Piccolo: (twitch) No...it's not (twitch) possible. Not me and that arrogant bastard (twitch-twitch) Ugh...I need to throw up...

Satay: Look, Piccolo, booze!

Piccolo: On second thought... (sculls all alcohol) Damn, I'm building up an immunity...

Satay: Haha!

Yamcha: My wrist? Ow! That would suck! How would I play basketball!?!?!

Krillin: Not very well?

Yamcha: Shut up!

Krillin: AH! GET IT OFF! AHHHH!!! (runs to bathroom; running water is heard) (he comes back towelling his bald head) I don't like being bald anymore! 18 likes the hair look!!!

Satay: Dende -?

Dende: Way ahead of you. (points at Krillin)

Krillin: (hair grows back) That's better!!!

Tien: Rape? What the -?

Satay: I didn't actually have a plan. I was just going to improvise.

Tien: What...? But...how...what?

Satay: (grin)

Tien: Chiaotzu, protect me...

Chiaotzu: I'll do my best, Tien, but she looks determined.

Satay: (grin)

Tien: (cowers behind Chiaotzu)

Satay: Aww...so cute :D

Piccolo: Na-what-to? What's that?

Satay: I think it's a show... I've never watched it, but I've heard good things...

Dende: I saw an episode once! I didn't get it...

Satay: Uh, anyway, moving onto question four:

**Krillin Fan asks: **(Satay: Actually, you put in two reviews and I had to put them both in coz Tien wants to say something)

**Okay, two problems right there.**

**1). Krillin DID train under King Kai. Buu saga. I mean, seriously...**

**2.) A fact that will often be debated, but Krillin is actually the strongest of the humans. Sorry, but it's true. In all fairness, though, Tien did hold that title until after Namek. They were close during the Saiyan saga, though...**

**Well, few questions:**

**Chiaotzu: Exactly how mad were you at Krillin for forcing you to do math during the tournament?**

**Tien: does your third eye ever close?**

**Piccolo: I feel your pain. Why the heck can't people accept the fact that you're asexual?**

**Krillin: Two actually. One, what was it like the first time 18 actually told you she loved you? And also, as you said she was somewhat demanding in bed, what was the wedding night like? Also, to call you a coward is wrong. The only time I've ever seen you actually run from a fight is when you're stalling for time.**

**Yamcha: Well, people will hate me for saying this, but... I'd prefer NOT to see you die. Sure, you were a lazy, unfaithful, oigheaded slacker, but as things progressed, you were reduced to a lazy pigheaded slacker. So, as that one all infuriating adjective that almost makes me ashamed to share your gender was removed from your title, I no longer wish to see you fry. Just feel some slight pain. Oh, and just so you know, Krillin and Bulma had a fling while you were dead. Enjoy THAT little tidbit.**

Satay: First, I would like to apologise. My knowledge of the Buu saga is rusty at best . Ask me anything about Dragon Ball, however, and I'm basically an expert.

Tien: I AM STRONGER THAN KRILLIN!

Krillin: Ha! That's one vote for Krillin. Now, how many think Tien is stronger?

Chiaotzu, Satay, Piccolo, Dende: (raises their hands)

Tien: Ha! Four beats one, take that!

Krillin: But why is he stronger than me! I train hard!

Tien: Wrong! You retired! After the Cell Games, you retired fighting to raise a family. Me and Chiaotzu kept training!

Krillin: Then how come Chiaotzu isn't the strongest human!?!

Chiaotzu: Because my strength is purely mental. I'm a telepath! I rely on my mind!!!

Tien: Ha! So that makes me stronger than you, which means that I am the strongest human fighter. Ha ha, take that!

Krillin: (pout) I thought I was the strongest... (pout)

Tien: (superior smirk)

Chiaotzu: I wasn't that mad at him. But, maths was Tien's job. We had a deal, the two of us. I did the language and he did the math. So I was really mad at Master Shen because he kept making me do stupid problems (pout)

Tien: Yes, but only when I'm sleeping or I've been knocked completely unconscious. When I'm awake it's always open. Simple as that, really.

Piccolo: Because they think I'm sexy. Damn my body! Why couldn't I have been fat, like Guru!?!?!

Satay: Because then that would take away prime drool time, and seriously put their ratings down.

Piccolo: (grumbles under breath)

Krillin: It was awesome. We were alone in Kame House coz the others had gone out to a restaurant. We were sitting up in our room (it was shortly after we'd gotten engaged) and she told me that she loved me. It was...indescribable. Really. My entire world brightened. Ok, the wedding night. That was a different story. We went slow at first, but she...uh...knew what she liked...and she made sure I gave it to her. Oh...that was a good night. (satisfied grin)

Yamcha: Damn! Why couldn't I get a hot sexbot!?!

Krillin: 18 isn't a sexbot! She's my wife, and if you say anything like that again I'll smack you!

Yamcha: Hey, wait a sec... You have a fling with Bulma!?!

Krillin: (flushing) Well, you were dead and I just...uh...we...

Yamcha: You are dead, little man!

Krillin: Hey, at least she only cheated on you with me! You cheated on her with Marron, the girls on your cheerleading squad and numerous fangirls!

Yamcha: (grumbles)

Satay: Now now, play nice! We have more reviews to do . Question five:

**jenn asks:**

**okay...Piccolo scared me for a bit...err...traumaticed...severly traumaticed me there...Damn and I was just sympathizing him earlier in my e-mail to my e-penpal Satu...OO Oo oO OO**

**So Dende...err ou I know thanks for helping me and Satu out the other day with your godly powers! Can you fly like the other dudes? In many fics you cant or your extremely slow. Dende if I were to write a fic about your lovelife,wich you dont have cous your asexual,what would your ideal FEMALE partner be like?**

**Kingy...I dont respect you anymore.I bable about how wonderful your wife was an you dont even remember her in death?!**

**This is why I dont believe in love and sex!**

**Tien and Chiaotzu why dont you bye a new bed?And "the eye" doesnt work on me,sorry. **

**Krillen heres a eppisode of CIA Las Vegas...it may answer your guestion**

**Piccolo vanilla flawored soups for you...PLEASE,DONT TURN HIM A WOMAN AGAIN!?! **

**Satu please put this on your next chap before the review of 5 chap but you can put them there together... Sorry I need to go visit my friend I have mentioned earlier to the hospital so no more guestions...**

Piccolo: (sarcastically) I am so sorry that I caused you mental pain.

Satay: Be nice! Sorry, Jenn, he's in a bad mood . 

Piccolo: (rolls his eyes)

Dende: Uh...you're welcome?

Satay: Yeah, that was a big deal. Thanks for helping me with that :D

Dende: Huh?

Satay: Go on, answer the questions.

Dende: Ok. Yes I can fly. Didn't any of you guys see me on Namek? When I flew to give the password to the others? Nameks are born with the ability to fly; it has nothing to do with our power level. I just don't like it very much. Uh... She'd be nice, easy to talk to, calm, she wouldn't have to know how to cook because Mr Popo's a good cook. Uh...that should just about do it. .

King Vegeta: No! I want respect! (cries)

Satay: Admit you love your wife and they will respect you.

King Vegeta: Of course I loved her! But I also loved the thirty onna in my harem!

Yamcha: YOU HAD A HAREM!!!

Satay: Too bad, Veggie. That just lost the respect _I_ had for you.

King Vegeta: Damn.

Tien: We tried having two beds once. It didn't work to well...

Chiaotzu: Yeah. I kept having nightmares and crawling into Tien's bed . 

Krillin: Nightmares?

Chiaotzu: Have you listened to a word I've said? I don't age, retard!

Krillin: But...but... I've known you since _I _was a kid!

Tien: And I've known him since I was a kid. So what? He's still basically a ten year old.

Chiaotzu: And ten year olds are allowed to have nightmares (pout)

Krillin: CIA? OooOOoo… Juicy murders. Awesome (grins)

Piccolo: Nice. I actually like soup, so thank you.

Satay: Ok, moving onto question six:

**Clare-stovold asks:**

**lol in the first chapter.**

**lol id be more worried about yourself tien(Growls and does tht paw-swipey thing)lol tht was funny**

**Questions:**

**Chot-zu: Are you really an undercover mime?**

**Yamcha: You cheated on Bulma near the beginning of Dragonballz didnt you? (Again)**

**Tien: Were you in a commercial that shows what happens when you fall in a Vat of acid? (Reffering to your third eye) LOL**

**Dende: When you were on namek during the Frieza senario, how the f did you manage to mistake Burter of the Ginyu force for Krillin? I mean, you flew down towards him yelling Krillin and then you notice it isn't Krillin and your like, Huh? This isn't Krillin! Maybe im just Going blind like a bat? Or maybe i'm just Stupid and idiotic like Goku...And so on?**

**Krillin: Whats with the six dots on your forehead? Are you a monk?**

**Piccolo: Your the coolest and most arrogant (Excluding Vegeta) On the Z-Team. I look up to you (Pats on the shoulder) Well done :) Im not crazy :).**

**Satay: I love this fic, (Gives giant candy-lolly-pop) Lol :).**

**Please put my questions on your fic :) Cheers for the good laugh :)**

Chiaotzu: No. We don't need money that badly . 

Yamcha: No.

Satay: (whacks him) The truth, Yamcha!

Yamcha: Ow…Alright, I did…

Satay: Good boy. (whacks him again) That was just coz you annoy me :D

Tien?.?

Satay: Hehe, you're confused.

Tien: Well, we don't have a TV so…

Dende: I'm not stupid! I'm God now! Don't mess with me!

Satay: Jeez, Dende. Calm the fudge down!

Dende: Sorry, I'm not good with people saying I'm stupid. It irritates me . 

Satay: Soo…how did you manage to mistake him?

Dende: Let's just say that when I got to Earth I fixed my eyesight up…

Satay: Well, that's not encouraging.

Krillin: Ex-monk. I used to belong to a monastery and that's where I did all my training and stuff before I went to Master Roshi's island to be trained by him. I didn't like it there. For monks they were really mean . 

Satay: Ha ha! Krillin got beaten up by a monk!

Krillin: Shut up!

Piccolo: Most people look up to me. It's because I'm so tall. (smug)

Satay: You have to be nice, damn it!

Piccolo: Well, I have a reputation to maintain. Dende damn it, if I was nice then I wouldn't be arrogant, would I?

Satay: … Damn, he has a point . 

Piccolo: (double-smug)

Satay: Yay! Candy! Hehe… :D:D:D Onto question seven:

**Kimyou Doll asks:**

**Satay: Nope u wrote it perfectly! Donâ€™t know why it came out that way**

**Tien: What the hell (blows kiss)**

**Tien & Yamcha: How is it that u 2 have scars from past minor battles but other human fighters (ahem, Krillin) are nice and smooth like a babyâ€™s bottom? Though this doesnâ€™t dull your appearance in the least Tien! Much more in your case, Yam (disappointing stare). And Iâ€™ve seen Gohan & Vegeta ( the one everyone likes) get some heavy wounds but also scar-less**

**Krillin: Have fun in your big new house! So how did u pop the question to 18? And how did 17 react when he found out? Did u have a big wedding? Details!**

**Yamacha: How rude! Krillinâ€™s your best friend and you took advantage of his obvious, undoubtedly, a blind and deaf person could tell, failing relationship?! How many other women have u stolen from your close friends?! Chi-Chi? Videl? (u DID say she was cute at the tournament) 18?! Lunch?!!**

**Chiaotzu: YOUâ€™RE STILL SO CUTE! (pinches cheeks rosy red) Thatâ€™s sweet how you and Tien get alongâ€¦Has there ever been a time when u two fought? As opponents and u know, normal disagreements and arguements?**

**Dende: U R SO CUTE! (pinches cheeks lavender) Donâ€™t u miss your brother (who is equally as adorable) and all your people on Namek? Do u still keep tabs on them? Do u visit? (Take a holiday! Piccola/Piccolo can watch over the planet)**

**Piccolo/Piccola: You DID look pretty comfortable when you were a woman! Maybe ur use to being flat-chested? You still have your sexy lashes.. Ahem. So what is a typical day for the great Piccolo. BESIDES drinking yourself to death? (sob) What would Gohan say if he saw his mentor drinking himself to a shallow grave! Save him, somebody, save him!**

**King without a Kingdom: It IS true! She left u a message with one of Friezaâ€™s couriers who happened to die horribly when he destroyed your planet. Hereâ€™s the translated version:**

**My Dearest King Vegeta:**

**Iâ€™m screwing King Kold. He promised me and our darling son a new palace, empire and better education system. Plus he knows how to â€œsatisfyâ€**** a queen.**

**Regards,**

**Your beloved wife**

**To all Lesser Knowns: Who has the biggest man boobs in this group? Are they bigger than Super Saiyan 3 Gokuâ€™s? (evil grin)**

**Ta Ta for now**

Satay: Yay! Thanks :D

Tien: Okay… (does that weird catchy thing)

Yamcha: Because that guy had a knife!

Tien: And other human fighters (coughKrillincough) have never fought someone who cheated (coughTaocough)

Yamcha: Wow, Tien. Do you have a cold?

Tien: Idiot.

Krillin: Yay! Thanks! Okay, proposing to 18 was kinda weird. We were in a shopping centre. We'd just watched a movie and as we were walking out I pretended to trip and fell on one knee. She thought I was being an idiot until I pulled out the ring. Hehe…she went as white as a sheet, then dragged me out of the shopping centre before accepting (grins) Hm…that's a funny story actually. 17 doesn't know… If he's reading this, sorry, mate, but we couldn't find you for the wedding… Hope you don't mind (grins). The wedding was great fun. We had a kinda small ceremony at Capsule Corp. Bulma was very supportive. Vegeta…not so much . Gohan was my best man coz Goku was dead at the time, and everyone was there. It was cool! Bulma was 18's maid of honour. I loved it :D:D:D:D

Satay: Aww…how romantic… (warm fuzzy feeling)

Krillin: (shrugs) If you say so…

Yamcha: I never cheated with any other of my friends' girlfriends! Well…uh…there was this one time with…uh…Lunch…

Tien: WHAT!?!?!?! You mother-f-

Satay: Tien! Shameful!

Tien: He cheated with my girlfriend!

Chiaotzu: You were going to dump her anyway.

Tien: … Oh yeah… I still hate you, Yamcha (sticks out tongue)

Yamcha: Aw….damn…

Chiaotzu: We had a big fight once. I wanted to go to Bulma's annual BBQ (she started them after the Android thing…) and Tien didn't. We had a fight and Tien ended up leaving.

Tien: I did apologise later.

Chiaotzu: I think he came back for my cooking…

Tien: Uh…well… It did help…

Satay: Damn, I wish I could cook . 

Chiaotzu: Anyway, he came back about a week later and I didn't end up going anyway. It wouldn't have been any fun without Tien there.

Yamcha: Thank Dende you didn't. I think that's the one I bought Lunch to…

Tien: WHAT!?!?!

Chiaotzu: You'd been broken up for over three years, Tien…

Tien: … Oh yeah… I still hate you, Yamcha.

Yamcha: (wearily) I know…

Dende: I still visit Cargo regularly. He's my brother, after all. Well, technically all the Nameks on the planet are my brothers, but Cargo's my twin so… He visits sometimes.

Piccolo: And I want to strangle him.

Dende: You leave my brother alone!

Piccolo: It's not my fault! He loves interrupting my meditation, and I love pretending to throw him off the Lookout.

Dende: You do what?!

Piccolo: Hehe…

Dende: Ugh…maybe I will go back to New Namek. Let's see how you like it, Piccolo.

Piccolo: Ugh… I hated being a woman. I like my chest in its current un-squishy state. (crosses arms) I meditate, train in the Time Room and generally ignore everyone. (sarcastically) It's fun. And Gohan would ask to share the tequila. He has a weak spot for tequila.

Satay: Really?

Piccolo: (smirks) Yep. He's funny when he's drunk. I've had to save him twice because he staggered right off the edge of the Lookout. Oh yes, very funny.

Satay: Hehe… I can see that… Teehee.

Piccolo: Also, the amount I drink may shorten my life by approximately three years. Hmm…three off 400… I can live with that.

Satay: Hehe…

King Vegeta: That's not her handwriting!

Satay: That's a translation. Idiot.

King Vegeta: Ah, yes…quite… Well, then it's just as well that my grandson killed him, isn't it?

Satay: How did you know that!?

King Vegeta: You have these pamphlets… (holds up random pamphlets)

Satay: Whatever… Are we all done? Then we shall continue onto question eight:

**nappa 12 asks:**

**your diabotical plans are GENIUS.(bwah ha,ha!)just to give you a little tip for future refrence,you should keep the cussin' to a minimum.I mean,there are children on this site y'know?(Nappa 12)as in twelve years old.Kidding,the cussing is the best part.good story too.**

Satay: Cussing is fun. Hehe… Hi, kiddies! Know that Piccolo only says what he does because he is a bad asexual lizard thing.

Piccolo: I'm not the only one who swears!

Satay: Yes, but you're the most memorable.

Piccolo: Damn…

Satay: Okay, onto question nine:

**PiccolozPhoenixPrincess asks:** (Satay: Ok…Uh…There were two, so I just put both, kay?)

**this fic is brilliant...**

**okay quezzies!!**

**Yamcha: Yoor an idiot & yoo are defintly the weakest, you are a fave to make fun of hee hee! but you're not useless you seem to come up with ideas 'sometimes!' how can someone so stupid as yourself help so much?!**

**Tien: you've got a fit body but your face is so UGLY! HAHA! Do you break every mirror you look into?**

**Dende: you are adourable! really cute! how can you see all the bad stuff that happens on earth and still be so cheery?**

**Piccolo: YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER EVER! You are so underapreciated! & plus your pretty fit too! blushes i know that you are asexual & that Gohan is like a second son to you (you in my opinion are a better father than goku but i will leave it at that!) I just dont see why it is so hard for people to understand...ANYWAYS! You are the demon prince but nameks are not demons they are aliens how can you be both & how come your brothers were not namekien? blowz a kiss&winks**

**-**

**Whoa so cool! itz so funny lol...**

**Again QUEZZIEZ! YAY..!**

**Tien: why dont yoo just give the author a kiss...whisperz it will make her day tee hee...**

**Yamcha: AGAIN you're an idiot! tee hee...my quezzie is (AND THERE IS A LIE DETECTOR SO IF YOU'RE NOT TELLIN THE TRUTH YOU WILL BE CRUSHED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE ULMIGHTY MALLET!) ...Besides the dirl that you DID cheat on Bulma with are you like a...vigin? caude like i could not imagin bulma letting you put your yucky hands on her tee hee!**

**Tien: You have missed out on alot of adventures have you ever came back to the Z fighters and been like TOTALLY confused by everythin thats going on?**

**Piccolo: Hi YAY i gets to talk to you again tee hee! anyways heres some boose and same rules apply if dende tries to sober you he blowz up tee hee! okay but now i need a question for the hunk..eh i mean hero of the group, you have done alot for the z fighters, but what exactly did you do as an evil dooer? all I gotz to see was you fighting goku and blowing a few things up! they day that treeson isn't inheiretable but how come you got all of your fathers hatred against you & how did that make you feel towards the human race?**

Yamcha: Hehe…well, that's a secret…

Dende: He's got an earpiece.

Yamcha: Dende! I do not! (shifty eyes)

Satay: Idiot. (smacks him)

Tien: No. Do you?

Satay: Tien! Be nice! Plus, I don't mind. That just means more for me! Haha! I've actually got a picture of Tien that you might like… His face is covered, but his chest isn't…

Tien: Uh…how?

Satay: Let's not go there… (flush)

Tien: O.o

Dende: Because I see a lot of good stuff too :D

Piccolo: You're British, aren't you? I can guess… My father was the evil that Kami banished from him. Now, because he was pure evil and most Nameks are mostly good, it stands to reason he would become a demon/devil thing. Nameks also have the power to alter the DNA of their children. Technically my 'brothers' (as you call them) were Nameks, but they were weaker and thus less connected genetically to the rest of them.

Tien: I don't know…Drum kinda looked like you.

Piccolo: If you are referring to the giant fat blob thing, may I remind you that he almost pulled out your heart and crushed it before your eyes? I would gladly finish the job.

Tien: I'll keep quiet…

Piccolo: Good. Now, giving birth to a proper Namek (like Dende or myself) takes a lot of effort. My father put so much of his energy into my birth, in fact, that he exploded. He would have died from the wounds that Goku inflicted on him, this is true, but it was laying me that truly killed him. (grins) I'm glad.

Tien: Fine. (kisses Satay's cheek)

Satay: (silence for a moment) Squee!!! (faints)

Tien: (sigh) Wake up, Satay. (lightly shakes shoulder)

Satay: (groggily) I just had the most wonderful dream…

Chiaotzu: It would be so funny if you kissed her on the lips.

Satay: So…wonderful…

Tien: I'm not willing to risk it O.o

Yamcha: Alright, I'm not. I never did it with Bulma (my worst luck), but I did with my new girlfriend a few times :D:D:D (winks) (isn't squashed) See!

Satay: Stop that. You're ruining my good mood.

Tien: I thought it'd make your day.

Satay: It'll probably make my week, Tien-chan, but this baka is freaking me out…

Tien: Yeah. Not as confused as Chiaotzu was when he got back. Let's face it; when he left Krillin was a little bald weirdo how had almost as much chance scoring as Gohan did when he was a whiney little kid who was scared of his own shadow. Then he comes back and Krillin is a little weirdo with hair, a wife and kid.

Chiaotzu: He does have a point. It was scary.

Krillin: oo

Yamcha: OoooOooo. Krillin got burned!

Chiaotzu: Yeah, and when I left Yamcha and Bulma were having a slightly rocky relationship. Then I come back and Bulma has married Vegeta (of all people) and had a kid, and Yamcha's the male version of a spinster.

Yamcha: O.O

Chiaotzu: (giggle)

Piccolo: When I was evil I killed a lot of people, destroyed a couple of small villages and harboured my overwhelming hatred for all things good. Treason may not be inheritable, but basically I am my father. He put all his thoughts and memories into me. All I heard was his voice in the back of my head, telling me to kill things.

Dende: Well…that's healthy.

Piccolo: When have I ever said I was mentally stable? Why do you think I meditate all the time? It's the only way to banish that freak's voice from my head!

Satay: Fair enough… I think… O.o

Piccolo: Yes. There were many things that you didn't see. Many things… Lots of death…

Satay: Alright (gives Piccolo weird look which he ignores), onto question ten:

**Anime Fan18.0 asks:**

**Keeps getting better...**

**Sorry for the late review, but I've been a little busy. BUT...I'M BACK! (Scary music plays and lightning flashes) **

**Piccolo: Here's a shield to protect you from anyone who wants to turn you into a girl/make you watch fake gay videos/ make you sober. Oh, and again (Makes TWO bottles the size of Canada appear filled with Piccolo's choice of alchol) Denede, if you touch Piccolo or try to make him sober, you'll blow up...(mutters) at least during this chapter. Oh, how accute is a Namek's ear. How far away can you hear stuff? **

**King Veg-head: Why are you such a wimp. (Hits with spiked mallet in the nuts, then blows up fifteen seconds later) (waits until revived) here, have some food. (Makes food appear) (Waitsuntil he almost has it, then makes it dissapear) BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**Yamacha: Hmm...(Blows up so many times that it reaches a number not yet known to man, other than infinity) Hehehe. (Hypnotizes Yamma into not letting Yamcha come back if he gets killed one more time) MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Krillin: Technically, how old is 18?**

**Tien and Chiatzou: Why do you travel so often? Is it to get away from a certain fangirl? (CoughLaunchcough)**

**Dende: You really wanna know what they meant by the "Mr. Popo" comment? (Tells Dende question from earlier about Mr. Popo doing to him what Piccolo did to Gohan in those fake videos) You can have a spazz attack now.**

**Satay: Good job! Sorry I haven't reviewed. Like I said: I've been busy. Hehe...oi. **

**Bye!**

**Signed: Anime Fan18.0**

Piccolo: Ahaha! Take that all you randoms who want to make me a female! Nya! Hehe… I'm saving one of these for later! (sculls half of one of them) I don't think I'll drink myself into complete inebriation. A gentle tipsiness will be quite nice.

Dende: Why would I touch Piccolo?

Satay: Why not?

Dende: I'll blow up…that's quite a good reason…

Satay: Tis true…

Piccolo: Well, I hear lots of things. When I'm at Goku's house (you know how far away that is) I hear people talking in the nearest towns. It's kinda funny :D

Satay: He's…smiling…in a happy way…

Piccolo: Hehe…

King Vegeta: You are so mean!!! I hate you so much!!!!

Satay: Yeah, like that's going to offend anyone. Stupid monkey boy…

Yamcha: Oh Dende…

Satay: Is there a way we can make him _not_ see Yamma when he dies?

Dende: Uh… Gimme a sec… (thinks) Okay, I think I've got it… (points at Yamcha)

Yamcha: Ah! It tingles!!!

Krillin: Technically? As in her biological age or her chronological age? Because if you mean chronological she is (mumbling) 14 years younger than me… (back to normal) If you mean biological age, she's permanently stuck at 19 and a half.

Satay: Wow, I'm not sure which one is more creepy.

Yamcha: Wow! You've got a _teenage_ sexbot! DAMN!!

Krillin: (whacks Yamcha) I warned you!

Yamcha: OW!!

Satay: hehe… Stupid Yamcha…

Tien: Not really. We just try different areas to train. We've got one permanent home in the northern snowy areas, but we do move around a lot.

Chiaotzu: Yeah! It's fun :D:D:D

Dende: (twitch)

Satay: Dende? Are you alright?

Dende: (twitch)

Satay: (waves hand in front of his face)

Dende: (twitch and drool)

Satay: Wow… I think you broke his brain…

Dende: (drool)

Krillin: Great. Who can fix God?

Satay: Hmm…I can't imagine…

Yamcha: (whispers into Dende's ear)

Dende: What!? Where!?! AH!! (flies up near ceiling)

Satay: What did you tell him!?

Yamcha: That Mr Popo was standing behind him (evil chuckle)

Satay: Idiot! (slaps him)

Dende: (crouched in a ball in the corner of the ceiling, trembling) So cold…

Satay: (soothingly) C'mere, Dende. Come on, Dende, come down. I'll look after you. C'mon…

Dende: (flies quickly and shelters behind Satay, trembling)

Satay: (pats his head) Good, Dende. It's alright… (evil glare at Yamcha)

Yamcha: Aww…he's still twitching.

Satay: You are such a mole-child, Yamcha. I do thank you, Anime Fan18.0, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I'm a bad person (shame) Onto question eleven:

**3 eyes asks:**

**Tien: I love you so much...I have a bigger obsession over you than Satay. glomps**

**Choatzu: You're cute. pats on head**

**Piccolo: I feel sorry for you to have to put up with all this. **

**Throws everyone but the Nameks, King Vegeta, Tao, Crane a steak**

**Hits King Vegeta, Tao, and Crane with mallets.**

**Aww, what the heck. Hits Yamcha too Sorry Yamcha, I have nothing against you, but when everyone else did it, it looked like fun.**

Tien: Alright then.

Satay: Hmm… Wanna bet?

Tien: Now, now. There's enough of me for everyone.

Satay: Hell no! You're mine! (possessive)

Tien: Okay, now I'm scared…

Chiaotzu: Me too…

Satay: (growling)

Chiaotzu: Thanks. Be careful, I think Satay has lots of weapons . 

Satay: Damn straight I do!

Tien: Satay! Be nice!

Satay: Fine… But I don't want to share . 

Chiaotzu: Thanks. I am cute, aren't I? (cute giggle)

Satay: Aww… so cute (grins)

Tien: Phew, that was a close one. We almost had a murder on our hands there…

Satay: Yeah, but I'm happy now :D:D:D

Piccolo: Your pity is appreciated but unhelpful.

Satay: Piccolo, be nice!

Piccolo: You weren't.

Satay: Yes, but she was threatening my position.

Tien: Just a gentle reminder; whose bed am I currently sitting on?

Satay: … Oh yeah… (grins)

Tien: (rolls eyes)

Yamcha: Aw…that's not fair. (pout)

Satay: I told you never to do that! (smacks)

Yamcha: No, you told Kingy never to do that!

Satay: Well…You should still never do that!

King Vegeta: Don't call me Kingy!!!

Satay: Okay, onto question twelve:

**Shojin Anime asks:**

**Shojin Anime: this fic rocks and is awesome!**

**questions:**

**Tien: Why did you leave Launch when she loved you and you two would have made a great couple! poor launch.**

**Dende: dude you rock, cause your more sane that most of all the of the others. and how did you look after the earth when the z-fighters fight off the bad dude and you don't?**

**Krillen: how did you and 18 get hooked up? and how does 18 have a kid when she is a android?**

**Yamcha: have you ever considered that you may have done "something" to drive bulma from loving you. she did like you and i feel a bit sorry for you.**

**Piccolo: you're the most sane here (kinda) out of the bunch which is another reason why you're cool. and it's very cute about how your like gohan's second father. Also are you like a plant cause you only drink water and asexually reproduce? why are there no female nameks?!?! god sexists**

**this fic rules Satay keep up the good work.**

Tien: Because she's a homicidal, possessive, psychotic freak. That's why. I was considering coming back, but then she said something about following me up to Kami's lookout, and that just did it for me. No way am I going back to that kind of crap…

Yamcha: I thought you broke up after the Cyclops incident…

Tien: We did, but she kept following me. It freaked me out . 

Dende: I look after everyone while the fighters are gone. I give advice and sooth the fears of the regular people. These guys _save_ the world, I look after it.

Krillin: She came over to Kame House threatening to beat me up and just…didn't leave… She's based on a human. Gero just added a bunch of wiring into her muscles and stuff. Her…uh…reproductive system was left untouched (blush)

Yamcha: People keep saying that, but I wasn't sure what I did.

Piccolo: Flowering plants reproduce sexually. I am not a plant. Nameks are not plants. We're lizards. (hisses and does the tongue flicky thing) There, convinced? There are no female Nameks because on the planet Namek there was never any female lizards. Asexual from the beginning, that's us.

Satay: Alright, I'm going to try to update more often now, promise. Keep reviewing, please, and…yeah… Thank you all for your support, we'll see you next time! Bye!!!


	9. Chapter 9

Satay: Alright. We have chapter nine of Ask The Lesser Known Z Fighters. How exciting! I'm a terrible, terrible, terrible person. Don't hurt me, please. I've been intensely busy these past…12 months… With school and exams and life and college applications and interviews and more exams and meeting up with old friends and soon with turning 18 :D:D:D (happy)

Piccolo: Kill me.

Satay: No. Now, sit quiet and we'll listen to question one (Don't be too outraged, Tien):

**Krillin Fan asks:**

**As I said, it's a fact that will be debated, but Krillin IS stronger than Tien. Sorry, but it's true. I mean, he managed to maintain superiority over Yamcha, yet when he and Yamcha were training with King Kai, Yamcha actually managed to flick Olibu away with no trouble, and Olibu even gave Pikon trouble. Pikon being as strong as Cell was, and following the line of reason, Krillin was about as strong as Dabura by the end of DBZ. True story! Besides, Tien quit actively fighting during the Cell games, remember? He technically retired first.**

**Well, personal preferences aside, I do have a question for Dende that I forgot to ask: What was it like being entrusted as Guardian of the earth at such a young age?**

**And one for both our Namekian friends: As far as your... uh, 'egg burping' goes, do you have to reach a certain age for that to work? You know, like humans go through puberty before they can reproduce? And is it as awkward for you as it is for us?**

**And a statement about King Vegeta: in all actuality, he didn't give his sone to Frieza; Frieza stole him, and the King actually tried to get him back.**

**And one for Krillin: Much as I like the dude, what the heck was up with the 'stache? I think the only one scarier was Vegeta's! Well, on to my question: How did 18 react to the nightmares he used to get from what Frieza did to him? And when she found out how he was treated back at the temple?**

Tien: O.O

Satay: Uh…not good…

Tien: (in a dangerously quiet voice) I said that I retired after the Cell games. Chiaotzu had the sense to talk me out of it. If I hadn't, then how the hell would I have been able to stop Buu from killing Dende and Hercule? Give him a card? Hmm??

Chiaotzu: (nervous giggle) Calm down, Tien.

Krillin: For once, I'm not going to say anything.

Tien: Smart move, little man.

Satay: I have one thing to say, and that is that the stronger of the two of them is simply a matter of personal preference. Much as I love Krillin, I love Tien more. Thus he is the stronger in my eyes. Also, he's bigger. In my experience bigger stronger. For an example, Goku and Vegeta. Which is the bigger, and which is the stronger?

King Vegeta: My son?

Satay: No. Bad Vegeta. (smacks him)

King Vegeta: Ow…

Satay: Oh, also, I actually agree a little: Krillin is the strongest human fighter.

Tien: … WHAT!? I thought you were on my side!!

Satay: I am! But…uh…you're…not human…

Tien: (shocked silence)

Chiaotzu: He's not what now?

Everyone else: (stares at Tien)

Satay: Oh yeah, recent revelations… You're an alien… Surprised?

Tien: (shocked silence) Yeah… A little… Not human, huh? (looks at Krillin) I'm still stronger than you, shorty.

Krillin: Don't call me shorty! (pout)

Dende: It was terribly frighting, thrillingly exhilarating and ego-boosting. After all, they picked me, the little Namek from one of the villages, rather than one of the village elders. It was brilliant (grins)

Piccolo: The…uh…'egg-burping' thing does happen after a short period of 'adolescence'. For normal Nameks, such as Dende or the other Nameks on the new planet, this period lasts approximately three years and is shown by a rather large growth spurt and developments of the powers which they have. If Guru hadn't unlocked Dende's power to heal, it would have been developed in that time. In abnormal Nameks, like me. this period lasts two months. I shot up from Krillin's height to mine in two months. (smirks at Krillin) Jealous?

Satay: Hell yes!

Piccolo: O.o

Satay: It's not fair! Damn all tall people!!

Tien: Even me?

Satay: Especially you!

Everyone but Satay: O.o"

Satay: I wanna be tall… (sniffle)

Piccolo: Uh…anyway… It's not really very awkward. You feel really uncomfortable but that's about it. We don't get skin blemishes like you do. Nor do we have that ridiculous 'sexual tension' thing people keep bugging me about.

King Vegeta: This is true…but I didn't really try very hard .

Krillin: What about my 'stache? Anyway, she was very comforting. Very, very comforting. And with the temple, well, she kinda went there with me and made a big fuss over me and ended it all with a huge kiss in the middle of the dojo. Those guys freaked out. (laughs)

Satay: (sniffles)

Tien: Uh… I think she's lost it…again…

Satay: No, I'm fine. (envious glance at the tall members of the room…excluding Yamcha) Alright, onto question two:

**Conan asks:**

**Heh, hey, Krillin! Why don't you tell yam-brain over there exactly how many times you and Bulma got it on up there on the big green planet? Not to mention the things she did to you, and vice verse! Wow, I'm sure Gohan got an earful up there! Poor kid.**

**Speaking of which, how about the time Gohan and Videl caught you and 18 'doin' your business' in the dressing rooms at the mall? I heard you two got pretty dirty there!**

**Piccolo and Dende: Do you guys ever go to the bathroom?**

**Yamcha: Did you know Maron had at least five STDs? Good thing she caught 'em after baldie did his thang, eh. How sad for you, though.**

**Tien: Do you ever get eyelashes in your third eye? Or does it have lashes?**

Yamcha: What!?

Krillin: Got it on? No! We didn't! I swear! Eh-heh… We just kissed and stuff, I swear to Dende, Yamcha, I didn't do the nasty with your girlfriend!

Yamcha: Yeah, just like I didn't do it with yours! Come off it, Krillin, and tell me exactly what she said about me!

Krillin: She said you were a freak, but we didn't have sex! Swear!

Satay: What about Gohan and Videl catching you in the dressing room?

Krillin: (turns bright red) That was only once.

Tien: O.O Whose idea was it?

Chiaotzu: Tien!

Tien: What? I want to know!

Krillin: (mumbled) …mine…

Satay: Ew... Let's just move on, alright? Okay? Is everyone fine with that?

Everyone but Krillin: (nods)

Krillin: (blush)

Piccolo: No.

Dende: Piccolo explained that in chapter…uh…I can't remember…

Satay: Yeah, it was a long time ago, ay?

Yamcha: I was wondering where I got that! Ew… I had to have so many creams.

Everyone else: O.o"

Yamcha: So many creams…

Satay: MOVING ON!

Tien: Lashes? As in eyelashes? I don't even get them in my two 'normal' eyes. I've got good eyelashes; they stay where they belong (grins smugly)

Satay: Well that was a marvellously unsatisfying answer. Let's go onto question three:

**The Ultimate Saiyan asks:**

**Piccola:Hmph!(Takes away Flying Ability and turns into woman)**

**Krillin:(Puts in unbreakable Love spell making him lust for Piccola)**

**Yamcha:BACK TO THE BASICS FOR YOU!(Hits in nuts with gigantic mannequin)**

**King Veg-Man:DIE!(Throws a football That hits him square in the nuts)**

**Dende:Don't worry.The Fangirls are gonna be swarming over you like bees and your covered in Honey.**

Piccolo: Hah! I have this awesome shield! So I'm not a woman!

Krillin: Why are you so cruel? (starts chasing Piccolo)

Piccolo: Oh son-of-a-!

Dende: Piccolo!

Piccolo: Well then stop him!

(Krillin continues to chase Piccolo around in a circle)

Piccolo: (jumps first onto Yamcha's head and then onto the fan) Hands off, baka!

Krillin: But, sweetie darling! Come down! Please!

Piccolo: No chance!

Yamcha: (faint)

King Vegeta: (falls down and screams in agony)

Satay: My ears hurt.

Tien: Me too.

Chiaotzu: Me three.

Satay: Wow, it must suck to be a Namek right now.

Piccolo: (almost falls off the fan because he's holding onto his ears)

Krillin: Yes! Come on down, sweetness!

Piccolo: Ah! Do I be deafened or be raped by creepy short man?! WHY!?

Dende: (hands over ears) What?

Satay: (points at King Vegeta) Shut him up and put Krillin in a cage or something!

Dende: Kay! (points at King Vegeta)

King Vegeta: (continues to scream but with no sound)

Dende: (points at Krillin)

Krillin: (in a cage) Huh?

Satay: That's it! Dende, is there anything you can do?

Dende: Uh… (points at Krillin)

Krillin: (a little bracelet appears on his wrist)

Piccolo: That's it?! (jumps back down to the ground) What's that going to do?

Dende: It prevents any other love or lust spells being put on him.

Piccolo: Good.

Dende: However, it doesn't break the one that was just put on. We're gonna have to wait until that wears off.

Krillin: Come here, babe!

Piccolo: Ew… (inches away)

Dende: That's good…I think… (turns to Satay) Is it good?

Satay: Only if you want to end up like Piccolo. Except, nicer…

Piccolo: Hey! I can be nice!

Satay: Sure… Anyway, we'll do question four:

**Clare-stovold asks:**

**Krillin: O.O! OMG! You finally got hair! WOOT! Praise the lord! (Face turns bored) And now im tired...**

**Chout-zu: But you did audition for a part in pokemon...remember...Mr. Mime...**

**Tien: You scare me...O.O**

**Yamcha: Two timing cheating ! I spit on you! (Spits on him)**

**Piccolo: There is something i've been meaning to ask...it's true that you don't eat right...then how ocme in the android saga when you were training with goku and gohan, they catch a fish for dinner and then you say "Ugh, fish again? thats the fifth time this week", or something like that...do you? or do you not eat?**

**Dende: (Sarcastic) Oh im sorry i offended the god (Bows down still sarcastically)...your such an idiot d'you know that...(Hint:**

Krillin: Yay! Can you get me out of this cage?

Satay: Do you still want to get into Piccolo's pants?

Krillin: …yes?

Satay: Then no.

Krillin: Damn…

Chiaotzu: No I didn't. Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Satay: You're so much cuter than Mr Mime too. Aww…

Chiaotzu: Um…okay…

Tien: I scare a lot of people (grins)

Yamcha: (still fainted)

Satay: I'll wipe that up… (gets a tissue)

Piccolo: Because we can eat fish. I just prefer not to. Fish is low density enough to be digested and excreted through sweat, as well as fluids. Also, I don't like the smell of fish. It's gross.

Satay: Hear, hear!

Dende: (sarcastically) Well, I'm glad you've seen the light.

Satay: I'm not even going to say it. When was the last time any of you were nice?

Tien: Uh…

Chiaotzu: Can't remember…

Satay: Exactly. (sigh) Oh well. Be mean then, it's no skin off my nose. As such, we'll go to question five:

**Dragonballgeek101 asks:**

**Kingy: (bashes on the head REALLY hard more then Infinity times) KAMI, I missed doing that!**

Yammy-bitch: (makes fuck Kingy) MUHAHAHAHAHA! (watches) OMG COVER YOUR EYES! AH!

Dende: (gives a Wii and 20 games) eh, i couln't think of anything...

Chiaotzu: Do u like ice pops?

Piccy: BOOZE MAN! lol heres more booze. (makes into a frieza fangirl) HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tien: (brings in fangirls) U better hide!!

Satay: Keep Tein safe!

Krillin: (makes permenetly bald) HAHAHAHAHA! DENDE CAN NOT HELP U NOW! MUHAHAHAHA!

King Vegeta: OW!! DAMMIT!! Stop that!!

Yamcha: (does as commanded)

Everyone else: EWW! (looks away)

Chiaotzu: What the -?

Tien: (covers Chiaotzu's eyes) Don't look, bro…don't look…

Satay: STOP THEM!!

Dende: (points)

King Vegeta and Yamcha: (stop)

King Vegeta: …

Yamcha: … I think silence is best now…

Satay: I agree…

Dende: Thanks…I think…

Chiaotzu: What're…? Oh, you mean those icy lolly things? I love those! Especially the red ones. -

Piccolo: Thanks for the booze, but did you just try to make _me_ into a fangirl of _that_? Oh, you crazy. You so crazy…

Tien: AHH!!

Satay: HE'S MINE! NOT YOURS, MINE!! STAY BACK!! (forces fangirls into another portal)

Tien: I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you…

Satay: (love-heart eyes) You're welcome, Tien-kun…

Tien: (sigh)

Krillin: Aww… (runs hand over head) Oh well, when I get outta here it'll all be good again…

Satay: Ahem, onto question six:

**Maric asks:**

**King Vegeta: If you're still alive would you ever train your grandchildren on how to be proper Saiyan Royalty?**

Piccolo: If you have a male gender what will be your ideal woman? Answer wisely and I'll make you a pure male male namek.

King Vegeta: Let me think about that for a moment…hmm…. NO! They're not true Saiyan royalty. They have the blood of a (shudder) human running through their veins. They're not worthy to wear my crown.

Satay: Good, coz your crown was vaporised too.

King Vegeta: Oh, damn it! C'mon! My crown!?

Piccolo: Hmm, I'd have to say nonexistent. I DON'T WANT TO BE A COMPLETE MALE!! If I did become one, Satay would probably rape me when she was through with Tien.

Satay: Damn right!

Tien: What?

Satay: Hush, love, it'll be over soon…

Tien: Love? What?

Satay: Shh… Now to question seven, before Tien twigs…:

**DeathGoblin asks:**

**King Vegeta: Is there any reason why Vegeta refers to himself as the saiyan prince instead of the saiyan king? If you're dead shouldn't he be King?**

Krillin: Do you think 18 would've given you a chance if 17 had been there with her after the Cell Games?

Piccolo: Are you stronger than Goten or Trunks when they're not fused?

Yamcha: Do you still have feelings for Bulma?

King Vegeta: Yes, there is actually. He's a brat, but he sticks to Saiyan tradition well enough. He had to be inaugurated as king, and he never was. If the proper ceremony was carried out then he could call himself king, but until that day he's still a prince. Quite right, too. Insolent brat.

Krillin: No, I don't. Well…actually… She admitted she'd been intrigued with me after I didn't kill her, so maybe I would have. Then again, 17 would've just…

Satay: You're babbling, get on with it.

Krillin: Okay, okay. No, overall, I think she would've stayed with her twin rather than me… But he wasn't, and I got to score with a hot babe (proud grin)

Piccolo: No, unfortunately. Well, not any more. They're stronger than me individually now too. (sigh) Oh well, it was a good couple of weeks…

Yamcha: No! I don't!

Krillin: Don't lie.

Tien: Yeah, Yamcha, we all know the truth.

Satay: Lie and I'll hit you.

Yamcha: Fine, I do… But I'm much more in love with Lunch now that we're living together. (pause) Oops…

Tien: YOU BASTARD!! (lunges)

Satay: (grabs him back) No fighting! I won't hit you, Tien, but I'll take you to the bedroom for some alone time if you don't cooperate.

Tien: (swallows) I'll be good.

Satay: (under her breath) Damn…

Tien: O.O"

Satay: Anyway, onto question eight:

**3 eyes asks:**

**Satay: I'm not afraid...I have weapons too and a team to help me get him out of there...MUWHAHAHAHAHA! He's mine! I'll find a way to get in that room and back out...**

Tien: (glomps again)

Piccolo & Choatzu: I'll rescue you guys too.

Satay: Oh, you just try it. (cocks rifle)

Tien: Ah! Fangirls! I never knew!

Satay: Mine! (glomp)

Piccolo: Thank you!

Chiaotzu: I actually kinda wanna stay. It's nice not having to cook for a change.

Tien: Uh…Chiaotzu?

Chiaotzu: Oh, right… (pulls Satay off Tien with his telepathy) Better?

Tien: Much better. Thanks.

Satay: Well, it was fun while it lasted. You're warming up to me though, aren't you, Tien-kun?

Tien: … Hm… Listen, I promise that I'll give a kiss, on the lips, to any of my fangirls who don't threaten to kill any of my other fangirls. That's for everyone out there! Okay? Okay.

Satay: I'd never do that! (hides weapons)

Tien: (rolls eyes) (pecks Satay on lips)

Satay: (faint)

Dende: We've got to get a move on with this… (points to Satay)

Satay: (wakes up) I'm happy now (inane grin) Okay, question nine:

**TheSilentShogun asks:**

**(Portal opens and a rouge stranger carrying a sword pulling a cart falls through landing in the kitchen. Upon impact the wheels of the cart break and the strangers sees the damage.)****Honorable Piccolo, I understand that you have created quite a number of attacks for yourself, but, I must ask was the Maseko attack Gohan uses yours to begin with or did he create the attack? Now please accept this camelback of Tucker's Death Mix. (Hands Piccolo the large liquid container of the alcoholic beverage) It's just the name of the drink. It is just a mixture of a litter of Everclear which is 80 proof, a quart Gatorade, and a can of Red Bull.**

Figures and this is one of my favorite carts. Oh well I guess this will be the last time I trust a witch selling spells and potions out the back of an beat-up pinto. (The stranger turns around to see the Z-fighters, Satay, and King Vegeta) Oh, hello. I apologize for the mess but I wished to ask a few questions.

Noble Tein, two of my favorite attacks I've seen belong to you. The Volleyball Fist and your Tri-Beam are truly powerful attacks, but I must ask why does the Tri-beam seem to harm you when you use it? Please accept this as a token of my admiration. (Gives Tein a bottle of Russian Vodka.)

Amazing Chiaotzu, though you are weaker then most your mental strength is that of a super sayian. If I knew of a question to ask you I would, but until that time comes I offer you this. (Presents Chiaotzu with a bottle of sake)

Wise Krillin, despite what everyone else says I know you are the most powerful out of the humans. I also know you are man of honor, but I remember when you were once a scoundrel. After what happened after the dinner that you caused Goku not to be apart of by not allowing him to have the rock he found did you decide not to trick him anymore? I hope I didn't embarrass you from revealing this secret. I want you to have this. (Gives Krillin a bottle of an old fine red wine.) When you return hope use this for a romantic evening between you and your wife.

Young Dendee, you have been through many things through your young life including the destruction of your home planet. Yet you have not to fall into despair. What makes you stay this way? Please take this with my gratitude for the guardian of the earth. (Sets a large cooler filled with bottles of ice cold water)

The bandit thief Yamancha, I hate everything about you except your wolf fang fist attack. But that doesn't redeem you enough in my eyes not to doing something that is very uncharacteristic of me. (Pulls out a Glock from behind his back and shoots Yamancha's "spirit balls")

King Vegeta, in a way we should be glad you gave Frieze your son. For if you hadn't we wouldn't have the noble Super Sayian warrior he became. Now if you still think he's a fool for marrying and having children with an earth woman use this on yourself. (Toss the king of the saying's a 12 inch rubber dildo.) Consult that fake sex tape of Piccolo and Gohan if your unsure of it's purpose.

Now fair beauty Satay, I understand why you make advances of the sexual nature towards Tein, but, you must remember you are 16 years old. You wouldn't want him thrown in jail for statutory rape do you? I hope you like these. (Gives Satay a bouquet of white roses.) Now I must be off. (Notices Yamancha coming out of the bathroom from die due to certain bullet wounds.) Just let me take care of one last thing.

(The stranger beats the living shit out of the legendary bandit before taking Yamancha's head and literally shoving it up Yamancha's ass. Then the stranger takes his camera phone and takes the a picture of Yamancha in his current predicament.)

Bulma, would like to see this next time I talk to her. See all of you later. (The stranger says a few words before a portal opens and makes his exit while the portal closes behind him.)

Satay: Hi! I really appreciate your questions. They're really well thought out :D

Piccolo: The Masanko was mine, originally. I taught him it during the six months we trained together. He got really good at it, actually, though he never got the Masanko Sappo, which is of course my most famous attack.

Satay: Hate to break it to you, Piccolo, but it's called Special Beam Cannon in English.

Piccolo: WHAT!? That's lame! Then how can people know the Masanko's mine?

Satay: Well, they don't…

Piccolo: (sigh) Thank you for the drink. I'll really enjoy this…

Tien: Tri-beam?

Satay: Kikoho, tri-beam in English.

Tien: Oh, the Kikoho! Well, it drains the life force, or ki, of the one that uses it. I think I'm the only one who's mastered it to the level I have, and even so I've died once and almost died a couple more times doing it. The most memorable one was against Imperfect Cell, but while I was learning there were a couple of times when I was in a coma for days, just lying conked out on my bed with Chiaotzu looking after me. That sucked… Anyway, so yeah, it hurts. Don't try it at home… Thanks for this! (takes a sip) Oh, that is nice!

Chiaotzu: (blushes) Thank you. (takes sake) Oo, this'll go great with that dish I was making before I got whisked off here…

Satay: Wait, you were cooking when I got you?

Chiaotzu: Yeah.

Satay: So…why aren't you wearing an apron?

Chiaotzu: (flushes) It was dirty… I spilled spaghetti on it just before…

Krillin: Well, after I tricked him I got really, really bad food poisoning. It was the fish, I think. Anyway, so that sucked, and I reckoned it was karma come to get me, so I was nice from then on. I didn't actually like him for ages, but he grows on you, you know? It's weird, you just come to expect that wide grin and that infectious laugh. Thank you for the wine, I'm gonna wine and dine 18 good when I get outta here.

Satay: Oh, is _that_ what they're calling it these days.

Krillin: (blush)

Dende: (smiles) Oh, I was in a bad way for a long time. Cargo helped, so did Gohan. I guess the things I saw made me ready to become Guardian of Earth in a weird way. Though, in all fairness, Piccolo suffered a lot more than I did when he was a kid, and he turned out okay.

Piccolo: (glare)

Dende: …kinda… (takes a sip) This is great! It's like, glacial or something! Thank you! -

King Vegeta: Hmm… (eyeing dildo) Intriguing…

Satay: Ew! (whacks King Vegeta) Impure! IMPURE!

Krillin: What?

Satay: (shrugs) Dunno, it was funny…

Tien: Wait! JAIL!? Statutory rape!? WHAT THE!?

Satay: (guilty smile) Oh, it has been a long time since I updated… I thank you for the roses, I really do, it's very sweet, but I'm not 16 anymore… Hell, I'm going to be 18 in 23 days… (flushes) But your concern is touching, thank you… (puts roses in vase)

Yamcha: (voice muffled) Isn't anyone going to help me?

Krillin: Frankly, we just don't want to touch you.

Piccolo: Figure it out yourself; I'm not putting my hands on you.

Yamcha: (voice muffled) Aw, crap…

Satay: (guilty) I feel bad now… I'm a bad, bad person. (holds out hand) Slap me.

Chiaotzu: (slaps wrist)

Satay: … Ow… Feel a little better now… Okay, question ten:

**z-nadka-zak asks:**

**triclops: three eyes... I GOT IT! your so powerful that you got ANOTHER EYE! FROM BIRTH1**

mime-y: umm, what powers do you have?

dende: for some reason, your one of my fave characters here! (gives tanks of water)

vege-flute: YOUR MY OTHER FAVE! also, because of that, i am a 6th namek, 3rd saiyan, 3rd race that is not mentioned in DBZ, and 6th human! only a 6th namek cos i only NEED the powers, the green skin is not necessary... I HAVE A TAIL! (gice him tanks of water)

king beardo: (Forces an earing on his ear) (bardock appears with the other potara earing) HAH! YOU TWO FUSED!

yamcha: DIE BITCH DIE! (stabs)

krillin: (points) YOU GOT NO NOSE

satay: UPDATE SOON!

Tien: Uh… Yeah, sure, why not?

Satay: Coz you're an alien, remember? Discovered that early on this chapter…

Tien: Yeah, I remember that…

Chiaotzu: Well, I can fly, I can freeze people with my mind, I can cause extreme intestinal discomfort.

Krillin: He made me belly hurt!

Chiaotzu: Yes, quite. I can't count, or tell left from right, but I can blow myself up and look super cute. What else do I need?

Yamcha: Hair?

Chiaotzu: Oh yeah, and despite being a cute little boy, I _still_ have more sex appeal than Yamcha!

Yamcha: … WHAT!?

Krillin: Oh, burn!

Chiaotzu: That'll teach you (pokes out tongue)

Dende: Thanks. Looks good (adds it to ever-growing pile of water)

Piccolo: (sarcastically) Thank you for that. I really didn't need to know that…

Satay: (warningly) Piccolo…

Piccolo: (sigh) Okay, thanks for the water…

King Vegeta: What!? (him and Bardock fuse)

King Vedock: What the hell!?

Satay: Dende…?

Dende: (sigh) (points to King Vedock)

King Vedock: (unfuses)

Satay: Get the hell outta my room, Bardock, you're not in this!

Bardock: Aww… (sad face) (disappears through portal)

Yamcha: Ha! Rejected!

Satay: Ahem, forgetting something?

Yamcha: Oh… CRAP! OWW!! (dies) (pops back to life) That hurts…

Krillin: You don't say? Really? Wow, I never knew…

Satay: I'm sorry… (slaps own wrist) Bad, Satay. BAD! You should have updated months ago… Bad…

Tien: Uh…okay…

Satay: Moving on to question eleven:

**jenn asks:**

**Satay... Satay...tsk.. Just saying but aren't you a bit TOO busy with other stuff right now? You know, I may be patient but over ten days since the last chap in you know what and a month or two with this?**

Satay: Yes, I know, I'm a bad person. Then again, I've been sending you chaps of the other thing regularly, right? Well, regularly-ish… To question twelve!

**Lesserguysfan asks:**

**Yay, I'm back! A lot more people have gave good things to you because of my review! And I'm making my reviews easier on the eyes, too! . Onto the questions!**

**Satay:So yeah... you said you would update, but look at this, oh well. It's a new year! So you have a clean slate, and if you get chapter 9 done before March, you get a PS3, a Wii, and a Xbox360! You can choose one game for each of them, if you already have one of these consoles, substitute it for 10 games on the console you already have. What's with the long update though?**

Tien: builds course for you to use your new mind powers you got when I broke your mental barrier back in Chapter 5 It's all for the sake of charity work and kindness! . See? I smile all the time! The same goes for you too, Chiaotzu! Did you ever find any possible love intrests so far? whispers Go for Satay, it'll make her feel good. Whisper back to me just in case!

Yamcha: whispers to Yamacha People terribly distort your character in fanfics to shudders having a "relationship" with Tien. pukes blood So I decided to give you 100 of those of those types of pizzas I gave you in chapter five. Of course you can still choose the toppings. says in regular voice It's your choice if you want to tell anybody what "fans" write about you. I respect you for being the smartest of the Z Fighters, you actually used your super human skills to get a good career in baseball. What's your power level? What other lesser known Z Fighter do you want to come here? Speaking of money...

Krillin: Your wife doesn't like Las Vegas, eh? (No, I am not Canadian :P) Well I bribed everyone in the poor part of Las Vegas, and I mean literally EVERYONE to go to Kame House. So now no one feels those "tremors" when it's that time of the month for #18. Oh yeah, Roshi's NATION is now the next Cuba... for the men that live there. Roshi's house is a mansion that has all the women from that lived in Vegas because you know how he is.  
So yeah, even your wife is pleased with all those people gone. I've got some Parissians to fill in the space for people, with their sense of style they loved living in the air! Your mansion is now made of Solid unmeltable gold, has diamond walls inside, and hase emeralds, sapphires, and rubies encrusted outside and inside. Your lawn is empty so you can plan what to plant there. I really like you guys a lot to do this for you, don't I? What was your most embarrasing death? What about #18 do you love the most? How creepy do you think Master Roshi is from a scale of 0-10. Ten is the creepiest and 0 is: This guy is creepy? I'd like to have whatever drug you're having!

Chiaotzu: Umm... I have a lot more respect for you then I used to! Make sure to paralyse Tien if you have to... Any reason why you have pale white skin and it was revealed you only have one short hair under your hat? What did your parents look like? How old would you be if you were a human? How tall would you be?

Dende: Why don't you smite anyone? I've also got Chuck Norris as your bodyguard. Oh but PLEASE for the love of yourself, don't sober Piccolo up this chapter or your bodyguard is going to roundhouse kick you! Again, 100 more bottles of the cleanest water in the Galaxy. Oh yeah, you should try at least a drink. I'll get you started with some crisp, beginner level, beer. If you don't want accept even a bottle of alcohol, have a soft drink, I guarantee you'll love it!

Piccolo: gives you your favorite type of beer/liquor etc. in a bottle 9X wider and taller than the Universe Here you go, and one more suprise for you! gets out machine that, whenever you sweat, since you said it's almost pure alcohol, converts the alcohol and other fluids to be drinkable alcohol, you choose what alcohol by voice commands. It's here in all its glory! You also said you liked soup... brings out machine that, whenever you sweat anything, converts it into any type of soup. It's voice commanded as well. What did you do in between the years of the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai (it was the 23rd one right?) and the Saiyan saga?

King Vegeta: I'll let you eat the stuff you could have had because of the wish I made, but you couldn't at first. So you can now! No matter what. You also get a first class interdimensional spaceship ride to HFIL, to 

**check up on your wife, of course! You know, just in case... ask about King Cold. What were your all your relatives/parents/grandparents like? What is an average saiyan's lifespan? Who's the oldest saiyan ever? Who's the youngest saiyan ever who has died of natural causes? Hey wait! You're not a Z Fighter! Satay! You made a huge mistake in interactions between other characters and this guy, the fact he's not supposed to be here, and he went through unneccesary torture! whispers to Satay If you keep him even for whatever lame reason though, I have something nice for you points to a trillion dollar bill in my hand. I have ten times as much as that in check form if you get Yajirobe in though. done whispering**

I almost forgot, but all of these Z characters I gave good stuff to, has an unbreakable barrier. Unless the spelling and grammar is perfect, you don't kill anyone in your question/slaughter, you don't go for cheap shots like destroying someone's balls, no hour of torture, no spells, and no mallets. I mean why would royalty like King Vegeta get hit by something a mouse hits a cat with? (Tom & Jerry for people who don't know what I mean.) Why don't you add Yajirobe? I noticed most of the people who slaughtered the others/grossed them out/cast a spell on them have terrible typing! That really makes me !ing annoyed. This is courtesy of my Gary Stu self who's as kind as me and well, can do anything he can, unlike me.

. See you guys again!  
Les (hey that's actually pretty good!)

Satay: Yeah, I've already said what a terrible person I am. Don't hurt me, I'm only being an overworked, almost adult in grade 12, okay? I've been very, very busy doing very important things…

Tien: More important than me and Chiaotzu?

Satay: Some of it involved you, actually… But most of it was school, and if I'm going to get into medicine next year then yes, it is more important than you…

Tien and Chiaotzu: (shock)

Satay: I know, I cannot believe I'm saying the words myself… Oh well… I guess I don't get the thingy…since it's September… (shame)

Tien: Thanks, that's going to be a great help to our training!

Chiaotzu: Yeah, thanks! (grin)

Tien: (pause) (whispers) Okay, I will, just coz you made me that maze. (shifts closer to Satay and puts hand on hers)

Satay: (melt)

Tien: (thoughtfully) As long as she stays a puddle this could work…

Yamcha: Do they really? That's weird (sticks out tongue)

Tien: Wait…they do what? Ew… EW! I feel dirty…

Satay: (opens mouth)

Tien: Don't ruin it…this hand holding thing can continue, or it can stop right now.

Satay: (shuts mouth, holds tighter to Tien's hand)

Yamcha: Well, I was the only one who actually got a career after fighting, so yeah, I am smart (pride) I don't know my power level. I stopped getting it read after a while. Once it gets over a million it gets boring and hard to keep track. I just say I'm stronger than Master Roshi, weaker than Goku. That leaves people with a pretty good idea of my skill.

Piccolo: No it doesn't.

Krillin: Yeah, it really doesn't.

Tien: Why don't you make it a tad more vague and say you're stronger than Turtle and weaker than Goku?

Yamcha: Great idea, Tien!

Tien: Oh, the sarcasm, it burns…

Yamcha: … what?

Satay: (still holding Tien's hand) Just answer the rest of the question.

Yamcha: Uh…Dunno…Who else counts as lesser known?

Satay: Yajirobe. I'm gonna bring him in at the end, have no fear of that!

Krillin: Oo, thanks! Now 18 can be happy (grin) That sounds gorgeous! I can't wait to get outta here! I've gotta break in every room of the house (wink)

Yamcha: Wazzat mean?

Krillin: Me and 18 did it to Kame house and we'll do it to this one.

Yamcha: Okay, now I'm really confused.

Piccolo: (pinching bridge of nose) Oh for god's sake, he's going to have sex with his wife in every room of his new house, get it now?

Yamcha: (pause) Oh… (another pause) OH! (sly grin) I got it…

Krillin: On to your questions, my most embarrassing death was Buu. Turned to stone, what a way to go. My most embarrassing almost death was on Frieza's horn. That sucked, and it was really painful, and it looked really, really dumb. I mean, honestly… Bouncing me around like a bouncy ball. Not cool, bro, not cool. I love 18's laugh. It brightens up my day. It's heard far too rarely in this world if you ask me… Master Roshi's about an eight. I mean, he's pretty creepy but he'd got good points as well.

Chiaotzu: Well…that's good… I think… Can I ask why? Uh…if you were really nice you would say I'm a super-evolved human… If you wanna be mean, then my genes mutated in the womb… As far as I remember my parents were pretty normal, but they died a long time ago. If my physical age matched my chronological age I would be around Yamcha's height I think…but I'd be around Tien's age… Scary, huh?

Satay: I'm kinda glad you don't grow up. You're too cute to grow up.

Chiaotzu: (blushes) Thanks…

Dende: Coz I lack the energy. Smiting takes a lot of power. The best I can do is conjure up lightning storms and zap bad people. I do it sometimes…sometimes it happens by itself… Thanks for the beer, I'll give it a shot… 

Why not? I've got 300-something years left to enjoy life, can't keep waiting forever… (takes a sip) Oo, that's not bad…

Piccolo: (noise of appreciation) Thanks, that is gonna be very useful… (takes a swig) I trained mostly. Just kinda drifted around, avoiding everyone. As Nail keeps pointing out every time I think about it, most of the places I trained were very similar to Planet Namek, but more deserted. Five years alone is very interesting. It was the first time I managed to control my father's voice…

King Vegeta: Thanks! Wait…I'm not a what now?

Satay: Shh, Kingy, the grownups are talking…

King Vegeta: You're not a grownup!

Satay: 23 more days, Kingy, 23 more days…

King Vegeta: WHAT!?

Satay: Just answer the questions…

King Vegeta: Okay. The average lifespan of a Saiyan is around 90 to 100 years. The oldest Saiyan ever died at the age of 142, and the youngest to die of natural causes was around 10 of a virus that attacks the immune system…

Satay: Oo, nice! I'm bringing in Yajirobe, promise! And thank you for the warning about spelling and grammar! I can't read some of these reviews, and so I don't know what to say . Neither do the boys… Thank you again, so much!

Tien: Uh…

Satay: I still wanna hold your hand, if it's okay, Tien? (flutters eyelashes)

Tien: (sigh) Okay, sure, whatever…

Satay: Squee! (holds hand tighter) Okay, question thirteen:

**sombra-the resserection asks:**

**hello. i'm sombra, but you can call me that or artemis. first of all, i have only read to chapter 2, because my mom wan't me off soon, so forgive me if i repeat a question already stated. anywho, my favorite character is piccolo, so lets start with him.  
piccolo: how old are you? have you ever spared any humans life before you joined forces with goku? i know you only drink water, but are there any human foods you have been wanting to eat, and if so, what are they? and what is you favorite genre of books? oh, and before i forget. my friend wanted me to ask this since every one else is bringing it up. ok, with the whole reproducing thing (i know, i'm sorry for asking), but if you could 'do it' with a human girl/guy, would you, and if so, what would the human girl/guy's personality have to include for you to even think about 'doing it' with them?**

dende: you are my second favorite character, and i don't really have a question, but more of a comment. last year my twin brother got a hamster, and i talked him into naming it after you. so if you ever see a hamster in one of those small hamster balls rolling around and some one shouting your name after it, don't worry, we're not calling after you. oh, quick question i just thought of. if you could, would you teach me how to heal? i'm in a sword fighting group that does rennasaince stuff, and that would really help when i beat my brother into a bloody pulp. (youngest fighter in the group and darn proud of it!)

**everyone accept yamcha: how do you put up with him? i admit, he is high on my list of favorite characters, but i would not be able to deal with him so much. especialy piccolo, i thought you would have dissinagrated his body by now out of annoyance.**

satay: you are insane, and i thank you for that.

hands all humans/sayins some vegtable ramen sorry i don't have any ramen with meat in it, i'm a vegatarian hands the nameks in the room each a case of irish spring water here, now you can actully have something that you can drink, instead of the regular human food.

and before i forget, the invisable purple squirrles say hi. if you want to know how they are both invisable and purple at the same time, email me at it's the best email i have.

good bye now, and i will try to finish reading the chapters later.

Satay: Hey there ;)

Piccolo: 4 years older than Gohan, thought I explained that already… Uh…no I didn't. Killed 'em all and laughed about it later. Yes, I was a bastard, so sue me…

Dende: Okay!

Piccolo: Not funny, Dende. Anyway, I kinda wanna try those taco things Gohan's been going on about, but that's nothing more than vague curiosity. I don't read much, and when I do it's mainly non-fiction.

Dende: I'm the reader! (grin)

Piccolo: Also, I would not want to 'do it' with anyone, let alone a human, and if there was for some reason some insane urge to 'do it' they would have to be quiet. Very quiet. Mute, in fact…

Dende: That's sweet. I love hamsters. I want one, but Piccolo says I'm not allowed (pout)

Piccolo: You know you'd put it in that ball thing and it'd just roll right off the edge of the Lookout and then _I'd_ have to go fetch it before it splattered…

Dende: Piccolo! That's not nice!

Piccolo: True, though…

Dende: Anyway, I would teach you if I could, but the fact is it's a trait of Nameks. I just have the ability…that's all… And Yamcha's not that bad…in small doses…

Piccolo: I would have, but he would just pop back into life and that annoys me too… (fumes)

Chiaotzu: I ignore him.

Tien: Likewise.

Krillin: I just picture him trying to win back Bulma. Puts a smile on my face every time.

Yamcha: Oh, come on, guys. I'm right here…

Satay: Why thank you! But I am a bad person (sad)

Tien: (sigh) Would it help if I told you that you were just really, really busy?

Satay: (pause) YES! (hug)

Tien: No hugging, not so fast. Slowly, slowly…

Satay: Okay… (holds Tien's hand) I can deal with this till I'm 18 -

Everyone except Yamcha and the Nameks: Thanks for the food!

(pause)

Piccolo: Was that in perfect unison or are my ears stuffing up…?

Dende: I think it was… Can we do it, do you think?

Piccolo: I don't wanna try…

Dende: (under breath) Spoilsport (louder) Thanks for the water -

Satay: I wanna know how they are invisible and purple at the same time (sad) What's your email?? And on to question fourteen:

**Circus-Freak-X3 asks:**

**Hey Wazz Up?! N2MHJC, I've been reading this story since in came online. Yes i just actually joined but ive been reading the stories for a long time. Personally this one is pretty funny. I like this one so plz keep writing it. Its a good one. Keep up the good work!**

Satay: Thanks! I'm sorry it's been so very, very long… (guilty, apologetic smile) Now to question fifteen:

**Fausha asks:**

**King Vegeta: you rock, your son is a super sayian did you know that.  
Piccolo: why do you respect Gohan so much  
Yamcha: why did you break up with bulma... or did she break up with you? O.o!?  
Dende: you are the protector of the world does it ever bother you what people might think of you?  
Krillin: What are those marks on your forehead.  
Tien: your ROCK (telipathically)did you like launch she's the one that stayed with master roshi when goku was a child.  
Chiaotzu: you look like a cute little china doll.  
Picollo: Here have some sensu water i made it my self.(handing him the gord filled woth water)i noticed that you carried your water in a gourd why?**

King Vegeta: Thank you, I'm glad someone finally appreciates my excellence. No I didn't. But from what I hear there are like six super Saiyans. So it's not so great any more, is it??

Piccolo: Because he's my first friend. He's the first one who actually treated me like something more than a demon. It…it meant a lot, okay? He was a very important influence in my life when he was a kid, and I really appreciated it…

Yamcha: It was mutual…

Krillin: She broke up with him.

Yamcha: I didn't! It was mutual!

Tien: Because he cheated on her…

Yamcha: MUTUAL!

Dende: With a life-guard…

Yamcha: MU-! Wait, Dende?

Dende: Yes, well. Everyone else was doing it… (blush)

Krillin: These are the marks from my old monastery. They were meant to symbolise inner peace. I dunno how…

Tien: Thanks! No, I never did like Lunch really.

Yamcha: What?

Chiaotzu: It's telepathy, don't strain your head about it…

Tien: Anyway, she was really weird and I was very uncomfortable around her. Blue-Lunch never did any of that, but blonde-Lunch treated me like a bit of meat…

Satay: I don't do that, do I? If I do I'm sorry… (guilty smile)

Tien: (sigh) You don't do it as much…

Satay: Yay! Not as much!

Chiaotzu: Thank you -

Piccolo: Thanks a lot. I don't know why I did, actually. I made one when I was a kid out of an animal I killed and the habit just stuck.

Dende: Piccolo, that's disgusting!

Piccolo: True, though. It's the truth! It's not my fault it's disgusting…

Satay: Ew… Anyway, onto question sixteen:

**jcogginsa asks:**

**tien,chaotzu,yamcha,yajirobe-you did not help goku against radditz why**

Tien: Simple, I didn't know it was happening.

Chiaotzu: Same.

Yamcha: Same, actually…

Yajirobe: (isn't here yet)

Satay: He's coming, soon, at the end… He'll answer it then…

Piccolo: I'm the only one who helped against Raditz because I'm the only one who knew he was there. That's the only reason these clowns didn't help.

Yamcha: Who're you calling a clown!?

Chiaotzu: I kinda do look like a clown…

Piccolo: Then you're a mime.

Chiaotzu: (sad)

Satay: To question seventeen!

**Shadow of Existance asks:**

**You're doing such a great job on this fic!**

**King Vegeta: Ah, well... I decided Im not going to bash you like the other reviewers, nor do I hate you for sending little Vegeta to Freeza (Did anyone else mistake him for a girl at first?). After all, If you hadn't, we wouldn't have a Vegeta so fans COULD blame you for his problems. So, my question to you is, are you proud of your son and grandson for becoming super saiyans? If I were you, I'd be especially proud of Trunks, since he reached that form at the age of 8.**

Yamcha: Ow, ow, ow! That hurts! I won't do it again! I won't, I won't! OWWWW!!

Krillin: Awesome! Okay, I'll admit it, I'm bad with names, okay? I couldn't think of anything, and 18 was just lying there on the hospital bed with our daughter in her arms just looking at me and of course she was no help coz she couldn't even remember her own name let alone any other girl names and my mind went blank. I just said the first word that came into my head. Thank Kami 18's never met her, that's all I can say…I'd be going to a funeral if that ever happened…

Dende: Thanks - I'm mostly better now. I mean, it was scary, I admit that, but I'll be able to look Mr Popo in the eye again after this. He's my friend, he's taken good care of me…

Yamcha: (under breath) Yeah, I'll bet… (mallet appears from nowhere and whacks him over the head) OW!

Dende: Anyway, thanks for your concern. Me and Gohan just got busy, that's all. It's sad, but we still keep in touch. With his kinda half-father living at my place, he's gotta visit often :D

Tien: Everyone thinks it's adorable, but it's just normal for us. We're brothers, that's all. Through thick and thin… (smiles at Chiaotzu)

Chiaotzu: Life and death… (smiles at Tien)

Satay: SQUEE!!

Tien: I said that…because…well… I was just getting tired, you know? Tired of being beaten, tired of watching people defend me… I was just exhausted with the whole thing. And I did help in the Buu saga. I was taken out in one kick, but I saved Dende's life!

Chiaotzu: Thanks - It took me about eight years to gain control of my powers at all, then another ten to hone them… I was only just in control of them at the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai. That's probably why Krillin won…

Krillin: No, my super genius made me win.

Dende: Made you?

Krillin: Shh.

Chiaotzu: Uh…okay then… Anyway, it was mostly mental sparring. Tien was my sparring partner a lot of the time, and when he would get mentally exhausted – he's not a natural telepath so it did happen – I would work on freezing things. I could freeze an entire forest by the time the Saiyans arrived, and I can almost freeze the whole world now.

Satay: Cooool…

Piccolo: Thank you. I appreciate that. Like I said above, Gohan was the first one to treat me decently. He would listen to what I had to say, and he respected both my word and my action. I was nothing but cruel to him, trust me on that, and yet he still managed to smile and laugh and call me his big, green uncle at the end of the day. True, I beat him twice as hard the next day, but six months of constant admiration wears you down. He was like a son to me by the end of it, and I've kept an eye on him ever since…

Satay: Aw, that's so cute!

Piccolo: And thank you. He is an idiot. I'm glad someone agrees.

Tien: I agree.

Piccolo: You hush.

Satay: (giggle) Yes, I did actually mistake Frieza for a girl for a while. Then there was this huge debate in my head of: 'He's naked, but there's nothing there!' Which led to the conclusion of: 'It must be inside!' I was about 10 at the time. Now I know better: he's just asexual, like Piccolo!

Piccolo: Don't put me in the same category as that freak.

Satay: But you are! Just accept it!

Piccolo: I think I'm gonna hurl…

King Vegeta: Excuse me, I do believe this is _my _question!

Satay: Then go ahead and answer it!

King Vegeta: With pleasure. Ahem, okay, I admit it, I'm a little proud. It's a high rank, and to reach it at such a tender age. (sigh) If only he wasn't part human, then I could accept him as my kin…

Satay: If he wasn't part human it would mean that Veggie was his daddy and Goku was his mummy.

King Vegeta: Who's Goku?

Satay: Kakarot, you know, Bardock's _son_?

King Vegeta: Oh…OH! Okay. That's sick. Ew! Lowly third class scum, wouldn't stand a chance with my high-born son.

Satay: Right…

King Vegeta: Anyway, that boy isn't considered my grandson by me, so no, I'm not proud of my _grandson_. However, as king it does give me some satisfaction to know that the Saiyan gene is still strong…

Satay: Well, that's about it… Oh wait, last minute one, question eighteen, the last before I post this and go to bed!

**RaedenRulbetti asks:**

**Curse you Satu, how on Earth did you manage to get an A on that Maths B exam last year...?**

**You're still beating me aren't you :(...**

**Ah well. Anyway, stop obsessing over Tien :P**

Satay: Hehe, magic powers!

Tien: What the -?

Satay: Friend from school, you wouldn't understand… Anyway, I think it was a fluke. My current maths teacher totally ruined my good maths score streak. Same with my chemistry teacher – I assume, as I haven't actually had the exam yet… And I shall not stop obsessing over Tien! He is a dish, and he's holding my hand ;P

Tien: (sigh)

Satay: Anyway, welcome our newest guest, Yajirobe!

Yajirobe: (appears through hole in window holding a bit of chicken) What the -?!

Satay: Welcome, Yajirobe. Please, sit down on the…uh…linen chest thing! Now, Yajirobe, why didn't you help Goku against Raditz?

Yajirobe: Who's Raditz??

Satay: What an excellent answer that was... Any more questions will be appreciated, I will _try_ to update a little faster this time, but I'm still in yr 12 and I'm still unspeakably busy and it's like 0200 and I'm exhausted! G'night!!


End file.
